Whatever You Want To Do
by Taliax
Summary: He'd do whatever she wanted... Except let her go. AkuShi fluff and angst; begins not long before Xion leaves the Organization for the second time.
1. My Sanctuary

**A/N: This story follows the canon timeline, but Axel is between seventeen and nineteen (for reasons listed on my profile, if you care).**

Some say that the truth will make you free. Xion knew the truth now, or at least most of it, but she didn't feel very free. If anything she was trapped by the decision she knew she had to make. Riku had let her return to the Organization for now, but it was only to say her last goodbyes. One way or another, she was going to leave for good, soon, and her last escape wouldn't be a run for freedom.

_One prison to another…_

Kingdom Hearts shined brightly as ever through the Grey Area window, laughing and mocking her with its eerie light. Xion wished she could tear it out of the sky and bash it against Xemnas's evil face. But even though she, along with Roxas, had created it, she had no idea how to destroy it. Riku said the Organization's leader was going to use it for something evil… he had used her and Roxas for evil all this time, and she'd thought she was doing good. Getting rid of monsters and trying to get hearts back. What would really happen if the great moon was completed?

She thudded a fist weakly against the window. The sound echoed through the room, but there was no one but her to hear it.

"What are you doing up so late, Xion?"

Or so she thought.

She spun to face Axel. He leaned casually against the wall to the right of the entrance, staring at her with one eyebrow raised. "Or maybe early would be a better word. It's past midnight."

"Just… thinking. I couldn't sleep."

"Same here. What're you thinking about?"

Xion sighed, resting her back against the window and letting herself slide down until she sat vulnerably on the ground, legs cradled against her chest. He knew. Why did he have to ask? "I can't stay here," she whispered anyway.

"Hm?" Axel walked over and sat beside her, one of his legs stretched out and the other bent slightly at the knee.

"I can't stay here," she repeated more loudly, even though she knew he'd heard her.

Axel shook his head sadly and sighed. "So what are you going to do about it?" He couldn't resign himself to the idea that one of his best friends would leave him. But they had to do _something_; he couldn't stand to see Xion sitting there, looking so hopeless and defeated.

Xion dropped her head into her hands. "I don't know," she moaned through her fingers. She had planned on leaving tonight, but she'd gotten so caught up in her thoughts that she couldn't bring herself to run away. And there was no way she could go with Axel here. Maybe that was a good thing.

Axel placed a hand on Xion's shoulder to comfort her, but didn't reply.

"What do I do, Axel?" She looked straight into his eyes. It was a gaze that he wanted to meet but was too strong for him to bear, a gaze that yearned for him to tell her that everything would be alright. But he couldn't promise that, however much he wanted to, without lying.

_She and Roxas think I'm some kind of miracle worker, _he thought. In some ways he had worked miracles for them, but he couldn't magically fix this. It was time Xion started to make some of her own decisions.

"Well what do you want to do, Xion?" If she left, he would have to bring her back again. But he hoped she would choose to stay of her own free will.

Xion laughed hollowly, making Axel frown. "I want… I want to be… with you. You and Roxas," she tacked on. _The same words I dreamt._ Except for the last three words, she'd said them without thinking twice.

For some reason Axel was disappointed by the 'and Roxas,' though he couldn't put his finger on why. Of course she wanted the three of them to be together, and so did he. He shook his head and stood up unexpectedly.

"I know you'll try to leave, and then we'll be back at square one again." Axel looked down at her, but she avoided his gaze. "But forget about that for now. What do you _want_ to do? Let's do something right now, just for fun." He'd do anything to cheer her up, to get the excited, funny, spaz-out-when-she-sees-something-cute Xion back.

"Now?" She asked, perking up. "When you could be getting some valuable sleep?"

Axel laughed. "No time like the present, right? Besides, Saïx'll have us up in about three hours, anyway."

Xion frowned. "I don't know anything fun, except for eating ice cream on the clocktower."

Axel crossed his arms, thinking. She'd wanted to go to the beach, but he couldn't take her there without Roxas. They'd promised to go together.

His mouth widened into a grin. There was one other thing she'd wanted to try. "C'mon, I'll show you at least one thing."

"What is it?" Her blue eyes lit up like she'd found a winner stick in her ice cream.

"A surprise." He opened a corridor and gestured for her to walk through.

XXX

"Neverland?" Realization dawned on her. "Wait, this is where you and Roxas flew, isn't it?"

"Didn't take you long to get it memorized." Axel grinned. "Wait here for a sec'."

Xion's eyes followed him as he jogged towards the end of the island where the ship was docked. Once he was out of sight, she took out a few Heartless (with magic, not her keyblade) and kicked some pebbles around.

_This would be the perfect time to leave,_ she thought, _so why don't I?_ She shook her head, her black hair tickling her face. _One more night won't hurt, I guess._ If she was going to have a last memory and it couldn't be of the three of them together on the beach, she wanted it to be of her flying with Axel.

"Hey, you're not about to go off and start acting depressed again, are you?" Axel had snuck up on her while she was thinking, his hands forming a sphere around something that glowed inside. "You can worry later. Got it memorized?"

She nodded, suppressing a giggle at his overuse of those three words. "What's that?" She pointed to his hands.

He unveiled the green-dressed creature, his hands unfolding like the petals of a black flower. "She might take offense to being called a 'that,' and she's our ticket to flying."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss," she apologized quickly, and Axel laughed at her politeness. Things like that tend to stick out when you live in an Organization filled with heartless jerks. He wondered where she'd heard the word 'Miss' in the first place.

The pixie seemed pleased with Xion's manners and circled around her, spreading the magical dust. When she was through, she stuck her tiny tongue out at Axel.

"Sheesh, what was that for?" He rolled his eyes.

Xion giggled. "Maybe she wants you to use your manners too."

Axel sighed dramatically. "Oh powerful and glorious pixie, I would be honored if you would bestow your magic upon me," he said, sarcasm dripping off his words. Apparently the pixie found it acceptable enough, since she flew around him too. Or maybe not; she gave him a swift kick on the nose before flying away.

Xion shook with laughter. A grin pulled at the edge of Axel's mouth until he swallowed his pride and allowed it to surface.

"Yeah, ha ha. Do you want to fly or not?"

Xion straightened up. "I want to fly."

"Good. Roxas said you just have to think of something happy, and believe." _Ugh, I sound like some sappy Disney character._ He found himself thinking of Xion, and he levitated off of the ground much more easily than before.

Xion gasped, then closed her eyes to try it for herself. _A happy thought._ Her and Axel flying was the best she could think of at the moment. It got her off the ground in less than half a second.

"I did it!" She exclaimed through an ear-to-ear grin.

_She's so much better at the happiness thing, when she puts her mind to it. Then again, I wasn't so bad this time, either. _He laughed at her expression of pure joy, joy he knew couldn't be fake.

"Now comes the fun part," Axel said, taking her hand in his. He willed himself towards the stars, pulling Xion behind. To be honest, flying was disorienting and made him a little dizzy, but Xion's laughter rang out like crystal bells in the moonlit night. He'd fly with her forever if he could listen to the sound.

_Being with her… makes me happy. I can't be imagining that, can I?_

He looked over at her elated face. How long had it been since he'd seen her smile like that? It took him a moment to realize he felt the same expression on his own face.

_Maybe they really have rubbed off on me._ Right then, he felt, _felt,_ like the luckiest Nobody in the world.

Xion was startled by the sound of Axel's laughter joining hers, but it only made her want to laugh more. It came from deep inside the heart she wasn't even sure she had. But she _felt_ it, so what else could it be? Right then, her world was perfect.

When they were up high enough to where the island was a tiny dot in the middle of the dark sea, Xion took the lead, spiraling through the sky like an out-of-control firework, but with a little more grace than when Axel had led. She thought her lungs would explode from joyous laughter, but they didn't, so she saw no point in stopping.

"Hey Axel, I hope you're not scared of water!" She yelled back, getting an idea.

"Xion, no-!" The wind whipped away his words as she pulled him into a ninety-degree dive.

They plummeted too fast to scream, in exhilaration or otherwise, just barely closing their eyes and mouths before they split the cresting waves. Xion was shocked by the sudden cold, but Axel took her in an arc back to the open air.

"Xion!" He cradled her in his arms since she had stopped flying on her own. _Don't tell me you can get hypothermia in a few seconds!_ Laying her down on one of the island's cliffs, he set a small magical fire in the air next to her. He put an ear to her chest, breathing a sigh of relief that her lungs were still working.

She coughed out a little saltwater and sat up, rubbing her head. "Maybe that wasn't the best idea."

Axel grinned in relief, dismissing the fire. "I'd say that's an understatement. And for the record, I'm not scared of water."

"Is the great Axel scared of anything?" She asked, teasing even as her small frame shivered.

His gaze fled to the ground, where his fingers played with a blade of grass. _She still doesn't know?_

"…I'm afraid of losing you," he whispered.

Xion blinked, pushing a clump of wet hair behind her ear. "You know more than anyone I can't stay."

Axel singed the grass next to his hand, cursing himself. This whole thing had been to make her happy, not have her feeling depressed again.

"Why do you have to talk like that?" He asked, a hint of anger in his voice. "I don't care if it's true. That doesn't matter right now, not to me."

"But-"

Axel took her hand before she could protest, and they went soaring into the air again, this time with only a gentle wind where the sound of laughter had been. Stars hung suspended all around them: the true ones in the sky, the mirages reflected in the ocean below. _And what's the difference, if we can't reach either?_ On an impulse, Axel reached for Xion's other hand as well, linking them in a full circle.

"Look at me."

Xion's eyes gravitated towards his, pulled by the energy of his voice.

"Why won't you at least try to be happy? Even if we don't have hearts, it's never stopped you before."

Those beautiful eyes were torn away again. "It's wrong for me to be here." She shook her head slowly. "I don't want to make you go through all this trouble to make me feel better when I'm going to have to leave you."

"Who says you're making me?" Axel's hands gripped hers more tightly. "If you weren't a replica, if you didn't have to leave, would this be okay?"

"I think… It would be more than okay." Xion frowned sadly. Thinking about what _could _be only made reality seem even worse. "But it's just-"

Axel broke the circle to hold a finger to her lips. She froze, startled by the thin point of warmth. "No more buts. You're my best friend, got it memorized? I don't care what anyone else says. I don't care that you're a replica. You're _you,_ Xion. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Xion wrapped her hand lightly around the one Axel held to her lips and moved it her side. _Why do you always make me feel so… special? _She didn't know if that was the right word; she couldn't explain how she felt. If she felt at all. _What did I do to deserve a best friend like you?_ "You're the best friend anyone could wish for, Axel. But-"

Warm arms enveloped her, silencing her voice as Axel pulled her close to him. The heat melted all objections and scattered them like ashes.

"I know you're just beating yourself up. Stop it." Axel wasn't sure what he was doing, why he suddenly felt like he just had to hold her and make sure she was real, make sure she wasn't going to fade or flee right then and there. "Whatever happens, I'll protect you for as long as I can. That's a promise." He found himself shivering as much as she had been earlier. His voice dropped to a whisper. "But when you have to go… I'll let you." The words stung his throat. _That doesn't mean I won't bring you back. Maybe that's selfish of me, but I couldn't live with myself if I just let you get yourself killed._ "But you don't have to go now. You're the most selfless person I know, Xion. Just this once, think about yourself." He relaxed his arms enough for her to lift her head and look up at him.

"What. Do. You. _Want._ To. Do?"

Xion dropped her forehead back onto Axel's chest, finding comfort in his unusual closeness. "I want things to stay like this, forever." _How does he do that? Make me feel like everything will be okay?_ "But I also want to do what's right."

Axel sighed. "You're way too good to be friends with me, you know that?" _One good thing in the middle of this big mess, and fate has the nerve to try and take her away from me. Go figure. Well, I'm not going to make it easy._

Xion didn't object for once, just floated there, surrounded by Axel's warmth. The scent of summer and sea and cinders wreathed around her. She felt so _perfect,_ so truly happy, with him holding her, and she was terrified of leaving him, leaving her one brief moment of sanctuary.

_If I don't have emotions, someone has a lot of explaining to do. _Her feelings felt so real that confusion overwhelmed her. _Why? Why?_

Axel brushed her still-damp hair away from her face. He used his powers to dry the seawater that clung to her head, only to touch wet droplets that cascaded down under her eyes and soaked through his glove. He stared at her for a long moment before realization broke through.

"Xion… You're crying." He wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"That's what-" She sniveled, "-this is called? I feel like I'm-" Another sniff, "-overflowing."

"I knew it," he said, and Xion looked up. "You need a heart to cry. Replica or not, you have one." His grin widened into a true smile, softening his whole face. "Hearts never completely disappear, so you can't disappear. Not forever."

Xion slid her arm out from under his, reaching for his face. A thin finger wiped something from his cheek. Her face lit up like a sunrise.

"You're not so empty either, Axel."

He saw the glimmer of stars reflected in the tiny orb balanced on the tip of her finger. A laugh trickled out from his lips.

"I don't know how you did it, but you've rubbed off on me." He let the tears fall freely, feeling like an idiot but embracing that at the same time. _I guess that's just the paradox of having a heart. But then again, haven't I felt like letting this out for a while now? When did it start?_

_Do I even care?_

Xion laughed, making Axel's heart, or whatever passed for it, leap.

"There she is. There's the Xion I like to see." Smiling, laughing, not running from him. But there was still something he had to ask, which he hoped wouldn't drive her farther away again. "Will you make me a promise?"

Her laughter dried up, but much to Axel's relief, the smile stayed. "Anything, as long as it's possible for me to keep."

"Just stay with me for as long as you can. That's all I want."

"I can't say how long that will be, but I promise." She beamed at him, grateful for an excuse to stay, even if it couldn't last.

"Thank you." Axel gave her one last squeeze before releasing her from the hug, but Xion immediately took one of his hands again.

"Thank you, for showing me how to fly. Thank you for everything, actually. I'm glad I didn't leave."

Axel smiled. "We could do something like this every night, if you're not too tired."

Xion shoved him playfully. "_You're_ the one who always wants to sleep. But that sounds like a great idea."

"Good, 'cause there's still lots of things I haven't shown you. Like…" He grinned at her curious expression.

"Like what?"

"Hm, maybe I'll leave it a surprise." He tapped his chin, grinning mischievously.

"Axel!"

"Oh fine, I'll tell you…" He suddenly slid his hand from hers. "If you can catch me!"

It was a childish game, something only people with hearts would participate in, but he didn't care. It would be nice to have her chasing after _him_ for a change, even though he knew it would end quickly. She was much more skilled at flying than he was.

Xion's surprise gave him a head start, letting him drop about twenty feet and fly out towards the open ocean before she recognized the challenge and took off after him. She zigzagged through the air, trailing chiming laughter. Cutting him off and circling around him, she left the sound ringing in his ears before she charged. Axel didn't try to dodge, just held his arms out to his sides and turned the impact into another embrace as he was knocked backwards.

"You can't stay away, can you?" Axel teased once they came to a stop.

Xion blushed, but rolled her eyes to cover it. Something told her it wasn't very convincing. Maybe it was the fact that she made no move to retreat from him.

"I caught you," she said.

"I'm pretty sure _I _caught _you._" He ruffled her hair.

Xion sighed. "Are you not going to tell me, then?"

"Don't worry, I was going to tell you anyway." _Because I can't stand to make you sad._ "There's this place I know that's covered in snow." Her expression told him she didn't know what that was, so he explained, "Snow's cold, fluffy stuff that you can do all sorts of things with."

"What kinds of things?" Xion asked eagerly.

"Well I guess you'll just have to wait until tomorrow and find out." A sly grin tweaked Axel's lips.

"I guess I'll have to, then." Her natural curiosity would hold her there, which was probably what Axel was counting on. "Want to fly some more?"

Axel smiled. _We've still got time. _And he wasn't going to waste any of it.

"I want to do whatever you want to do."


	2. Angels In Flight

Axel held out an arm between Xion and the dark corridor, a silent but effective gesture for her to wait.

"Axel?" Her voice was soft, not wanting to wake any other members or draw the attention of those who might be up for whatever reason.

"Before we go, I think we need to have a few rules," Axel said, and Xion stared back in confusion.

"Like what?"

"You can't depress yourself by worrying or talking about running away. We went over that last night. And if there's anything you absolutely don't want to do, I won't make you. Got it memorized?"

Xion nodded, smiling. _No point in worrying now, anyway. Even if this is my last night. _She didn't know when she would have to leave, but worrying wouldn't change anything.

"Yeah, I got it memorized," she replied, mimicking his signature smug grin.

Axel laughed, ruffling her hair. "Stealing my catchphrase now? What'll you steal next?" He leaned down and whispered teasingly in her ear, "My heart?"

Those two words shocked Xion out of her senses, considering she'd been the one to imply that he had a heart in the first place. But she saw his laughing, sparkling eyes, wanting to see how she would respond.

So she cracked a grin. "Well, then you can have mine."

For once the master of wit was thrown for a loop, if only for a moment. Xion had a second's glimpse at his broken guard before he took her hand and pulled her towards the portal.

"I might just take you up on that offer; I'm sure your heart is a lot better than mine. But do you want to hang out in this boring room all night? Come on."

XXX

"Well well well!" Xigbar dropped to the floor with barely a sound after the corridor closed, taking a bite out of his donut. "Flamesilocks and Poppet? Somebody's gotta be kidding me!" He chuckled darkly. "And from what I can clearly see about Kiddo's 'feelings'… Looks like I'm living in a soap opera waiting to happen."

His amber eye glinted in the light of Kingdom Hearts that filtered through the window.

"But that'll just make operations more fun for me."

XXX

Xion yelped, her boot sinking into something soft and cold as she stepped out of the corridor. She lost her balance and fell face-first into the fluffy substance.

Axel couldn't hold back a laugh, pulling her to her feet. "Looks like you're having fun already."

"I-it's c-c-cold!" Xion folded her arms, rubbing her hands on them for warmth.

"And you're standing next to the living heater." Axel rolled his eyes, but the grin on his face stayed as he put his arm loosely around Xion's shoulders. She thawed instantly, relaxing against him, which only made him grin wider.

"Xion?"

"Hm?" She looked up at him.

"I haven't even warmed up yet."

An uncomfortable heat reached her cheeks. "Oh." He laughed and the heat spread, but she couldn't tell if it was him actually heating up or just her growing embarrassment.

"Well, I mean, you're always warm and stuff, right?"

"Not when I'm trying not to melt the snow. Got it memorized?" Though it did make him wonder, did she like being close to him for a reason other than his warmth?

"You're always warm to me," Xion said, her breath making small clouds of steam. "See? There's smoke coming off of you!" She pointed to the similar wisps that drifted off of Axel.

"You're funny, Xion," he said, shaking his head to stifle more laughter. _I am always a little warmer around her, though, aren't I?_

"Huh? Is that a good thing?"

"Of course it is. I wouldn't want you to be any other way." Axel smiled sincerely, and that did more to warm Xion than his fire did. She returned the smile and finally asked the question she'd been meaning to voice since they arrived.

"So, where are we? You promised you'd tell me once we got here." Xion observed the landscape, hills of snow like rippled icing on a white cake fading into the deep, starry black sky. In the distance to the right, behind where the corridor had been, grew a dense evergreen forest; to the left shined a village with tiny rainbow lights. She thought she caught the faint scent of cinnamon and sugar wafting from that direction.

"And I always keep my promises. We're just outside Christmas Town," Axel replied, pointing to the village.

"Christmas?" Xion asked. The word felt strange but pleasant to say.

"It's a holiday," Axel began to explain, then frowned. "But we didn't celebrate it in the Organization because they think it's pointless without a heart. It's one of the best holidays of the year, along with Halloween. At least, when it doesn't get buried under all the commercialization." He was more talking to himself now than Xion, who was staring at him in confusion.

"So what's Christmas about? Why's it so special?"

Axel was happy to enlighten her, sitting down in the snow to tell the tale. Xion sat close enough for his warmth to keep her from shivering. "Back when I was little–" Xion nearly giggled out loud picturing Axel as a small child, "–my mom told me a story about a baby who was the son of God, born to a human woman. His name was Jesus Christ. He spent his whole life helping others, and he atoned for the sins of everyone in all the worlds."

"What does 'atoned' mean?" Xion asked, unfamiliar with the word.

"Basically, he went through the pain everyone feels when they do something wrong, since everyone with a conscience feels guilt, so if they're truly sorry and repent they don't have to worry about it anymore. God will forgive them.

"But even though he performed this sacrifice that nobody else could, many of the people of his world thought he was evil. They thought he was lying about being God's son, so they killed him."

Xion gasped in horror. "That's- that's terrible!" There was no better word she could think of for it. How could anyone do something like that?

Axel nodded, his normally smug face the softest she'd ever seen. "But that's not the end of the story. Three days later he was resurrected, so that one day all of us can be, too. So we can all have a next life, where we can be together. Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birth."

"Oh," Xion said, relieved that there was a happy ending. A perfect ending, she thought. "Do you believe the story is true?"

"Mom never lied," Axel said firmly. It had been a long time since he'd thought of the old tale, but now that he did, the faith he had in it was surprising. _Is it just because I want it so badly?_ No, he honestly trusted it as a fact. Fate, or God, couldn't be so cruel as to leave people without any sort of second chance.

"So… You said Jesus died for everyone, right?" Xion paused, staring at her clasped fingers. "Even… replicas like me?"

Axel placed a hand on top of hers, using the other to tilt her head to look him in the eyes. "If anyone deserves a next life, it's you." That, he believed one hundred percent.

"And Nobodies?"

"Everyone who rights the wrongs they've done." _I've sure made more mistakes than a lot of people. I just hope I can fix them…_

Xion smiled, feeling something like a beam of hope shining down on her. _A next life. _They would be together, forever.

"I wish we could've celebrated Christmas," Xion said wistfully, making a handprint in the snow.

"Why shouldn't we?" Axel stood up, getting an idea. "It might not be the right time of year, but here people are always celebrating. We'll kill two birds with one stone. But first…"

Axel scooped a handful of snow, packed it into a ball, and lobbed it at Xion's shoulder, where it exploded into a cloud of powder. She was confused by the sudden attack until she saw the laughter in his eyes. A game.

_So _this_ is one of the things you can do with snow!_ She gathered a lump of her own, but it fell apart when she threw it at Axel.

"Xion, Xion, Xion." He shook his head in disappointment. "I know you've been deprived of a childhood, but that was pathetic. Here, let me show you how it's done."

He took her hands gently, his thumbs keeping them safely in his palms. She let them go limp, let him use them to sculpt a perfect sphere of the white fluff, which didn't feel so cold with Axel helping her. He brought her hands together, packing the snowball tightly while carefully keeping his temperature in check. It didn't usually take as much effort as it did today…

"It's easy once you practice a few times. Now you try on your own."

Xion reluctantly slipped her hands from his, plunging them back into the frozen powder. This time she took more care to make it round and dense, but it was still a little lumpy. Sparing a second for a mischievous grin, she threw the snowball at Axel's face.

"Oi!" He staggered backwards, steam hissing off of the projectile's remains on his cheek. Then he laughed, wiping it off with the back of his wrist. "I'll give you a seven out of ten on your snowball, nine out of ten on your aim."

"What's it take to get a ten out of ten?" Xion asked, laughing along.

Axel stepped back a few feet, boots crunching in the snow. "Try and hit my zipper from there," he said, flicking the tiny target that rested in front of his chest and flashing a taunting grin. "If you can."

"Easy." Xion bent down to scoop up some more snow, but Axel was quicker. He made his own snowball and launched it at the back of her head while she was distracted, laughing when it left a white crater in the blackness of her hair.

Xion stuck her tongue out, pretending to be mad. "Take this!"

Her snowball flew through the air, purposely off-target.

"Lose your touch, Xion?" Axel mocked, but his pride and breath were knocked out of him when she opened a corridor that sent the snowball straight at the zipper. There was enough force behind the blow to throw him off balance, and he fell into the snow.

Xion giggled happily, running over to her friend. "What were you saying? I couldn't hear you over the sound of me knocking you off your feet."

"Yeah, yeah, rub your small victory in my face, why don't you?" He propped himself up on his elbow.

"I learned how to gloat from the best," Xion teased.

Axel cocked an eyebrow and suddenly pulled her onto the ground next to him, the snow cushioning her fall. She let out a short squeal and glared at him, but he just grinned.

"Who's been swept off their feet now?"

Xion blushed, breaking his gaze by rolling onto her back. "That's why you're the best at gloating."

"I'm not gloating. I'm just making sure my accomplishments are recognized." He relaxed all the way back in the snow again, letting his arms rest at his sides. "And now we're in the perfect position for your next Life Lesson: snow angels."

"Snow angels?" Xion repeated.

"Looks like you got that memorized. Watch and learn." He swept his arms upward through the snow, but he didn't get very far before his fingertips brushed Xion's. Laughing slightly, he scooted away from her. "You need enough space to reach your arms above your head and open and close your legs, like this."

Xion clamped a hand over her mouth to keep a laugh from escaping as she watched Axel flail his limbs like an upside-down turtle.

"Why would people do _that_?" She asked once he stopped.

_Guess it does seem kinda silly if you haven't done it before… _Oh well, she'd want to try soon enough. "Take a look." He took care not to mess up the imprints he had left as he stood up. A skewed snow angel was left behind, lopsided from when he'd moved to get more space.

"Oh, so that's why!" Xion sat up long enough to get a good look, a wide smile forming on her face, then flopped back down and started waving her arms and legs just as wildly. Jumping away from her masterpiece, she admired it. "It does look like an angel, see, there's its wings and cloak," she said excitedly.

Axel folded his arms and smiled, feeling something warmer than his usual fire stirring in his chest. He didn't quite understand what it was… but he was pretty sure he knew who it came from.

"Not all angels have to have wings. Though I do think cloaks are a given."

Xion turned to him, head tilted sideways. "Have you ever seen an angel, Axel?" She didn't have memories to fall back on, but for some reason she could picture white-cloaked girls or boys with feathered wings.

Axel nodded seriously, but a smile played at the corners of his lips. "I have."

"What did it look like?" Xion stared him down, waiting to soak up his answer.

He didn't think about what he was about to say, he just said it. "She was very beautiful, even without wings. Her hair and cloak were black as night, her eyes more deep and blue than the ocean. She had all the grace of an eagle in flight. But the best thing about her was her laugh, a laugh that was so irresistible it made nonexistent hearts sing." Axel paused, waiting for the question he knew would come.

"What did it sound like?" She wanted to be able to picture the angel perfectly in her head, see every detail. _Wait a minute, did he say black hair and cloak, and blue eyes—?_

Suddenly Axel reached out and tickled her sides, causing a bell-like laugh to burst forth.

"Just like that." Axel smiled innocently.

Xion's eyes widened, laughter halting. "But I'm not-"

Axel thought he might be close to placing that earlier feeling. He wrapped his hand around hers. "Snow angels have nothing on you."

_He thinks that highly… of me?_ Xion took that compliment and treasured it in her heart, or whatever she had in place of one. _How does he always know what to say?_

"Well, I think I know an angel, too," she whispered.

Axel raised an eyebrow, hiding his hopeful thought. "Is that so?"

Xion's hair brushed his cloak as she nodded. "He's always there, protecting and watching out for me. When I'm sad he comforts me with kind words or a hug. My questions are no match for his answers. Even when it seems like nothing could ever by okay again, he finds a way to give me hope. He's a true guardian angel." She blinked in surprise at herself, how easily the words had flown out of her mouth. _I guess he rubbed off on me, too._

_Guardian angel's not the easiest job when it comes to you, but you make every second worth it._ "And would this angel also happen to be a redhead, handsome beyond your wildest dreams, and talking to you right now?" Axel whispered back teasingly. He wasn't prepared for her honest response, the one that confirmed his warm feeling.

"All of the above, and more."


	3. Maybe Some Things Are That Simple

One hour, two snowmen, and several snowball fights later, Axel and Xion finally decided to check out Christmas Town.

"I already told you about Christmas' origin, so now it's time you learned how it's celebrated," Axel said, watching Xion gape at the pretty lights and garland hanging from the rooftops of every building. "Which are often completely different."

"Why?" Xion asked, breathing in the scent of warm pecan pie and hot chocolate.

"Like I said, a lot of people forget what it's really about. But that doesn't mean you can't still find some symbolic connections." He pointed to a row of candy canes that hung from a shop's awning. "Those represent shepherds' canes. Jesus is said to be the good shepherd because he gathers everyone together into heaven." He reached up to grab two, unwrapping one for Xion and handing it to her before peeling and taking a bite of his own. "As a bonus, they're also delicious."

Xion giggled and bit off a piece of the curved red-and-white stick, gasping at its strong peppermint flavor. "It's sweet, but not salty."

Axel grinned. "Sea-salt ice cream isn't the only dessert in the worlds," he replied. "My mom used to make the best pies around Christmas…" He trailed off, lost in the memory, and Xion found herself once again wishing she had a mom. The way Axel talked about his, moms were some of the best people in the universe.

"Xion? You awake in there?" Axel came out of his thoughts and waved his hand in front of her face, jolting her out of her own reverie.

"Huh? Oh, I was just wondering what it would be like to have a mom." Her voice was soft but not too sad, more wistful than anything else.

Axel ran his fingers through his hair, looking at the ground. "Well, that's one thing I can't help you with. But if you want, I can take you to a place that sells pies almost like the kind she used to make. I'll pay."

Xion was quickly cheered by the idea of trying a new kind of food, and she beamed at Axel as they headed off down the snow-obscured path. She wished they had more time; there was so much to see, hear, touch, smell – and all in one world! Not to mention that she could've spent an eternity just being with Axel... Where had that thought come from?

She glanced up at his face and saw him relaxed and smiling. He met her gaze for a moment; his hand brushed hers… and then he looked away, retreating. Was he okay? Or did she do something wrong? He didn't say anything, though, so neither did she.

They rounded a corner, avoiding being spotted by a whistling elf, and pressed themselves against a building's brick wall.

"It's so cute!" Xion whispered, struggling to keep her voice low as the tiny man skipped by. "Are they always that happy?"

Axel nodded, grinning at her. "It's all that Christmas spirit. Seems to be working wonders on you, too."

"Hey, we're both happy here, right?" Xion mock-shoved him.

"'Course I am, this is like a vacation! A sleep-deprived vacation, but I'll make up for it later. C'mon, deliciousness is waiting!" He stepped out from behind the corner, but she peered out cautiously before following. "Oh, and don't worry about the elves, they'll look at us weird but they're not suspicious enough to question anything."

Xion smelled the bakery long before she saw it. Cinnamon and spices danced through the air, tickling her nose, and the warm scent of fresh bread made her mouth water. "Are we almost there?"

"Not almost; we're here." He stopped in front of a red-bricked building with a pine-green awning and a sign with a fancy cake on it hanging on the front window. Through the glass, Xion could see rows of delicate pastries and doughy treats on platters, neatly arranged on wooden counters that lined the inside of the bakery.

"Are you just going to stand there and drool over the food, or do you want to actually eat some?"

Xion blushed the color of red velvet cake as she realized she'd had her hands and face pressed against the window, fogging up the glass. Wiping her mouth with the back of her gloved hand, she followed him into the store.

The smell was even more wonderful on the inside. Axel had visited the small bakery a few times, but he didn't absorb everything using all his senses like Xion did until he was there with her. She kept pointing at all the baked goods and asking questions or making comments on their delicious scents or how pretty they were.

When they reached the front counter, Axel was surprised at how the elf at the cash register looked at him. Every other time the redhead had been there, she would raise her eyebrows as if wondering what a dark-clad figure like Axel was doing in _her_ bakery of all places, but she would still serve him because he was a paying customer. Or maybe it was the 'good-will-towards-men' nature of Christmas that would keep her from trying to judge. Axel didn't know. But now, as he was kindly answering Xion's endless questions and stealing glances at her (which she returned when he wasn't looking), he caught a glimpse of the woman-elf smiling sweetly at them in a reflection of the window. Axel knew he didn't have much dignity left after making snow angels, but it was still slightly strange for him, considering his usual reputation. It was a nice change, since most people from other worlds would merely scowl at him, if he showed himself at all.

Not that he cared what they thought. The only opinions that mattered to Axel belonged to two people, one of whom was standing next to him.

"What can I do for such a lovely young couple?" The elf, whose nametag read 'Tina,' greeted them cheerily.

Axel and Xion glanced at each other, wide-eyed, then dropped their gazes to the wooden floor. Awkward laughter trailed out of their mouths, and Axel ruffled his hair.

Xion tapped his arm, whispering shyly, "Are we a 'couple?' "

She had a vague idea of what a 'couple' was, probably from Sora's memories or a dictionary programmed into her data; she didn't know. She _did_ know that a couple were two people, a guy and a girl, who both thought very highly of each other and wanted to be together and keep each other safe. There was a little more to it than that, but the other characteristics were unidentifiable and blurry in her head. She could get a fuzzy image of a couple holding hands if she concentrated really hard.

Axel couldn't help but grin a little. _Does it matter that we're not supposed to have hearts? Somehow we can feel. I can't deny that. And… Well, she's very special to me. _He closed his hand around hers. _I wonder how special I am to her…_

"If you want us to be. Got it memorized?" He winked one shining aqua-green eye.

Xion smiled, blushing, and then noticed Tina again. The elf was beaming as if Christmas had come early, which in a way, it had.

Axel coughed, trying to keep the grin off of his face, but it kept creeping back up on him. _Man, I really am growing a heart. __He already knew it, but it kept surprising him. _Setting aside his pride, he allowed himself to relax as he ordered several desserts, including a heavenly-smelling apple pie similar to his mom's.

"Have a wonderful night!" Tina waved at Axel and Xion as he held the door open for her, letting in a frosty wind.

"Thank you!" Xion called back politely, not waving since her arms were full of treats. "Do you really think we can eat all of these?" She asked Axel, who was carrying the pie with a pound cake balanced on top.

He shrugged, kicking aside a clump of snow. "Probably not. I'm sure no one's gonna complain if we take the leftovers back to the castle."

"So why did you buy so much? That cost, like, three whole elixirs."

"So you can try them all and see which one you like best," Axel replied. "We should find somewhere I can open a corridor without being seen. I know the perfect place for a picnic."

Xion nodded, and they headed for the outskirts of town. "Will we come back?"

"Don't worry; I've still got plenty of plans for us." Axel set the pie and cake down once they reached the Christmas Town sign, stretching out his hand to open a dark corridor, and Xion followed him through.

XXX

"Ta-dah!" Axel dropped the desserts again, gesturing grandly to the small forest clearing that they had arrived in. They weren't far from where their two snowmen still stood, but the cedar, spruce, and pine trees were too dense for them to see through.

"It's so… quiet here," Xion whispered, the soft snow and darkness of the forest absorbing the sound of her voice. She gently laid the neatly-wrapped pastries in the white powder.

"I used to come here after missions sometimes, when I didn't want Saïx to badger me about paperwork. I'd make a little dip in the snow, get a fire going, and take a nap." Axel grinned. "It's more comfortable than lying down on the clocktower."

Xion gave him a light shove, giggling. "All you think about is sleeping!"

Axel pretended to be offended, crossing his arms. "Hey, I'm awake now aren't I? You rank a bit higher than my rest. Even if I pass out fighting Heartless tomorrow," he joked, but Xion frowned.

"Thanks again, Axel," she said sincerely. "But we can go home now, if you're tired. You've already shown me so many things. It's been fun."

"Heh, I was just kidding. No Heartless is a match for me, got it memorized?" Xion couldn't help but laugh as he bragged. "Besides, sleep can wait. Who knows how much time we have left?" Again he almost reached for her hand, but again he backed down, as if she was a timid animal he was afraid of scaring away. He turned to the side so she couldn't see his face. "I don't want to waste a moment of it."

"…Me neither." Not knowing what else to say, her gaze wandered back to the tall, thick evergreen trees that surrounded them, one somewhat shorter one at the edge standing out. She remembered a question she'd meant to ask that had been forgotten in her excitement. "In Christmas Town, why did they decorate the trees?"

"I dunno _why_ exactly," Axel admitted, running a hand through the spikes of his hair. "It's another Christmas tradition." His eyes suddenly lit up.

"You just got an idea, didn't you?" Xion knew that look. "We still have to eat these. They're probably already cold."

Axel rolled his eyes at her. "Xion. Forget something?" He snapped, and flames flickered to life on his fingertips.

"Oh. Right."

Axel opened a corridor, and they walked through into another Christmas adventure.

XXX

"Christmas ornaments?" Xion asked, peering at the array of sparkly orbs and other objects on hooks.

Axel unhooked one that looked like a teddy bear from higher on the rack, holding it down to her eyelevel. "Yep. Pick out a few and we'll hang them on the tree in the clearing. I'll be right back."

"Wait, where are you going?" Xion asked, wary of being alone in a new, if friendly, world. She wasn't sure why it bothered her; she got sent on missions all the time to new worlds that were a hundred times more hostile than this one.

He put the ornament up and ruffled Xion's hair, smirking. "What, can't go a few minutes without me?"

"Of course I can, it's just-"

"Great. I'll be back in time to pay for those." Axel waved quickly and disappeared through the shop door.

Xion sighed. _There's no point trying to stop him when he's set on something. He never did say where he was going…_ She smiled slightly. _Oh well, what's one more surprise?_

"Can I help you with anything, miss?" Xion turned around to see a young elf (at least Xion figured she was younger than Tina; she was a few inches shorter) with a nametag that read 'Holly.' Holly smiled just as brightly as all of the other elves Xion had observed, her nimble hands untangling two ornament hooks as she talked. "Looking for an early-Christmas present for your _friend_, maybe?" The way she said _friend_ gave Xion a strange feeling in her stomach. "You two looked close."

_Christmas present? _Figuring it would bring up too many questions if she asked, she decided to see if she could coax any answers out of the elf by simply chatting.

"Yeah, I'm trying to find an, um, Christmas present. But I'm not exactly sure what to get him." That much was true. What could she get for the person who did so much for her?

"Finding the right gift isn't as important as making sure it comes from in here." Holly set down the hooks and put a dainty hand over her heart, and Xion nearly burst out laughing. She managed to only let out a small snort. Holly frowned anyway. "It's true!" The elf defended, looking hilarious as she put her hands on her hips and glared up at Xion, her bottom lip poking out like that of a child demanding candy.

"No, no, it wasn't that. I just- remembered something, that's all." Xion tried to placate her. "Um, could you help me pick out some ornaments? I think I know what to get him now."

Holly beamed and nodded, pleased that her advice had been helpful, or so she thought. Xion stirred her seashell collection around in her pocket thoughtfully as she listened to the elf go on and on about which ornaments she thought were cute, which lit up or played music, and which were breakable. Eventually Xion decided on buying a sparkly white owl, a piano that played 'Jingle Bells' when she pressed the tiny keys, an adorable tan puppy with a purple bow on its head, a glowing fireplace, and baby Jesus in a manger with two people Holly called Mary and Joseph standing over him. Apparently they were Jesus' parents. She would have to ask Axel about that later.

"Is there any string I can buy?" Xion asked Holly, setting the ornaments by the cash register.

"What color?" Holly walked into a back room to find some.

"Red and purple would be nice," Xion replied, and Holly returned with two balls of her thinnest string usually used to make bows on presents. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome, miss." Holly pressed a few buttons on the register, calculating the cost, and looked up when she heard the door open.

"I told you I'd pay for those," Axel said, walking over to Xion, who rolled her eyes.

"You bought the food. I've got plenty of munny, and since I'm-" _not going to be around much longer, I might as well use it now._ She didn't finish the sentence out loud, not wanting to dwell on it.

Axel could tell what she left unsaid, though. "Don't think like that," he whispered, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Nodding, Xion let the thought go. "I'm still paying for this."

"Suit yourself," Axel relented without argument, mostly because he knew it was true, and stood back. Xion counted out the munny and gave it to Holly, and after thanking each other, they took the ornaments and string and left.

They stepped back into the cold, and instinctively she slipped her free hand into his. He tensed, stopping mid-step.

"Axel, um, did I…" Xion whispered, "did I do something wrong?" She very rarely managed to catch him by surprise. "You're just, um, warm, and my fingers are cold…"

He shook his head quickly. "No, you're fine, Xi. Perfectly fine." He squeezed her hand, and she wondered why his touch suddenly brought a smile to her face. Not that she minded.

"So where did you go?" She asked.

He held a finger to his lips. "It's a surprise!"

"You're full of surprises, Axel." Xion laughed, and he joined in with the beautiful sound.

"You haven't seen anything yet."

XXX

"Keep your eyes closed." Axel's voice led her out of the dark corridor. "Just a second…" He dropped her hand, rushing over to fix something.

Xion heard the sound of unzipping and was tempted to open her eyes, wondering what he could possibly be doing.

"Nope. No peeking."

She shut her eyes more tightly, listening for any clues to what the surprise would be. Axel chuckled at the expression on her face, but he finished the preparations too silently for her to hear anything else.

"Can I look yet?"

"Can't wait to bask in the sight of my awesomeness again?" Xion could hear the grin he couldn't keep out of his voice, which was now coming from behind her. Before she could come up with a retort, Axel wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her to, well, she couldn't see where, but it was only a few steps away. For some reason he felt even warmer than usual, making her want to lean in closer.

_But he's already keeping me warm enough. Is it just because it's freezing out here? But it's kind of—_

He suddenly pulled her down to a sitting position, causing a squeak of surprise to come out of her, but she didn't sink into the snow as she expected. In fact, whatever she landed on felt strangely warm…

"_Now_ you can look." It took all of Axel's effort to keep his strange mix of embarrassment and triumph from showing.

Xion opened her eyes and found that he had laid out all of the pastries, the apple pie, and the pound cake around an orb of fire that floated above the black, smooth surface they had landed on, which appeared to be…

Her gaze whipped towards Axel, who still hadn't removed his arm from her, and she blushed redder than ever as she realized she had accidentally sat down in his lap. Not to mention the fact that since his coat was acting as their picnic blanket, his arms were bare, the short-sleeved black shirt not covering them. The one thought she could actually form clearly was to marvel again at how he didn't shiver even in the below-freezing weather.

"You okay, Xi?" Axel asked, waiting for her reaction, hoping he hadn't made her overly uncomfortable. He hadn't planned on her landing on him, but now that she was there he was reluctant to move.

She realized she'd been staring at him motionlessly, trying to organize her jumbled mess of thoughts in some logical form.

_Why do I feel this way? Can't anything make sense?_ So many things in her life were complicated, shrouded in secrets and the Organization's hidden agendas. This wasn't that kind of mystery, though. It was more a matter of not understanding what her heart was yelling at her. Her face brightened, coming to a sudden realization. _ I'm overthinking this. I'm happy, aren't I?_

"I'm fine. This is perfect, Axel." She smiled, truly meaning it, and relaxed into him. _If neither of us mind, then it's not awkward. That means it's okay. Right?_

He grinned down at her, glad that she wasn't red with embarrassment. _Of course it's perfect. __And now he didn't have to worry about doing something stupid and scaring her off. _"Glad you like it." Xion didn't know if he meant the spread of food he'd arranged or simply being with him. Both were true. "Now let's eat; I'm starving."

Xion's eyebrows knitted together as her hand hovered over the different desserts, unsure of which one to pick first.

"Try this one." Axel hesitantly removed his arm from her shoulders to slice a piece of pie, setting it on a paper plate and handing it to her along with a fork. Xion slid off of his lap and accepted the food and utensil.

_He must have got those while I bought the ornaments, but that's not much of a surprise, and it sounded like he set this up while I had my eyes closed, so… Where did he go?_

Xion took a small bite of the apple pie and her jaw nearly dropped in amazement. She was thankful that it didn't, or she would've risked the sugary goodness spilling out of her mouth. "This is delicious!" She said, shoving a larger bite into her mouth and chewing slowly, savoring the warm, flaky texture of the crust and the hint of cinnamon hiding under the rich flavor of ripe apples.

Axel cut himself a slice of the pie and dug into it with almost as much eagerness. "Don't fill up too fast, there's plenty more to try."

Forcing herself to set down the pie half-eaten, she tried the other desserts one by one. She eventually came to something Axel called a 'turnover' (he laughed when she flipped it around in her hands). It contained a sweet, red jelly that tasted as good as everything else she'd eaten put together.

"That one's strawberry-filled. Heh, I used to pick strawberries every summer, back in-" He paused and shook his head, wondering why the memory had tried to spill out of him. It was just so easy to talk to Xion—she listened with interest to every word he spoke. _It's not like it could hurt to tell her,_ he thought, realizing that he honestly wanted to. "-Radiant Garden. That was… that was my homeworld. But ever since it was taken over by darkness they've called it Hollow Bastion."

Xion's thoughts sparked with curiosity. Why did he trust her with one of his closest-guarded secrets? "Were you there when it happened?" She whispered, unsure if it was okay to ask.

Axel nodded hesitantly. "That was when I became a Nobody."

"I'm sorry." Remembering how he had comforted her, Xion hugged him in a gentle embrace. His body temperature spiked, sending an odd tingle up her arms and down her spine, but she didn't let go. It was a strange but welcome sensation.

_She shouldn't have to worry about me,_ Axel thought while mentally cursing himself, almost shifting away from her. Instead he just smiled sadly and laughed, aware of the highly ironic blush tingeing his face.

"Don't be. You had nothing to do with it," he said, still glad that she cared in spite of his embarrassment. "Besides, if I hadn't become a Nobody, I never would've met you. I'd say that makes it all worth it."

Xion shook her drooping head, still holding Axel in a hug. "I could never replace your heart."

Axel's arms slid around her back. He smiled through his eyes as Xion looked up. "But you already have."

Xion knew no way to reply to that, so she settled for a self-conscious smile, resting the side of her face on his shoulder without really thinking about it.

They sat like that for a while, listening to the sound of silence and each other's slow breathing until Axel spoke up again.

"Are you still hungry?" He asked.

"No, I'm stuffed." She'd tried at least a few bites of everything he'd bought.

"Good, 'cause there's something I've been dying to show you." Grinning in excitement, he helped Xion up and grabbed the ornaments, leading the way to the shorter evergreen tree at the edge of the clearing.

"Oh, we're going to decorate the Christmas tree now!" Xion exclaimed, leaving bootprints in the snow as she followed eagerly behind.

Axel pulled a coil of colored lights out from behind the trunk, careful to keep his other surprises hidden. "These go on first."

"What do they do?" Xion asked, picking up the dangling end of the strand.

"They're lights. They light up." Axel couldn't help the Captain Obvious statement, even though Xion rolled her eyes at him. "Normally you have to plug them into an electrical outlet, but lighting them up shouldn't be a problem for you. Wrap that end around the bottom; I'll get the top."

The task wasn't too difficult, although Xion occasionally tangled her part on the branches and Axel had to toss his end to drape it around the very top since it was just a bit too high for him. Xion was sure to tease him about that, but she didn't have much time to before they were done.

"Was that your surprise?" Xion asked.

Axel grinned slyly. "Maybe. Let's put the ornaments on now."

Xion asked more about the Christmas story, and he explained as they hung the five ornaments. Xion made an effort to take as much time as possible to find the best place for the piano, wanting to hear all of his answers.

"You can put that anywhere, Xion. It doesn't have to be perfect," Axel broke off his explanation to say, and Xion finally hung it on a random branch. "You picked out some interesting ornaments," he commented. "I used to play piano, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's been years, though. I've probably forgotten everything." He shrugged. "Time to put the finishing touch on our tree." Bending down behind the trunk again, he retrieved a five-pointed plastic star.

Xion's eyes widened. "What's that for?"

"It goes at the top of the tree, symbolizing the new star that appeared to lead people to where Jesus was born."

"But if stars are worlds," Xion began, her face scrunching as she thought, "then did a whole new world appear when he was born?"

"Huh," Axel ruffled his hair, thinking. "I guess so. God has the power to do things like that."

"Wow. He sounds amazing." _She hoped she'd get to meet him someday._

Axel nodded in agreement. "He sure does." He looked at the top their Christmas tree. Despite only having a few ornaments, it was quite pretty. "I'm not tall enough to put the star on," he said, remembering how he'd tossed the lights at the top. _Being too short is annoying… I wonder if she feels like this a lot._

Xion frowned. "That could be a problem."

"Hmm…" His eyes flashed with an idea. _Hopefully she won't mind._ "Well, I could lift you up there. If that's okay with you."

"Sure." She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. The pinkness in her face said otherwise.

Axel handed her the star and placed his hands on her waist. Xion shuddered at the touch, thankful he was still wearing gloves but feeling as if flames were tickling her sides, and was immensely glad he couldn't see her flush even redder. Little did she know, he was thinking the very same thing. She gently placed the star on the very tip of the spruce, and he lowered her down. Somehow while looking at their completed tree, he neglected to move his hands.

"Um, Axel…"

He blinded a few times before realizing what she was talking about. "Oh. Sorry." He took his hands from her. So apparently he _could _still do stupid things that made her feel awkward.

"No, it's fine," she said quickly. _It's just you're making me so warm you might catch my coat on fire if we stay like that._ "So… should I light it up now?"

He nodded. "Yeah, go ahead."

Focusing, Xion let loose a blinding flash of light that split into tiny firefly-like specks and flew into each of the colored lightbulbs. A larger orb alighted in the star. All together, they cast the clearing in a soft rainbow glow.

They gasped, eyes glued to their creation in awe. Axel extinguished the distracting glare of the fire he'd left by his coat. His gaze eventually wandered to Xion, smiling at how beautiful she looked with the colors reflecting on her hair and in her eyes.

She felt him watching her and blushed. "This is amazing. Thank you, Axel."

"You're thanking me enough by being here," he replied. "I've got one more surprise for you. Close your eyes."

Remembering last time, Xion did as she was told but sat down in the snow even though it was cold. _Though it wasn't too bad sitting in Axel's lap…_

"Okay, open," he said after a much shorter wait. He sat cross-legged in front of her, grinning and holding out a box about the size of her head wrapped in shiny red paper and topped with a bow.

"Merry Christmas, Xi."

Wide-eyed, she took the box, itching with curiosity. "What do I do with it?"

"There's this thing about boxes. They have stuff in them." Axel grinned in amusement. "It's a present."

"For me? I can open it?"

"Yes, that's generally what you do," he said with a laugh.

Not bothering to roll her eyes, Xion ripped off the wrapping paper and bow and opened the box. Inside were several movies and one hardcover book.

"I know how much you like fairy tales, so I got you a book of them. The movies are the Disney versions since they have happier endings than the originals."

The wind was unexpectedly knocked out of him as Xion threw herself at him in a sudden hug.

"ThankyouAxel!" She squealed in one breath, squeezing him tightly. He couldn't breathe for more than one reason.

"You're welcome, but could you hug a little softer?"

Xion laughed self-consciously, letting him go. "Can we watch some of the movies tomorrow?" She asked eagerly.

"Sure," Axel replied. _If that'll make you stay, I'll do it. Even if I have to suffer through hours of cheesy princess movies._

"Oh! I almost forgot. Close your eyes."

"Why?" Axel asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"It's a surprise! I did it for you."

Shrugging, he obeyed. Working quickly, Xion took ten seashells from her pocket, five pinkish-red and five purple, along with the two bundles of string. She used the pie cutter to cut the lengths she needed (thank goodness Axel had bought that; she'd forgotten to purchase scissors) and tried to thread them through the tiny holes in the shells. Unfortunately, her fingers weren't nimble enough with her gloves on, so she had to remove them. The job was much easier after that, even though the cold made her hands a bit stiff, and she soon had two star-shaped charms. Hiding them behind her back, she told Axel to open his eyes and dug two Challenge Sigils out of her other pocket.

"Can you melt the backs of these a little?" Xion asked.

"Flurry of Dancing Flames, at your service." He smirked and pulled off his gloves so he could get the temperature just right, heating the Nobody emblem-shaped pieces of metal until they glowed brightly.

"Okay, now close your eyes again."

"You'll burn your hands if you try to touch these," Axel pointed out. "What are you trying to do?"

"You'll see." Xion wanted to have a surprise of her own for once. "Hold them like you're going to stick them on something, and I'll move your hands."

"Okay, but be careful." Axel closed his eyes again.

Xion set the two incomplete charms in front of her and reached for Axel's hand. Recoiling from shock when she realized how hot he was, she filled her gloves with snow and put them on. She tried again and managed to guide him to attach the sigils to the charms.

"You can open your eyes for real now," Xion said, taking off her gloves to dump snow out of them. She stuffed them in her pockets since they were now too cold and wet to be useful.

"You sure I don't have to do some other ridiculous thing first?"

"Just look!"

Tired of the suspense, Axel did, and he saw Xion holding a red Wayfinder out to him with one hand, her other holding a purple one. A surprised grin stretched across his face as he took it.

"You remembered the legend I told you about these?"

Xion nodded. _And just a bit from Sora's memories._ "As long as we have them, nothing can separate us forever. I'll have to make one for Roxas later, so all three of us can be together."

Axel wasn't exactly expecting her to mention Roxas at that moment. Of course it made sense for her to make a Wayfinder for him. Both of them wanted to be with their other friend, but that was a different sort of bond. Axel wondered what he would think if he knew about the time he spent alone with Xion. _I can't exactly see that going well… I'd be jealous if the two of them went off without me… __Guilt pricked him, but he couldn't feel bad with Xion looking so happy in front of him._

"Between these Wayfinders and what you told me about God, there's no way we'll have to say goodbye for good," Xion said, her voice brimming with joy.

"Thanks, Xi." Axel took her bare hand, sending a wave of goosebumps up her arm. "It's an awesome Christmas present." _He didn't know how she knew to get him something, but he wasn't about to complain._

"I'm glad you like it. This is the best Christmas ever." Xion smiled at him.

"It's too bad all good things must come to an end," Axel whispered, standing slowly and pulling Xion up with him.

"Yeah…" She mumbled sadly.

"Cheer up, we've still got tomorrow." He tried to be optimistic.

_But how many tomorrows do we have left?_ They both wondered.

"We'd better clean up all this," Axel said, glancing between their Christmas tree and the leftover treats on top of his coat. "Let's corridor the food straight to the fridge. That might be a little less suspicious than us walking in with our arms full of it… Hey, I thought there was more pound cake left than this. You didn't sneak any while my eyes were closed, did you?"

Xion laughed, and Axel was again astounded by how clear and pretty it sounded. Had he really only started noticing it a night ago? "I didn't; did you?"

"No, but maybe I should've. There's only two slices left." Axel corridored it away, confused. "Didn't look like any animals got to it…"

"Weird." Xion made various pastries vanish, glancing around as if the answer would appear out of thin air. Just as she looked up at the lattice of branches between her and the stars overhead, she thought she saw a glimpse of purplish light that flickered out immediately.

"Axel, did you see-" Her sentence was cut off by something falling on her nose. "What's this?" She picked up the tiny bit of plant with two oblong leaves and a cluster of white berries in the center, holding it up for him to see.

"That's – mistletoe…?" Axel looked up too, watching a tiny sprig float down onto Xion's head. He brushed it off. _We've been standing under it this whole time?_ An unfamiliar sensation clenched around where his heart should've been—or was—as he stared back at the girl in front of him. Her eyes sparkled curiously, like glittering sapphires.

_It would be so easy to just… __He shut down that impulse. He couldn't, not when he wasn't sure how she'd react. They'd been having fun, and it seemed like she might actually… but there was so much she said that she probably didn't understand, like about them being a couple… no, he couldn't do that to her. She was his friend._

"Mist-toe?" Xion frowned, and Axel laughed and explained on reflex.

"Mist_le_toe. Got it memorized? It's another part of Christmas."

Xion was still confused, and not just by the strange name. "What do you do with it?"

"It's not what you do _with_ it; it's what you do… Nevermind." Axel tried to drop it.

"What?"

"It's not that important."

"Then why won't you tell me?" Xion sounded like someone had kicked her metaphorical puppy.

Axel mentally smacked himself. _So stupid, digging myself pits like this. _He couldn't just not tell her now. "Fine, it's what you do _under _it."

She glanced at the ceiling of long pine branches above, noticing how the colored lights of the Christmas tree gleamed off of the silver mistletoe berries dotted all over the canopy. "Well, we _are_ under it. What do we do now?"

He knew she would ask that. The problem was, she didn't know what she was asking. "It's kind of hard to explain…"

Xion's expression dimmed, disappointed that she might not get an answer. "Will you try? Please?"

She scooted closer to him, close enough for him to see the Christmas lights reflected in her eyes. _Gah, how am I supposed to tell her no when she looks at me like that?_

"If you promise not to freak out… I can show you."

"Why would I freak out…?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Because."

She first felt a burning hand cupped around her chin and cheek, then Axel's lips pressed against hers. The light contact lasted for barely a second, but the echoes of the invisible fire lasted long afterwards, burning from head to toe until she thought she would burst into a flurry of flames.

Xion knew she would never be cold again.

Axel pulled away with the dorkiest grin she'd ever seen, his arm still around her and his hand still resting on her face. _So __that's__ what a first kiss feels like. __Then he studied her expression, which hadn't yet caught up with her brain._

"Uh- Xi? Are you okay?" Axel shook her gently. "I'm sorry- I tried to tell you-"

Xion finally snapped out of it and was elated to be the one to leave him speechless for once. Standing on her tiptoes, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek and laughed. She didn't quite understand what the simple act meant or why it made her feel tingly and _whole_ inside, but it seemed very special, and only for someone very special.

"I though you said _I _worry too much."

"Heh. Touché." Axel laughed too, pulling her against him in a tight hug. _It can be this easy for us Nobodies? Maybe we do just need to try to feel._

She wrapped her arms around him in return, resting her forehead on his chest. "I just wish this could last forever." Maybe not even forever, but at least a little longer. The weight of having to leave Axel's guarding embrace soon came crashing back down on her. She stared at the Christmas tree's star, pretending like it was one shooting through the sky, one that granted wishes. "I wish I wasn't breaking…"

"You're not broken to me. You never will be. And even if you were to lose a few pieces, I'd be here to put them back into place." They were so close he barely had to lean over to place a soft kiss on her forehead. "Get it memorized."

"Yeah… I will." She felt like she'd been ignited, but without the pain, only the warmth. She couldn't bring herself to argue, to tell him he'd made a promise he couldn't keep.

"And there's something else I need you to get memorized." Axel smiled, prompting Xion to as well.

"What would that be?"

"In people's memories, you can live forever. Don't forget, we'll be together forever…"

"…As long as we remember each other." _You can be such a big sap sometimes, _Xion thought while laughing on the inside. _But you're right. _"So that makes three ways we can stay together, even when we're gone." _Surely everything will turn out okay. We'll always remember each other, right?_

"Yep. And I've got _you _memorized." Axel touched his fingertip to her nose, making her giggle.

A contagious smile shone through Xion's voice.

"And I have you memorized, too."

XXX

"Sheesh, took them long enough." Xigbar opened a corridor from his hiding spot in a tall pine tree. "I don't know if I could stand that much sap any longer."

But it would be worth it. Especially when he finally beat Luxord in a bet.


	4. Whatever Lies Beyond This Morning

**A/N: This takes place on day 352 ('Sunset') right where the last clocktower cutscene ends. You might want to look up the 358/2 Days script and read that first, though this still makes sense without it. It's just nice to get a feel for what's going on.**

"Oh!" Xion exclaimed suddenly, almost dropping her ice cream. "You reminded me- I almost forgot…" She finished off the cold treat quickly, giving herself brainfreeze again, and left the stick poking out of her mouth at an angle as she dug through her pocket.

"Didn't get it memorized?" Axel joked, smirking knowingly.

"What is it?" Roxas asked, glancing at Axel's expression. "Axel, do you know?"

"Just a little surprise me and Xion whipped up," he replied.

"Hold out your hand," Xion instructed, and Roxas did so with his head tilted sideways like an adorable, confused puppy. She dropped the golden-yellow wayfinder into his empty palm and held up her own purple one.

"It's a…" Roxas trailed off as he squinted at the charm, not knowing what he was going to call it. He'd never seen one before. So why did it feel familiar?

"Wayfinder," Axel finished Roxas's sentence, pulling out his own light-red (NOT pink, if anyone was to ask) charm. "There's a legend that as long as friends carry them, they'll always be connected. It was Xion's idea to make them."

Xion smiled modestly, the ice cream stick still sticking out of her mouth. "Axel helped a lot."

"Well, it looks awesome. Thanks, guys." Roxas smiled back at his friends. _I hope the legend's true. It sounds pretty nice._ "When did you have time to make them?"

The question made Xion avert her eyes guiltily. She knew she'd been spending a lot more time with Axel than Roxas lately, and she couldn't deny that the moments with just the two of them were some of the best memories she'd ever had, but at the same time she felt bad for placing her friendship with Axel above her friendship with Roxas. Roxas was the one who introduced her to Axel in the first place, she knew, even though her memories of meeting the two of them blurred into vagueness, and the clearest moments she could recall weren't until the three of them had been together. Still, her mind told her it couldn't be right to forget that Roxas was her friend first. But still… there was just something about the way she liked Axel that was different. He gave her a strange but pleasant feeling that wasn't the same with Roxas.

Axel and Xion exchanged an awkward glance before the redhead waved a hand dismissively.

"They didn't take very long," he said, avoiding Roxas's actual question. "While we were at it, we picked up some movies. Whaddaya say we go back to the castle and watch a few?"

"Movies?" Roxas searched his faulty memory for a definition and came up blank. _And I thought I finally learned enough stuff to stop asking these questions…_

"Axel says they're like pictures that move and tell a story." Xion was happy to explain.

"That sounds like fun, I guess," Roxas agreed skeptically, only because of his friends' enthusiasm and his own curiosity. Frankly, it sounded strange to him. _How does a picture move, anyway? I thought Axel said that they only show stuff frozen in time._

"You'll like them," Axel assured Roxas, standing up. _Well, this should be interesting._

"Come on!" Xion bounced more than stood up, pulling Roxas to his feet as Axel opened the corridor for them to RTC.

_Finally we'll get to spend some time together, all three of us._

XXX

Led by Axel, the trio quietly made their way through the halls of The Castle That Never Was, careful to avoid any doors with lights or noise behind them.

Axel was trying to find the room he'd come across by accident a few years ago, the room with the TV and DVD player where some of the Organization members occasionally went if they were absolutely bored out of their minds. Since the C.O. incident, Axel had only seen Demyx there. Usually everyone else had something better or more useful to do.

"Here we are." The door creaked as Axel pushed it open_. Too bad I didn't remember exactly where it was earlier, or we could've just corridored here. _Wasting time when he didn't know how much was left always left him a little anxious, however well he covered it.

He flicked a lightswitch, revealing a couch identical to those in the Grey Area, a small glass table, and a medium-sized television sitting on a shelf with a DVD player on a similar shelf under it. Roxas and Xion stared at the strange device.

"That's a TV," Axel explained before they could ask. "The movies show up on it when we put the discs in that box. Xion, they're in your room, right?"

Xion nodded. "I'll go get them." She grinned unexpectedly before corridoring away.

_She's so happy today, considering she and Roxas nearly had a fight to the death earlier…_ Axel shivered at the idea of what might have happened if he had found them a second later. _There probably wouldn't have been a 'them' to find._ He lounged on the couch, leaving room for Roxas on one side and Xion on the other, hiding his morbid thoughts flawlessly. _Xemnas would really try to eliminate one of them like that? Saïx must've been in on it too, that backstabbing traitor – _And_ he's the one who had _me_ eliminate traitors– _

"Fancy meeting you here." Xigbar's voice shocked Axel out of his fuming thoughts. Startled, Roxas jumped up and nearly summoned his keyblade out of reflex.

"Oh." Roxas sat down, not realizing he had stood up in the first place.

"Oi, what do you want?" Axel asked, glaring. The grin on Xigbar's face told him that this was not a coincidence.

"Missing a certain member of your trio? Eh." Xigbar's single eye was fixed disconcertingly on Axel as he shrugged. "Just thought I'd come watch some TV, but it looks like it's taken. But since I'm in the neighborhood, might as well deliver a message."

"Message?" Roxas asked, confused as usual and wary from the Axel's hostile reaction.

"That's what I said, didn't I? Apparently you've got a tough mission tomorrow, Kiddo. Lots of jumbo Heartless. And that's straight from the horse's mouth."

"Oh, joy…" Roxas sighed, not bothering to react to being called 'Kiddo' or the rather nonsensical idiom. "I hope none of them are Leechgraves." _You'd think they're trying to get me killed… oh yeah. They are. _He wished the three of them could run away…_ If only we had somewhere to run to._

"Why do you know about Roxas's mission?" Axel asked, suspicious. He doubted Saïx freely gave out the mission arrangements early to other members.

"Heh, wouldn't you like to know." Xigbar winked, or possibly just blinked. It was hard to tell. "I just figured I'd _advise_ him to get some rest. Turn in early, maybe. He'll need all his energy."

"That's not your business," Axel replied. Knowing Xigbar, he had a deeper reason than kindness to 'advise' Roxas.

Xigbar held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Hey, I'm just trying to help. No reason I should let Kiddo be Heartless chow if I can help it."

Axel looked ready to retort, but Roxas spoke up first. "It's fine, Axel. I've been extra tired lately for some reason, so I could use some extra sleep. We can always watch the movie tomorrow, right?" Despite wanting to figure out what the 'movie' thing was and how glad he was to just hang out with Axel and Xion again, he was almost glad for an excuse to go to bed. He didn't blame Xion at all, but fighting her had worn him out even more combined with his weird energy loss. "You guys can still watch it if you really want and tell me if it's any good." He grinned, getting off the couch and opening a corridor. "Tell Xion I went to bed. See you tomorrow."

Axel grinned back easily, hiding his worry. "Yeah, sure. See ya."

Xigbar laughed once Roxas had gone. "Hope I did you a favor, too." Another wink-blink.

"Huh?" It was Axel's turn to sound like an oblivious zombie, caught off-guard. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You think I don't know?" With another chuckle, Xigbar corridored away. The second before he disappeared completely he called out, "Have fun on your date!"

XXX

"Sorry it took so long, I thought I'd go ahead and wash up and put on some pajamas… Axel, are you okay?" Xion stepped out of the corridor clad in a lavender nightshirt and black gym shorts under her unzipped coat, worried at the sight of her friend's flaming-red face: literally, she saw a tiny flare flicker across his forehead. She set the box of movies down on the table and rushed to Axel's side.

"Did something happen? Where's Roxas?" In an attempt to break him out of his trance, she waved a hand in front of his face and could feel more heat radiating from it than ever. _They didn't have a fight or anything, did they?_

Axel jolted back to reality. "I'm… fine. Roxas found out he's got a tough mission tomorrow and went to bed." Xion looked ready to ask more questions, but he interrupted again. "Y'know, getting cleaned up sounds like a good idea. I'll bring back popcorn, too. See you soon." The last thing he saw was her concerned expression before he corridored away.

Xion's disappointment about Roxas leaving was underlayed by something very similar to guilty happiness.

_Am I a bad friend for wanting to just be with Axel sometimes?_

XXX

_Xigbar… How'd he find out? What's he trying to pull?_ Axel wondered as he showered and threw on his coat over a clean black undershirt and pants (there was no way he'd go out in the boxers he normally wore to bed). He'd have to be a fool to think Xigbar honestly wanted him and Xion to be happy.

_He stole our pound cake!_ He realized, wanting to facepalm for not seeing it earlier. _He probably spied on us all last night… Sheesh, that guy has no sense of privacy._ Then he had another idea. _Was he the one dropping mistletoe on us, too? _He could think of no reason in the multiverse for that, but it would explain a lot of things. _ Man, what's going on here? Probably blackmail… but then he would've gotten everything he needed last night. _His skin tingled from the memory of being so close to Xion.

_You know what? Let Xigbar do whatever he wants. I can handle him messing with me, and if he does _anything_ to Xion, well, let's just say he'll find my chakrams somewhere very uncomfortable._

XXX

Axel returned to the TV room with a large bowl of popcorn and a grin plastered to his face. He might as well enjoy his 'date' if that's what it would end up as. _You know what they say, "when life gives you lemons…"_

His expression faded significantly when he saw Xion's melancholy one.

"Hey, what's gotten into you?" He asked, sitting down to her right.

Xion pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, refusing to look up at him. "I'm draining Roxas's energy… It's my fault he's too tired to be here with us." _Roxas was Axel's friend before I was. And of course, he's my friend too. I don't want to hurt either of them, but I am, no matter what I do. How can Axel not hate me for driving him away?_

"Don't blame yourself, Xion. I told you, he's just got a tough mission. And we did have a long day today." He averted his eyes as he set the popcorn down on the table. _Technically it isn't her fault. Xigbar probably would've schemed up an excuse to get him to leave anyway._ "Besides, the no-depressing-thoughts rule from yesterday still applies. That did help us have a better time, right?"

She met his twinkling green eyes and blushed crimson. "I definitely liked yesterday."

Axel lifted the DVDs out of the box, smiling. "Then let's make today just as good. What movie do you want to watch?"

"Hmm…" Xion inspected the array of movie cases, her gaze sliding back and forth across them until it finally settled on one with a girl with the longest hair she'd even seen. "How about that one?" She pointed to it, letting her worries slip to the back of her mind. After all, there wasn't any point fretting over things she couldn't change.

Or more accurately, wasn't ready to change.

"_Tangled_? That's a good one… compared to most princess movies anyway," Axel amended to protect his dignity, getting up to put in the DVD and returning to the couch with the remote. _She couldn't choose The Lion King, or even Mulan, or anything less princess-y? Well, she'll enjoy it, anyway. That's why I bought it for her. And that's what counts. _

"You should try the popcorn. It's good." He stuffed a handful into his mouth.

Xion stared at him like he'd grown a second head, making him wonder for the first time in his life if he should've used better manners. Instead she said incredulously, "You're supposed to _eat_ it?"

Axel cough-laughed, nearly choking on his popcorn while previews played in the background.

"No, I just felt like poisoning myself," he said sarcastically, then grinned. "Yes, you eat it! 'Course, I guess I forgot to tell you that, and it does look a bit weird. Just try it; you'll like it."

"Well, if you say so…" She cautiously plucked a piece from the bowl, grimacing before she dropped it into her mouth. Apparently that pushed one of the right buttons because she suddenly beamed and began devouring more.

"It's salty and fluffy, but a little crunchy too," she said after stopping to swallow.

"I told you you needed to try more new foods." Axel smiled, them pressed play on the remote. "Here we go, it's starting."

Xion laughed, using her powers to turn off the lights. "I thought you said it's easier to watch in the dark?"

"It slipped my mind. At least your element is convenient in times like this."

"Times when we're too lazy to get up and flip a lightswitch?"

"Exactly," Axel replied, then was silent so they could listen to the movie.

XXX

As Flynn went on to describe the story behind the magic flower, Mother Gothel, and Rapunzel, Axel's gaze drifted back to Xion. She was much more interesting for him to watch, her wide sapphire eyes filled with wonder at the strange technology, lips parted slightly to gasp when something unexpected happened, hands scratching at the couch in suspense even when nothing suspenseful was going on.

Axel smiled and placed his hand on her fidgeting one. A tingle shot up her arm, which he mistook for a shiver.

"Hey, you're not cold, are you?" Axel asked.

Xion wrapped her fingers with his, turning to show her pink but smiling face. "No, I'm fine. I don't think you have to worry too much about me getting cold anymore."

Axel smirked, reading her eyes to tell what she meant. He ate some more popcorn and actually looked at the screen when the first song came on.

"_Seven a.m., the usual morning line up…"_

He stifled a chuckle as Xion hummed along.

"…_Sweep again, and by then, it's like seven-fifteen!"_

"I wish I could complete my missions that fast," she stopped to comment.

"We can't all be Luxord," Axel joked, making her laugh, which made him laugh. _Even before I became a Nobody, I don't think anyone could make me laugh the same way she does._

Xion went back to humming, and Axel propped his feet up on the table, his blinks becoming long and slow. It wasn't that he was tired, well, no more than usual. In fact, it was only around eight-thirty, but it was so peaceful… And for all he said about not wanting to waste time sleeping, his body clearly didn't agree with him.

_I could use more evenings like this…_

XXX

"Axel?" Xion let go of his hand to tap his shoulder lightly, pulling him from his half-conscious state.

"Hm?" He peeked out at her from under eyelids that had barely opened.

"_No! Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair is to get out of it. Literally!"_

Axel frowned. _Man, I missed 'Mother Knows Best.' Not that I actually care, I mean…_

"'Mother' is another word for 'mom,' right?"

"Yeah," Axel mumbled in confirmation.

Xion's face scrunched up, confused. "So why does Rapunzel's mom say such mean things to her? I thought moms were supposed to be nice."

Axel smiled at her innocence. "She's not Rapunzel's real mother, remember? She's a bad guy."

"But she doesn't always seem bad. She also said she loved Rapunzel, and the way she said it sounded nice…" Looking up from her clasped hands, Xion met Axel's curious, fully-awake gaze unflinchingly.

"Axel, what's love?"

That question knocked the breath out of Axel more than a blow to the gut.

_I so should have seen this coming, giving her sappy Disney movies…_ He ruffled his hair, giving himself and excuse to look away for a moment. Her eyes stayed trained on him expectantly, completely oblivious to the fact that she was missing the movie. _Poor girl doesn't know what love is… or at least doesn't know the word for it._

"Well, love is… It's…" It took a moment to come up with an accurate definition. "When you want to be with someone forever, and you'd do anything to protect that person." A smile spread across Axel's face despite his (rather unmotivated) efforts to stop it.

"So like best friends?" Xion asked, wondering at the wistful expression on Axel's face.

"Much more than that. When you love someone, you do everything you can to make that person happy, and it hurts you when she – or he," he had to add, "is sad, and you could be doing anything together, even something you wouldn't normally like-" _like watching cheesy Disney princess movies,_ "-and still enjoy yourself just because that person's with you, and she makes me laugh like an idiot, and she makes me feel like I have heart…"

Axel broke off, realizing that for once he had just let himself say what he was thinking without holding anything back. There was a reason he didn't do that before.

_I am turning into the biggest sap in the multiverse. _But he found that he didn't really care. Except now she was looking at him all confused-like, and she scooted closer so that there was barely any space between them…

"Are you- do you mean, I mean…" Xion trailed off hopefully. _That's what I feel like whenever I'm around him… He said I replaced his heart, but did he really mean that I…?_

Axel took a deep breath, sliding an arm behind her waist. He found that he didn't need to bring his face any closer to hers; she had already shortened the gap between them to where they could feel each other's breaths. _Don't think; just say it. It's the truth._

He stared into her deep, unblinking eyes, finding the resolve to say words he'd never said before.

_Well, here goes nothing. Or everything._

"I love you, Xion."

That was the single best thing any Nobody could wish for. And that he could say it truthfully was more than he'd ever dared to hope.

Her smile outshined her flushed face. Everything she didn't have, everything she wasn't, didn't matter. She was loved.

And she could love back.

"I love you too, Axel." She threw her arms around his neck, feeling like happiness might start melting out of her.

Axel felt like a weight he'd never known was there had been lifted off of his chest. "You don't know how amazing it is to hear you say that," he whispered.

"I think I do, actually," she replied with a smile.

Then the loud piano music of "I Have a Dream" started up on the television, startling Xion so much she fell back onto the couch armrest, and the moment ended. But they would keep it in memory for as long as they could.

"Heh, I guess we should finish watching the movie," Axel said, still with an ear-to-ear grin plastered across his face that he probably couldn't even pry off with a crowbar.

"I don't have a clue what's going on now," Xion admitted, eating another handful of popcorn through her similar expression.

Laughing, not at her but just because he could, Axel pressed the rewind button on the remote until it was back to "Mother Knows Best."

"We already saw this part," she pointed out.

"I know."

"Why did you go back to it?"

"I was half-asleep."

Xion giggled and shoved him playfully. "Of course you were!"

"Shh, I'll miss it again. Save all your questions, comments, and/or concerns for later."

XXX

"I still can't believe you have a soft spot for Disney songs," Xion said, chuckling softly and shaking her head in amazement as the song ended.

"Stop talking or you'll miss more of the movie," Axel said to cover his embarrassment. It wasn't _his_ fault they were catchy.

Xion laughed but didn't tease him more. She wanted to see what Rapunzel would do with Flynn. Of course, it was rather difficult to focus with Axel's warm fingers drumming rhythmically on the back of her ungloved hand. She tried to put it in the back of her mind and listen to Rapunzel and Flynn's argument, but it kept drifting up, a tickling sensation that was impossible to ignore. And she honestly didn't want to. Speaking of not wanting to…

"_I didn't want to do this, but here comes the smolder."_

Axel chuckled, dragging her eyes away from their linked hands to his eyes, which led her to the TV screen where Flynn was wearing the single most ridiculous expression she'd ever seen.

Xion burst out laughing.

"That's a sad excuse for a smolder," Axel said, hiding a grin and shaking his head in disappointment.

"And you want me to ask what a better one looks like, right?" Xion looked up expectantly, imitating his smirk.

"You know me. I'd hate to disappoint."

"Go for it." She was curious as to what a 'smolder' was _supposed _to look like.

Axel put on his most charming grin, the one that always gave Xion the feeling that butterflies had infested her stomach and were fluttering around in a chaotic mob, and he cocked one eyebrow. As a finishing touch, he summoned flickers of smoldering flames that danced around his head, reflecting like fireworks in his eyes.

Xion stared. _That definitely is a smolder, fire and all._ She wasn't surprised, considering it _was_ Axel, but still…

…How did he have such a way of making her feel the way she did now, the feeling he called love? Not even Roxas made her feel the same, though she was pretty sure she loved him, too. Most of the criteria fit, with a few exceptions. _Maybe there are different kinds of love? _

"Impressed?" Axel asked, calling off the flames as he wondered how long it would take for her to notice that her jaw had dropped limply.

"Uh, y-yeah," she stuttered, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth to try to hide the fact that it had been wide open. The act failed utterly. "Oh, we're missing the movie again." She didn't actually mind, but it was a decent distraction while she tried to regain some dignity.

"I guess we are." The finger-drumming resumed. "Can you still tell what's going on?"

"I'll figure it out. Besides, it would take all night if we keep rewinding it."

Axel cracked a sly grin. "That wouldn't be such a bad thing."

"_Mother would be so furious."_

"_That's okay! What she doesn't know won't kill her, right?"_

"_Oh my gosh, this would _kill_ her."_

"_This is so fun!"_

"_I am a horrible daughter. I'm going back."_

"_I am never going back! Woo-hoo!"_

"_I am a despicable human being."_

"_Woo-hoo! Best. Day. Ever!"_

_Okay, so Flynn agreed to take Rapunzel, but now she's not sure she can make herself go,_ Xion recapped to herself.

"Why can't she just make up her mind?" Xion muttered to herself, making Axel laugh. "What?"

"She's a lot like you," he replied, grinning. "Can't decide whether to do what she's supposed to do, or what she wants to do." _I guess I can't understand that. I've always done what's best for me. _That was, until he took Roxas and Xion under his metaphorical wing. So far, regardless of the complications that had arisen, he didn't regret his one unselfish act.

"Hmm." Xion's brow furrowed in contemplation as she turned her attention back to the movie, mentally putting herself in Rapunzel's place.

_I wonder what she'll choose,_ Xion and Axel both thought, wondering about two different girls.

XXX

Axel and Xion continued to sit in comfortable almost-silence, which was only broken by the sounds of the movie they were enjoying, though they were enjoying each other's company more. Xion had managed to focus on the movie enough to understand the plot, but she was only half-watching it. It was too hard for her to completely immerse herself in the story since she couldn't let go of the warm feelings Axel's presence gave her, inside and out. He could tell that she was distracted but settled on a satisfied smile instead of a witty comment that might embarrass her.

After all, he was enjoying the moment as well.

"_You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!"_

"Fighting a sword-wielding horse with a frying pan?" Axel snorted. "Try fighting darkness-monsters while using sparkly fairy magic to fly. While wielding pizzas_._"

Xion exploded with laughter, then quieted when she realized how loud the noise sounded compared to the movie. _Do I always sound that silly when I laugh?_ "_Pizzas? _Why were you fighting with _pizzas?_" They were one food she _was_ familiar with, as the Organization had the habit of ordering from the Pizza Hut That Never Was whenever someone (Xigbar) exploded the microwave and/or oven. They didn't seem like prime weapon choices.

"You've never head of joke weapons?" Axel asked, and Xion shook her head. "They're fun to mess around with, even though they're not as powerful as normal ones. Try out casual gear if you want to use one; I think you need a few challenge sigils to get it."

"That sounds like fun. I wonder what mine would be," Xion mused.

Axel shrugged, pointing at the TV. "Who knows, maybe a frying pan," he joked, even though it would probably be something more key-shaped. _Maybe a golf club, or something like that._

Xion laughed, and they drifted into quietude again. Rapunzel and Flynn had just dived into some sort of cave that was filling up with water, and fast. _How are they going to get out of this?_

"_Hey, there's no point. It's pitch black down there."_

"_This is all my fault. She was right, I never should have done this." Rapunzel began to sob. "I'm so… I'm so sorry, Flynn."_

"_Eugene."_

"_What?"_

"_My real name is Eugene Fitzherbert. Someone might as well know."_

"_Hmm. I have magic hair that glows when I sing."_

"_What?"_

"_I have magic hair that glows when I sing! Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine…"_

"Even I'd say magic hair is pretty strange," Axel said, eating more popcorn as Rapunzel's hair lit up on screen.

Xion laughed. He was one to talk; she had no idea how he magically made his hair stay in those gravity-defying spikes. "I could probably make my hair glow if I wanted to. I think it's pretty strange that he would change his name. My name feels like a part of who I am." _If I have any right to a name at all…_ "I wonder why he did that?"

_Names are a part of who we are…_ Axel stared at her intently. _She'll always be Xion. My Xion. I won't let her become part of Sora. _His thoughts changed course unexpectedly. _My name, my old name… is it still a part of who I am?_

He came to a decision, tightening his fingers around hers. "All of us Nobodies got a new name when we joined the Organization." Dropping his voice to a whisper, he met Xion's curious gaze. "My name was Lea."

Her eyes widened. _He would tell me something so connected to his past? Well, I guess he did tell me about Radiant Garden, but still… I didn't even know the other members had different names as somebodies._ "Lea…" She rolled the name around on her tongue, but as much as she tried, she couldn't picture it describing the person beside her.

"I don't see it. You'll always be Axel to me." She smiled a little sadly. "Do you miss your old name?"

Axel shrugged. "Sometimes," he replied vaguely. "But not now. Maybe because 'Lea' had a heart, and for a long time 'Axel' didn't. But's it's kinda funny… Now that I don't feel so empty, I think I like being Axel even more than being Lea. Lea didn't have you."

Xion suddenly took her hand from his, making him blink in surprise in the second he had before she flung her arms around him. "Axel… that means a lot to me."

He was glad she had finally begun to accept compliments without embarrassment or argument. She deserved to get compliments after all of the insults Saïx had inflicted on her, and unknown to Axel, Riku as well.

She tried to say more, but her throat constricted, blocking out the words she wanted to release as tears streamed down her face. _Why can't I stay with him? Why can't I stay? He's done so much for me, and I can't even repay him with that much._

"I-I'm so sorry," she choked out.

Axel sighed in confusion, but hugged her back. _Why's she always trying to apologize? It's not like this mess is her fault. _Xion kept sniffling.

"Hey, don't cry," he whispered soothingly into her ear. "Whatever happens, we're safe tonight. I can't promise anything about the morning, but that's tomorrow. Don't worry right now." How many times did he have to tell her that? Well, he'd keep telling her until she got it memorized.

"You're right," she whispered back, the shuddering cries calming down as he stroked her hair. _He usually is. _"Thank-"

She was stopped by a finger pressed to her lips. "Don't finish that. I should be thanking you."

Xion pulled away in confusion, and Axel took her hand again.

"But- why?"

"I love you. I'm just glad you're here," Axel said simply. "Got it memorized?"

"…Yeah." Xion smiled. "I love you too, Axel."

"And I'll never get tired of hearing that." Axel smiled back, but couldn't help thinking, _How could I ever force her to stay, if that would break her heart?_ He wasn't accustomed to such unselfish thoughts. They only came out around her. _I love her. What am I going to do? One way or another, she'll get hurt. But I'll try to stop it. I won't let so-called 'destiny' take her. Not my Xion. _

With no more words to be found, they returned part of their attention to the movie.

XXX

"_So you're being strangely cryptic as you wrap your magic hair around my injured hand. Agh!"_

"_Sorry. Just don't… Don't freak out."_

"Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine," Xion began to sing along with Rapunzel, having finally memorized the words. "Make the clock reverse; bring back what once was mine.

"Heal what has been hurt; change the fate's design. Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine –

"What once was mine."

Axel had been staring at her in surprise, and he continued to stare once she stopped singing until she looked up at him a little shyly. It was entirely possible that she had felt the strength of his gaze.

"You've been keeping secrets, Xion? I didn't know you could sing so well," he said, making her blush more from pleasure than embarrassment.

"Me neither. I just thought I'd try," she replied, shrugging.

"You should try more often." Axel grinned. _Should've known she could sing, considering how beautiful her voice and laugh are._

"Can you sing?" Other than her own voice and those of the characters in _Tangled_, she'd only heard Demyx sing, and he was rather off-key. Not to mention his voice always got distorted by the bathroom door, since he sang in the shower at a decibel level loud enough to be heard in the next world over.

"Maybe," he said slyly.

Xion's lower lip stuck out in a small (and obviously fake) pout. "Can't you give a straight answer for once?"

"I give plenty of straight answers. Just wait."

And so she did, because she couldn't make Axel tell her anything he didn't want to, and he'd already shared plenty. Though she had no idea why it was such a big deal. _He can be so confusing… _

She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. A laugh bubbled up in his throat.

"Not getting tired already, are you?"

"No. I just like sitting like this." She smiled. Their arms were brushing, sending warm shivers up hers, a strangely pleasant paradox.

It took all Axel's willpower not to pull her even closer, press her against his side and run his fingers through her hair. But he respected her and knew that it was too dangerous to completely give in to his newfound emotions.

"You're not the only one," he whispered, resting his cheek on top of her head.

And they both lost whatever small amount of hope they had of concentrating completely on the movie.

XXX

"_If he's lying, don't come crying… Mother knows best!"_

Despite fighting creepy monsters of darkness on a daily basis, Xion was a little intimidated by Mother Gothel. Maybe it was how the Disney villain messed with Rapunzel's head, made her feel like she wasn't good enough, like she wasn't loved, like she was worthless… Much like Saïx. Suddenly Xion realized that she had been picturing Flynn as Axel.

He felt her flinch when Mother Gothel belted out the last words of the song. "You're not scared, are you?" He asked softly, his mouth close enough to her ear for her to hear clearly.

"N-no!" She objected quickly. She couldn't let Axel think she was scared, especially since she had chosen the movie in the first place_._ "Just- startled." That was halfway true. She'd been listening to Axel's breathing more than the movie, and the loud noise had caught her off-guard.

He quirked an eyebrow.

Well, she had been paying attention just enough to understand one thing.

"I mean, well, she- she's so like, the way she makes Rapunzel feel like she's worthless, it reminds me of…" She paused, looking down at her lap self-consciously, and Axel nodded for her to go on.

"…Reminds me of – Saïx," she whispered the blue-haired Nobody's name almost shamefully.

Axel wasn't surprised, just disappointed that his ex-best friend could be so cruel. Xion had never done anything to him but exist (or non-exist, whatever), so why did he seem to feel so much contempt for her? It wasn't even supposed to be _possible_ for him to actually feel anything. So why would he fake it?

Xion sighed in Axel's moment of silence, pulling away slightly. "I'm probably just crazy."

"No you're not," he assured her, squeezing her hand tightly, as if afraid she would vanish. "You're sweet, and selfless, and perfectly sane. It's Saïx who's crazy. He can't see what I can."

Letting herself be comforted, Xion smiled. "How do you always know the right things to say?"

Axel shrugged, a movement she felt rather than saw. "I just know how you think."

Xion tried to mimic the way he could raise one eyebrow, but she ended up raising both. "Oh really? What am I thinking now?"

"You're thinking about how awesome I am." Axel smirked proudly.

Xion rolled her eyes. "No, I was thinking about what a huge ego you have."

Chuckling at her retort, he flicked her lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, no point pretending it's not true. And it's not polite to insult your pillow."

She turned her head, which she had laid back on his shoulder, up to look at his face. "Do you want me to move?"

"Nah, I'll let it slide," he said with a wave of his hand.

Xion giggled. "For the record, I was thinking about how hard it is to raise just one eyebrow, and how you make it look easy."

"Yes!" He punched the air with an excessive amount of enthusiasm, and she couldn't tell if it was feigned or not. "I knew you were thinking about how awesome I am!"

XXX

By the time they were (somewhat) focused on the movie again, Flynn, Rapunzel, and Maximus (Xion was really confused as to how the horse got there but didn't mention it to Axel) had made it to the kingdom. Xion found her feet swinging back and forth to the music as the two visitors and the normal citizens danced about in the town square.

"Eh?" Axel grunted as she accidentally kicked his leg.

"Sorry," she apologized quickly, trying to still her feet. "I think it's the music, it's making my legs act weird. Demyx's music does the same thing sometimes." Not his singing, which was terrible, but his sitar songs were rather catchy.

Axel laughed as her feet resumed their back-and-forth motion the second she forgot about them.

"Looks like you feel like dancing," he said.

"Dancing? Like what those people are doing?" She pointed to the television.

He nodded, confirming it at the same time her internal dictionary did. "Yeah, like that."

"It does look fun…" She watched them spin and twirl with goofy grins on their faces. _Dizzying, but fun._

Axel pressed the pause button on the remote.

"Huh?" She sat up in confusion, and he took her hand, pulling her to her feet with him. A dark corridor had already opened in a corner of the room, which he gestured towards with a flourish of his other hand, grinning cheesily.

"Would you join me for a dance, m'lady?"


	5. wonK uoY nahT noitceffA eroM deeN I

"Do you know how to dance?" Xion's curious gaze followed Axel as he fiddled with a battery-powered boombox that was sitting on the floor of the Beast's Castle's ballroom. _Where did he get that, anyway?_ The device didn't look like something he would own, with its neon-blue color covered with bright purple music notes. Maybe he borrowed it from Demyx.

"Good enough," he assured her. "My older sister took ballroom dancing for a while and made me help her practice. Not that I wanted to." She'd better get that memorized; he hadn't lost _that _much of his dignity (yet, anyway). Alexa had always been as stubborn as Lea, if not more so, and she usually got her way.

_Like that time she convinced me to get Mom's birthday present and told me she wanted a cat, and then I caught one of the town strays for her, and it scratched my face so bad I looked like Saïx for a while… Man, I haven't thought about stuff like that in years._

Xion's expression fell, staring at her toes as she laced her fingers in front of her. "So you don't like dancing?" She knew Axel would do whatever she wanted to do, but she wanted him to have fun, too.

Axel shot her a sly grin. "I never said that, did I? I just didn't want to dance with my _sister_. Most brothers don't." He turned back to the music playing device, taking a disc out of the case lying next to it.

"Roxas is kind of like my brother," Xion mused to herself. He fit a lot of the criteria in her internal dictionary, anyway. "A sister is like a girl brother, right?"

Axel laughed at the way she worded the question. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I wonder what it's like to have a sister." She stared out of the huge window that made up the back wall as if somewhere out there she had a sister looking for her. It was a silly thing to imagine, really, but a family sounded wonderful to a replica who had been created, born without parents or siblings.

"They can be annoying sometimes, but they're fun to annoy back." He shrugged and grinned, remembering how much trouble he, his two older sisters, one older brother, one little sister, and two little brothers had gotten into. "But they help you sometimes, and you help them too. That's just the way it works."

"That sounds nice..." Xion smiled wistfully. "So… you don't mind dancing…?"

Axel picked up on the unspoken 'with me' that hung at the end of her question.

"'Course I don't mind." Besides, now they didn't have to pretend to pay attention to a movie when they both wanted to focus on each other. Not that he didn't like just sitting there next to her, wondering if the faint thumping he thought he could hear was really her heartbeat – or maybe even his own? – or if he was only imagining things. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced it was real.

"You're not just saying that to make me happy, are you?" Xion asked. He'd already watched most of the movie she'd picked out even though it didn't seem like his favorite. But then again, he seemed to enjoy some parts of it anyway… maybe he just didn't want to admit that he liked fairy tales, even though he was excellent at making up ones for her. _He can be so confusing sometimes. _She wondered if he was like that on purpose.

Axel sighed, standing up to walk over and place his hands on her shoulders. "What'll it take for you to believe that I just like being with you?"

Averting her eyes, Xion flushed pink. "I believe you, I just…"

"You don't believe in yourself enough." Not exactly what she was going to say, but it was close enough. "You've gotta stop being so hard on yourself. I love you." His tone was firm but not unkind, the way he spoke when he needed her to get something important memorized. "Do you want to dance or not?"

"I do," Xion replied, shoving her self-pity back into the deep corners of her heart again. _It's not doing either of us any good. Do I want him not to like me?_ Part of her said yes – then he wouldn't try so hard to keep her in the Organization. The other, bigger part, couldn't bear the thought of leaving him and was overflowing with joy that he cared enough to want her to stay. How much easier would it be for him to just let her go?

Axel inserted the disk into the CD player. "Good, 'cause I'd hate for those two months of involuntary dance lessons to have been wasted." A light, gliding piano melody played from the surprisingly decent sound system as Axel pressed a button, and he quickly returned to Xion. He entwined the fingers of his left hand with her right, placing his other gently on her waist.

She stood there, frozen despite the comfortable waves of heat flowing from where they touched.

"I thought you were going to teach me first!" She protested, utterly terrified of making a fool of herself. The dances in _Tangled_ looked so complicated; she was sure she'd end up faceplanting on the hard floor.

"Nah, I figured we'd wing it," he replied calmly, despite feeling the slightest twinge of nervousness himself. He'd never danced with an actual _girl_ before. Alexa didn't count since they were siblings. Plus, that had been about ten years ago. "Your other hand goes on my shoulder."

Her brow furrowed as she reached her arm all the way up to the height of Axel's shoulder. "It would be nice if I was a little taller," she muttered. "Or if you were a little shorter."

Axel chuckled. "But I have such a good view from up here."

Xion barely had time to blush before he pulled her into the simple swaying rhythm of the dance. It wasn't nearly as complex as the ones she had seen, more like stepping side to side in time.

"Are you ready?" Axel asked playfully, sending more warmth as he adjusted his hand on her waist.

"Ready for what?"

"This."

He twirled her away from him, under their linked hands, then used the same momentum to spin them back together. Stumbling, Xion steadied herself by reaching for his shoulder again.

"Not bad," Axel said, stepping right back into rhythm.

Xion snorted. "I almost tripped over my own feet."

"Almost. But you didn't," he pointed out, and the room again fell silent except for the waltz-like melody.

"Does this song have a name?" Xion asked, trying to avoid stepping on Axel's toes.

""Peaceful Hearts." Kinda ironic, I guess." He smiled. "Though not so much anymore."

Xion replied, "I think it's perfect."

"I'm glad you like it. It was one of my old piano songs." Normally his words would've been accompanied by extensive hand gestures, but they were currently occupied with better things.

"You played that? How did it get into that machine, then?" Xion asked, making Axel laugh.

"I couldn't explain the details to you, but basically the sounds were saved onto it so it can be listened to later. Like a movie, only without the pictures," he explained. "Want to spin again?"

"Sure, I'm ready this time."

Axel spun her much more gracefully now that she was prepared, her feet gliding across the floor, connected to those of her reflection in the polished marble. The way her coat billowed out around her gave Axel the image that she was in a flowing black ballgown.

Laughing triumphantly, she twirled all the way back into his arms, giving him a quick hug before falling into the dance again.

"You learn quick," Axel said, noticing how she no longer had to look at her toes to avoid treading on his feet.

She smiled at his compliment. "I have a good teacher."

"Glad you've got that memorized."

"Like you would let me forget," she replied, rolling her eyes and suppressing a laugh.

The piano music ended with a decrescendo and one last soft note as Axel twirled Xion one last time.

"Oh, it's over…" She cast her eyes downwards, but looked up again in confusion when she realized his hands hadn't moved.

He raised an eyebrow. "Is it, now?" The next song on the disc started up, a smooth sequence of three repeated notes that flowed into the background of the main melody. "I'm not about to let you quit on me. We're just getting started."

"Hey, who said I was quitting? I thought the music was over," she defended.

"You thought wrong." Flashing a grin, he swept her back into rhythm.

It was immensely enjoyable for both of them, being together without any awkwardness about how to act or react. Not too close together, not too far apart, just casual talking, listening, gliding to the melody almost as if they were flying in Neverland again. For the moment, they could almost believe that everything would turn out alright.

They were getting pretty good at lying to themselves.

"So what's this song called?" Xion asked, following Axel's movements.

" "At Dusk, I Will Think of You." Fitting, isn't it?" He answered.

"It brings back my best memories," Xion said, closing her eyes to listen to its tranquility. _How does music do that? _

Axel brushed away the locks of hair that had fallen into her face, smiling at her peaceful expression. _Almost like she's dreaming… It feels like I'm dreaming. If I am, I hope I don't wake up any time soon. _

He took that back. _I hope I don't wake up, ever. _

"So what are your best memories?" He asked.

The moments already wove in with the music, so she didn't have to think much to answer his question. "When you and Roxas helped me get my keyblade back… And the time all three of us had an ice cream eating contest, and I won…"

"I'll never be able to live that down." Axel shook his head in self-disappointment. "Sorry, continue."

The corners of Xion's mouth curled up towards her closed eyes. "And all the other times we ate ice cream on the clocktower… And when you told me that you would still be my friend when you found out I'm a replica…" Her smile drooped a little at that, but right afterwards it grew larger than before. "And when we flew in Neverland, and when we played in the snow, and-"

She blushed a fiery shade of scarlet. _Why does it feel so weird to talk about… what happened last night, under the mistletoe? I don't even know what it's called._

"And?" Axel asked, adjusting his grip on her hand, but she didn't reply. "A certain other thing that we did last night, maybe?"

"Yeah…" She mumbled. _I wasn't this awkward about it yesterday! I even gave him a kiss back!_

She blinked a few times in rapid succession. _Wait, is that what it's called?_

"When… When you kissed me." Strangely afraid to meet his eyes, she kept hers closed, relying on him to guide her dancing. "It felt wonderful, but I don't know exactly what it means."

Axel smiled hugely just remembering it. "What do you think it means?"

"Wh-What?" Xion opened her eyes and stared at him.

"What do _you_ think it means?" He repeated. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her; he just wanted to know what she thought first. To make sure he hadn't accidentally misled her last night, and that she did love him in the same way he loved her.

"Well, er, umm… I'm not sure…" Trying to get her feelings and thoughts into words distracted her from dancing, and she stumbled over Axel's foot, falling into him as the song faded out. She laughed awkwardly and tried to regain her footing.

He had other plans. Hugging her closer, Axel leaned down to plant a light kiss on the tip of Xion's nose.

"Did that help you figure it out at all?" He asked through a grin that seemed to be trying to outgrow his face. It was all he could do to keep himself from kissing her again and again, wanting to make up for all of the lost time when he hadn't been able to feel.

Neither of them realized that the next song had started to play, but they subconsciously returned to their dance positions. The new, slightly slower beat sent them gliding across the floor.

"Yeah, I think so," Xion replied, her smile growing to match his, the original burning sensation fading into a pleasant tingle. "Is it… Something you do with someone you love?"

"Looks like you've got it memorized." He twirled her away and back, chuckling. _That makes things a lot less complicated._

"So… can you love more than one person?" She asked unexpectedly.

Axel blanched, nearly tripping over Xion's feet this time. He gulped away the tension in his throat. "Why d'you ask that?"

"I feel like I should love Roxas too-"

He tightened his fingers around hers, his head spinning as nausea overtook him for a moment.

"-but I wouldn't want to, um, kiss him." She wanted to protect Roxas, and she wanted him to be happy, like Axel said people did when they loved each other, but she didn't like him the same way she liked Axel. Only part of the criteria fit, and it confused her.

"Axel? Are you okay?" She tilted her head sideways, hoping she hadn't said something wrong. "Why do you look so pale?"

_Oh. That's what she meant. _He shook himself, letting his spark of jealousy fade. _Man, now I feel like a jerk. Friends aren't supposed to be jealous of each other,_ he told himself. _Could I let go if she really did love someone else more than me? _That would have to be a bridge he'd cross if he got to it. Emphasis on the 'if.'

"Pale? I'm fine." He waved the question away. "What you said about Roxas, well, there are different kinds of love."

She breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Oh, good. So it's okay to love people differently? I'm not being mean to Roxas?"

"Of course not!" He assured her. "Friendship is a type of love, you could say. It isn't always mushy stuff. Kissing, well, that's only for people who love each other as a couple."

Xion laughed. "Like our kind of love?"

Axel took his hand from her waist to ruffle his hair, joining in her laughter awkwardly. _This has gotta be the weirdest conversation I've ever had. _"Yeah, like us."

But he still couldn't kiss her all the time, even though he'd like to_._ They had to have boundaries, or else their emotions might become too much for them. Even the little things felt stronger after being a shell for so long.

Feeling significantly lighter after that exchange, they danced to the music as it shifted to an upbeat, bouncing tune with a generous amount of twirling and spinning involved. Xion picked up the steps quickly, but she couldn't stop herself from getting a bit dizzy.

"You doing alright there, Xion?" Axel spun her again as she bubbled with giddy laughter.

"Yeah, this is fun!" Still laughing, she swayed off balance at the end of the twirl and nearly fell backwards, but he slid his arm farther behind her waist and turned the mistake into a graceful dip.

Well, it was _supposed_ to be graceful. Xion was a featherweight, but Axel was also pretty dizzy just from watching her spin, and they both toppled to the floor. He barely managed to avoid falling on top of her.

They were literally rolling on the floor laughing, still holding hands and clutching their sides, partially because the fall had hurt, mostly because they thought their lungs would explode from roaring so hard.

Xion could barely talk through her spastic giggles. "L-looks like-" more giggling, "-you-you're falling f-for me."

That set off a whole new round a laughter.

"So now you're stealing my cheesy pick-up lines?" Axel rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow and leaning over her.

"Guess I am," she replied, grinning, her hands resting on top of her stomach. "Do you want them back?"

"I do, actually. Might need them to make you laugh some other time."

Xion laughed at that like he knew she would. "I'm sure you have plenty of other ways to do that."

He flashed a mischievous grin. "Maybe it's time I tried one out, then."

With that he began to tickle her, sending ribbons of warmth dancing up her sides.

"Axel!" She gasped between giggles. It felt so strange that she couldn't help it.

"Hmm? What was that?" He grinned, tickling her more, careful not to touch her anywhere, well, awkward.

She reached for the underside of his arms, stretching out her fingers.

"Nice try, I'm not tick-" He howled with laughter as she began to tickle him back, and he accidentally fell over her lap.

It quickly escalated into an all-out tickle war with neither of them gaining the upper hand. Not that they cared about winning; they were just having fun acting like extremely immature somebodies.

Axel found the sensitive spot under Xion's chin and tickled it until she finally resorted to flashing the lights brightly to blind and confuse him. In the moment he recoiled, she slipped away and plopped down on his back, crossing her arms triumphantly. He went limp with laughter, then rolled over to make her fall off.

She lost her balance and ended up hitting her head against the smooth floor with a _thud._

"Xion?" Worry crept into Axel's voice as he quickly shook her. The slow background music could be heard clearly without their echoing laughter.

"I'm okay." She sat up, rubbing the back of her head and smiling. "Heartless have hit me way harder than that."

Axel chuckled in relief. "I guess I worry about you a little too much sometimes." He sat down beside her and smiled in spite of himself. "I hope no one else saw that. We must've looked silly." _A freaking blackmail jackpot._ But he couldn't deny that letting himself act childish was fun.

"Nobody's here." She giggled a bit at the accidental pun.

"Heh. You're right." _Xigbar's made me paranoid. He shouldn't be able to follow us here; he definitely wasn't in the same room as us when we were watching _Tangled. Still, he glanced up at the balconies lining the round walls. They were empty, as far as her could see, anyway.

Xion tilted her head slightly to concentrate on the music. "This song's pretty, but a little sad, too," she commented. "What's its name?"

" "The Other Promise," " Axel replied. "It's not exactly a dancing song, but we can make it one, if you want."

She nodded, and he helped her to her feet. In no time they were again swaying with the music.

They were silent for a long time, bathed in the aura the somber notes created as they rose to a higher and higher pitch. The melody and harmony, bass clef and treble, melded into a song that longed for the two to complete it with their dance, which consisted mainly of stepping back and forth. They only twirled at the crescendos. Xion was glad about spinning less; she didn't want to be any dizzier than she already was.

"Something on your mind, Xion?" Axel asked, noting how her eyebrows were drawn together.

_When isn't there?_ She sighed. _It's the song. I can't help remembering things I'd rather forget._ "Just the usual."

Axel sighed as well. It always came back to that. "Do you want to get it off your chest again?"

"I thought you didn't want me to think like that?" Her voice was as confused as she felt.

"I don't. But I do want you to feel better, and, well, you need to think for yourself, too. I can't force you to think the way I do." He wished they didn't think so differently sometimes, but that was part of what made him love her.

"Okay then, um…" She fingered the edge of his hood as her mind blanked. _What do I say that hasn't already been said?_

Axel couldn't stop a wry smile from showing on his face. "Now that I asked, you don't know what to say." He felt a tiny bit of pride at his success.

"Yeah." She laughed softly. "I'm not so good at thinking for myself."

"You will be, when you need to be." He was sure of that. She could be stubborn when she wanted to. "You just don't need to yet."

She smiled as he twirled her. "And there's no point rushing ahead. Right?"

"Exactly."

Xion let the whispers of thoughts not fully formed dissolve, losing herself once more in the music and letting Axel find her. The edges of their coats swished across the polished marble, adding an ethereal wind-like sound that increased the feeling that they were flying.

Xion breathed in deeply, letting her lungs fill along with her heart. Masking the mustiness of the disused ballroom, Axel's warm scent went in and out of her with every breath. His arm slid securely behind her back as he dipped her low, her black locks nearly brushing the floor, and for a moment it felt like she was suspended in time and space, anchored only by his touch.

Xion dimmed the chandelier's light on instinct so that the only illumination came from the glow of the crescent moon through the thick clouds. _It's like we took the night sky inside… But it's missing something important._

Pinpricks of light scattered themselves throughout the room at her command, like dust particles caught in a sunbeam swirling around the dancing couple as they swam through the sea of stars.

"Beautiful." Axel smiled, which was a light in itself, seeing the angelic glow that the lights cast on Xion's eyes. They sparkled on the surface like clear sapphire pools, and underneath they were just as deep.

"They look like stars, don't they?" Xion took her hand from Axel's shoulder to stir the lights into a small, bright swirl.

"Yes, but I wasn't talking about the lights," he replied, one of them passing in front of his emerald eyes and igniting them for a moment.

Xion's stars brightened as she blushed, but Axel could've seen the pink in her cheeks even without the extra light. He swept away the hair that she had let fall into her face to conceal the color and pushed it behind her ear.

"My star is brighter," he whispered, feeling a tugging inside his chest, like his heart wanted to reach out and join hers. And right then he had an impulse without any meddlers dropping mistletoe on him.

Pulling her close, he brought his lips towards hers.

The lights whirled into a spiraling galaxy as they connected. She kissed him back, gently and innocently, tasting a hint of mint mixed with popcorn on his breath.

Axel hadn't expected her to return the kiss since the last one had only lasted a split-second, and he was so caught by surprise that he froze, leaving her there with her lips pressed against his before he relaxed and closed his eyes. Her touch left his face tingling with pleasant goosebumps, and he felt a shiver, completely foreign to him, run down his spine. He smiled into the kiss, moving both sets of lips at once.

_I am the single luckiest Nobody in the universe._

His heart sang so loud he was sure she could hear it. When they kissed the first time, it was perfect, but this… Axel didn't have a single word fit to describe it, and he was rarely left speechless.

But he was now. That was fine with him; he was too hopelessly, deliriously happy to care.

_If she's my Xion, I'm every inch her Axel._

Somewhere between ten seconds and an eternity later, and still not nearly long enough, Axel mustered up enough self-control to pull away. The music CD had whirred to a stop, leaving only their steady breathing to fill the silence in their illusion of outer space. The whirlwind of lights came to a standstill.

And for that moment the universe was theirs.


	6. The Future Goes On To Everywhere

Xigbar's golden eyes glowed faintly in the now-dark ballroom as Axel and Xion left through a dark corridor. Turning the video camera off, he stood up from where he had been crouched behind the balcony railing, out of sight.

"So good things _do_ come to those who wait." He grinned evilly. "Flamislocks managed to man up without my help, even if it was just for ten seconds."

He sighed dramatically. "Think of all the damage I could've done if they went on any longer… Still, this might be the best blackmail I've ever caught. It'll be plenty of proof to Pokerface at least."

Chuckling, he used his power over space to track where the couple's corridor had opened up. Back in the TV room, of course. It had paid off to bug that place when he found out about the movies. They were really making everything too easy for him.

XXX

Axel stole the last gallon of milk (the only drink other than water that was kept in regular stock) and some of their leftover desserts from the kitchen before he and Xion resumed watching _Tangled._ They hung their coats over the side of the couch, settled back onto it, and quenched their hunger and thirst.

"Ready to start the movie?" Axel asked, sipping on his milk. He licked away the milk mustache left behind.

Xion giggled, making a milk mustache of her own and stroking her chin. "Look, I'm Luxord!"

Axel laughed. "Heh, now you just need to make some off-the-wall chess or poker references."

"Uh…" She tried to think of one but came up blank. Oh wait, there was a pun for that. She grinned. "No dice."

"There you go!" Axel ruffled her hair.

She wiped off the milk mustache on the back of her hand. "Okay, you can press play now. Let's get this game started, or something."

The joke was lame and Xion knew it, but Axel laughed anyway as he pressed the play button.

XXX

"I thought someone said everyone was going to the boats?" Xion had no idea why only Flynn and Rapunzel were out on the lake waiting for the lanterns.

"Disney movies usually have some things that don't make sense," Axel replied. _Like all the sentient animals… Of course, there are plenty of worlds out there with them, like wherever that weird Scrooge McDuck came from. _The duck that had lived in Radiant Garden was odd, but he gave Lea free ice cream sometimes, so they had been on good terms.

"Oh." She wondered why, but decided to leave it at that. The last of her milk trickled down her throat, and she put the glass down, sliding her now-empty hand into Axel's warm one. He smiled and gave it a gentle squeeze.

_Disney movies might have shallow plots, things that make no sense, and enough sap to make a lifetime supply of maple syrup, but this is worth it. Even though that must make me a sap too._

"I know you don't like me saying it, but… I really want to thank you again, Axel. For everything."

Hearing the sincerity in her voice, Axel couldn't just dismiss her gratitude.

"You're welcome. Thanks for staying with me." It was a simple reply, but he meant it from the bottom of the heart he wasn't supposed to have.

Xion smiled at him. "I don't regret a minute of it."

"Me neither." He was glad she was having a good time, and he could use more happy memories, too.

On the TV screen, lanterns lit up the dusky sky in an array of warm shades of red, orange, pink, and yellow.

"Oh!" Xion laughed. "It looks like the lights I made, but with more colors."

"I liked yours better," Axel whispered, and Xion blushed from the compliment.

They quieted as music began to play.

"_All those days, watching from the windows_

_All those years, outside, looking in_

_All that time, never even knowing _

_Just how blind I've been."_

Xion felt even more like Rapunzel as the girl in the movie sang. _For so long I didn't know it was possible to feel this way, but now I can._ It really was like she had been blind before.

"_Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight_

_Now I'm here, suddenly, I see_

_Standing here_

_It's oh, so clear_

_I'm where I'm meant to be."_

Was she really meant to be there, with Axel? With all her heart she wanted to say, _yes, this is where I belong. __H_e made her feel that way. But the nagging in the back of her mind that she had to return to Sora would never leave.

"_And at last, I see the light _

_And it's like the fog has lifted_

_And at last, I see the light_

_And it's like the sky is new_

_And it's warm and real and bright-"_

_Yes,_ she thought, _warm, real, and bright…_ She leaned her head on Axel's shoulder, and he closed his eyes, smiling.

"-_And the world has somehow shifted…_

_All at once, everything looks different_

_Now that I see you."_

She knew she shouldn't let him change anything; it was better for everyone that she left. _At least, better for everyone but us. What does anyone else care about the fate of a Nobody and a replica, even with hearts? Everyone's just worried about Sora and the keyblade._ She didn't want to be bitter; she shouldn't be. It wasn't anyone but Xemnas's fault. _But still, everything's felt so wonderful since Axel took me flying in Neverland, and it just keeps getting better. Until I have to ruin everything…_

Flynn's part interrupted her pessimistic thoughts.

"_All those days, chasing down a daydream_

_All those years, living in a blur_

_All that time, never truly seeing_

_Things the way they were."_

Axel pondered those words. _Reminds me of when Saïx and I were plotting to take the Organization… It doesn't matter at all anymore. __That felt so long ago, it might as well be a daydream._

"_Now she's here, shining in the starlight_

_Now she's here, suddenly, I know_

_If she's here_

_It's crystal clear_

_I'm where I meant to go."_

Even without any starlight, Xion shined to Axel. Her spirit shimmered in her eyes, which were unfocused but still looking in the general direction of the TV, showing that she was lost in thought. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she refocused her eyes on him. He relished the feeling he got from her attention. _Why didn't I do things like this with her before we knew she would have to leave? We would've had so much more time together… All that time, and we wasted it…_

Rapunzel joined in to sing with Flynn as Axel rested his head on top of Xion's.

"_And at last, I see the light_

_And it's like the fog has lifted_

_And at last, I see the light_

_And it's like the sky is new_

_And it's warm and real and bright_

_And the world has somehow shifted…_

_All at once, everything is different,_

_Now that I see you…_

…_Now that I see you."_

The song ended on a soft note, and Axel expected a peaceful silence to follow. Instead he heard and felt Xion snivel into his shoulder. He paused the movie in alarm.

"Xion?" _She's crying? Why is she crying?_

She tried to stifle her shuddering. "I- I'm okay, I'm fine…"

He felt tears soak through his shirt and wet his shoulder. Just because crying was a huge accomplishment for Nobodies and replicas didn't mean he wanted her to continue. She already proved she had a heart.

"No." He rubbed her back, hoping to soothe her. "Whatever it is, you clearly need to get it out. It hurts to bottle emotions up for too long." _Maybe I've been wrong to ask her to forget about running away. Maybe she's just tried to hide it…_

At that point she broke into full-out sobbing. It hurt Axel to hear her pain, and he hugged her closer, sharing his comforting warmth. A tear of his own fell down his cheek and dropped onto her hair.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry Axel-" She gulped down air before burying her face back into his shoulder. More sobs wracked her body. _Why? Why does this have to happen now? I was doing so good…_ "I kn-know it's a-an odd time t-to thing about-about it-"

She lost control again. Axel was hopelessly lost; she'd never broken down like this in his memory. She was always so strong through every difficult situation, a trait he respected and admired in her. She'd only cried once before, while they were flying, and she pulled herself together quickly that time. Now she showed no sign of stopping.

_What am I supposed to do?_ He knew how to talk her out of beating herself up about things she couldn't change, but that was nothing compared to this. She wasn't even coherent enough to tell him what was wrong.

Axel did the one thing he could come up with. Tucking her head under his chin, he rocked back and forth, trailing his fingers though her hair. More warm water dripped from his eyes and slid down his face to land on Xion's soft hair before sliding down that, too.

_Please don't cry, Xi, I don't know everything… I don't know how to make you feel better if you can't talk to me… Please…_

Slowly but surely, her sobs faded back into sniffling, and then she was silent. Axel breathed a sigh of relief as his own tears dried themselves.

"Do you think you could try again?" He whispered into her ear, still stroking her hair with one hand, the other holding her protectively around her waist. "I'm right here." _He knew she needed to tell him what was wrong, but he hoped it wouldn't make her cry again._

"O-okay, I can do this now." She took a deep breath of Axel's warm scent. _He was right; I have to get this out._ One more breath, just to be safe. "It's just – I want us to stay like this forever, and I know we can't, and just he thought of leaving hurts so much…" She sniffed and wiped her eyes, only to find that Axel's body heat had already dried her tears. "…You've made everything so _complicated,_ but I don't really mind, since it's because I love you…"

What could he say to that? The unselfish part almost wished she wouldn't love him, if it caused her that much pain. Almost. But he still couldn't bear to lose the feeling of her affection.

"…And I never, ever, _ever_ want to have to leave you." She hadn't intended to add the 'you' at the end, but it came unbidden because it was true.

"Then don't." His whisper echoed in her heart.

Saltwater leaked from her eyes again, only kept in check by Axel's steady breathing and the gentleness of his hand on her hair. "But if I don't, I won't be me anymore."

Axel's eyes widened; his breath caught in his throat. "What?"

"If I keep taking Roxas's energy and Sora's memories, I'll become them. And-and Roxas… He'll die." Her voice cracked. "I won't let that happen."

"But I can't let you die either!" Axel yelled, and she flinched. He lowered his voice, letting his fingers trail through her hair again like her black locks were made of quicksilver. "I love you Xion. I'll do anything to save both of you. I promise."

That was the strongest and most difficult oath he ever made. _I've known she's taking Roxas's power, but there's gotta be a way to give it back to him. Balance out the difference, something. My best friend, and the one I love… I can't lose either of them. I can't. I won't._

"Don't make promises you can't keep. I _will_ die. You can either save Roxas, or lose both of us." Tears again flowed freely down her face. "I don't want it to be this way, but there's nothing any of us can do."

_There's always something,_ Axel thought determinedly even though it felt like bits of his heart were breaking off and crumbling into dust. _I _will _find a way. I promised. _He wouldn't take that back even if his life depended on it.

"So what do you want me to do?" Axel tried to keep all of the bitterness out of his voice, but some leaked through.

Xion didn't hold it against him; she knew there was no way he'd take it well. _I thought he'd argue a lot more as it is. _Of course, she didn't know of his plan to bring her back. "Take care of Roxas and make sure he doesn't follow me when I have to leave. Tell him what I am if you have to, but don't tell him he's Sora's Nobody. He's not strong enough to deal with that yet."

_Her last request for me before she dies, and she wants me to take care of our other friend?_

She hugged Axel tightly. "I know you're strong, Axel. He needs your help."

"But I'm not always strong." His voice was even fainter than a whisper. Xion could only hear it because he moved his lips right next to her ear, tickling her skin. "I need you."

She smiled, just barely, and laid a hand on his chest, right over his heart. The faint pulse synchronized with her own. "I'll always be in here. Hearts never fade, remember?" She'd called Axel's speech about being together in their memories 'hokey,' but she really did believe it. "And we'll keep each other memorized."

A slight grin lifted his face as well, and he placed his hand on top of his chest over hers. "And we'll meet in the next life."

He took his Wayfinder from his pocket, and she did the same.

"Our destinies are intertwined," Xion said, running a thumb over the ridges on one of the lavender shells. "Even though you can't save me here, it won't be the end."

Axel nodded. "I promised I'll let you go, but I'll find a way to bring you back." _I'll try to do it before you go back to Sora, but if I have to rip your heart out of him, I will. _"I just hope I can wait that long."

Xion smiled. "Knowing you, I'll be back before I know I'm gone." She wasn't about to tell him it would probably be more difficult than that. It was easier to share the hopeful optimism. "And I don't know much about Sora, but I don't think he's the type to leave me hanging out in his heart longer than necessary."

Axel laughed and almost agreed, but he realized that would open a whole new can of worms. A can of worms with 'C.O.' stamped on the front. She didn't know that he knew Sora, nor did she know many of the other things that had occurred at the other castle. He didn't want to think about that, especially not now, with Xion finally emerging from her cocoon of angst.

_She's so much more beautiful as a butterfly,_ he thought.

"And don't forget, I made a promise too," Xion continued. "I'm not leaving until I have to. Right now-"

"-You don't have to," Axel finished, drawing her into a secure hug.

"Mm-hmm," she hummed into his shirt.

She let Axel hold her for so long that he wondered if she had fallen asleep, but he wasn't about to complain. Once again he was relieved that he had managed to push the right buttons. The soft glow of the television screen saver illuminated her dark hair until he blocked the light from reaching it by pulling her head under his again.

"Hey, Xi? Xion?" He whispered, the only noise that disturbed the silent air.

She replied with a nearly inaudible "Mm?" against his collarbone.

Axel smiled. "You awake enough to finish the movie?"

"Huh?" She blinked a few times. "Oh, yeah." Shifting around so she was facing the television instead of his chest, she paused and blushed. "Um, hey, do you mind if I…"

He stiffened. "Oh, right. Sorry…" _Go figure, she's still a little awkward about staying like this for too long, even after everything else that's happened. Talk about a double-dose of complicated…_ He began to release her from his arms, but she didn't move away, though her face was still flushed.

"Actually I was going to ask if I could – I mean, I'm comfortable here, if I'm not bothering you."

Axel laughed, hugging her around her waist again. _Okay then, maybe not. _"You mean you like this?"

"I – w-well, I mean-" She half-laughed, half-sighed. "Yes. But don't bother teasing me about it; I know you like this too." Sometimes he confused her, but at other times he wasn't quite so complicated. He could be open book to her when he let his façades go, and he was getting better at that.

He didn't bother to argue, though he did laugh. "Well, like you said, it's comfortable."

XXX

"_I'm sorry, everything is fine. There's just something I have to take care of."_

Xion shuddered in Axel's arms when Flynn left Rapunzel alone.

"Something bad's going to happen," she whispered. She could feel it.

He continued to hold her safely. _This part does get a bit suspenseful. Well, it would for her, anyway._ The movie didn't matter to him at all, honestly, but what did matter was being close to Xion, having an excuse to rest his chin on her shoulder and murmur soothing whispers in her ear until she relaxed again.

"_We heard you found somethin'. Somethin' much more valuable than a crown. We want her, instead."_

_Rapunzel saw a shadow approaching._

"_Oh. I was starting to think you ran off with the crown and left me."_

_The shadow split in two._

"_He did."_

Xion gasped and kneaded up a fistful of the edge of Axel's shirt as the two scary men who had once been Flynn's accomplices appeared out of the mist.

"Hey, hey, don't worry," Axel whispered. "It's just a movie."

"R-right." _I shouldn't be scared, I fight Heartless every day, and Axel's right, it's just a movie, but Rapunzel doesn't have a keyblade like I do, but it's just a movie, it's not even real-_

"_What? No, he wouldn't."_

"_See for yourself."_

Her breathing quickened as the men pointed out the receding form of Flynn in a different boat.

"Trust me, it gets better." Axel moved his chin from atop her head to her shoulder and pressed his cheek to hers, managing to distract her from her anxiety through the rest of the scene.

Her cool skin soothed him as well, and he felt a cloud of peaceful drowsiness descend on him as he let his eyelids droop closed.

_And I asked her if __she__ was awake enough to finish the movie…_

XXX

Xion shook like a leaf, pulling Axel from his momentary nap. His eyes shifted slightly under still-shut lids, reluctant to reveal themselves.

"Hmm… Xi?" He whispered sleepily, forgetting their cheeks were still pressed together, his mouth close enough for his words to raise the tiny hairs on her cheek.

"Yeah?" A hint of nervousness crept into her voice. Part of it was fear for Rapunzel and Flynn's fates, part was the small quivers that lingered from his skin touching hers. _It was a good feeling, but she still wasn't completely used to it._

"Are you scared?" He mumbled. She no longer shuddered, but her stillness was unnerving. He couldn't feel her natural breathing. _Definitely good that she didn't pick _Sleeping Beauty. _Maleficent was creepy in that movie_ before _she tried to take over the universe_.

She fidgeted, but Axel was already drifting back into unconsciousness. He barely heard her stutter, "N-no…"

"Mm… wake me… if you get… scared…" He sentence trailed off into a content sigh, and he shifted his chin on her shoulder, leaving his cheek resting against hers and his arms circling her. _I should've taken a longer nap this afternoon…_

She leaned back into his embrace, surrounded by his warm breath, and the steady rise and fall of his chest lulled her into a calm trance.

_If he's not scared, there's no reason for me to be._ Letting her breathing even out, she smiled. _He can even make me feel better when he's half-asleep._

As she went back to watching the movie, the corners of Axel's lips twitched up, creating a smile that matched her own.

XXX

Axel yawned, blinking sleepily. _I shouldn't have let myself just fall asleep on her; I'm supposed to be helping her have a good time. Some help I am._

"You might need to brush your teeth," Xion teased, wrinkling her nose.

"Oi, Xi, when did you get so mean?" He grinned and moved his face away from hers to stretch. She was stunned by the sudden lack of warmth, reaching up to rub her now-cold cheek when he wasn't looking. "I didn't drool on you while I was napping, did I?"

Xion giggled, rubbing her perfectly dry shoulder. "Maybe a little, right there."

He laughed with her and ruffled her hair. "You're looking better now. Feeling alright?"

"Yeah. Lots better." She smiled, reaching for his hand with only slight hesitation. "Thank you. I needed…" She struggled for the right words.

"Me to cheer you up?"

She nodded. "It was getting hard to hold all of that in."

"Well, you don't have to." He squeezed her hand. "That's what I'm here for. Got it memorized?"

Giggling, she began to nod, but she froze with a look of horror as she saw what was on the movie screen.

"Huh-? Oh." Axel winced.

Flynn knelt on the floor, clutching his chest to stop blood from flowing out of the dagger wound Mother Gothel had given him.

_Rapunzel struggled, but she could only manage a frantic __"Mm-mm! Mm…"__under her gag._

"_Now look what you've done, Rapunzel."_

Tears began to leak down Xion's face again, leaving behind wet rivulets that sparkled in the faint light. Axel quickly wiped them away, clinging to her hand like it was his lifeline.

"Don't worry; it gets better. Don't you want to see the end?" Axel whispered.

She nodded, then shook her head. "Yes, but Axel, y-you don't get it."

"What?" He recoiled. _Don't get what? I've seen the movie before, more than once, actually… _

"You s-said Rapunzel was like me, so I – I pictured Flynn as you, and and…" She couldn't believe she was already crying again, but she couldn't stop herself. Realizing her fingernails were digging into his hand, she relaxed her grip, but his stayed tight. "I don't know what I'd do if someone hurt you, especially if it was my fault! You've always been here to help me, and you always know what to do, and I don't-"

Axel surrounded her in a hug, pressing the side of her face into the folds of his shirt. "Don't say that. I know you really well, but I don't know everything. I'm still human – Nobody – whatever it is that I am now – I'm not perfect."

She sniffed, looking up at him with glistening eyes. "You're perfect enough for me."

"I…" He warmed a good ten degrees from that one sentence. Unable to help himself, he kissed her cheek. "Well, you're perfect for me."

His warmth gave her a sunburn blush and a sunbeam smile. _Thank you, but…_ Her grin faltered slightly, though the glow didn't leave. She hoped it wouldn't for a long time. "But I still don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."

"Trust me, you don't have to worry about anything like that." Axel assured her with a squeeze of her hand. "But if you really want to know how you could help me, I'll tell you after the movie." _He frowned when he realized he'd missed Mother Gothel's classic Disney Death._

"Okay. Don't forget." Xion let a smile grace her face again in spite of the tragic scene on the movie.

He grinned. "I got it memorized."

Rapunzel was already kneeling over the dying Flynn, trying to heal him even though her hair had been cut and was now a dark shade of brown. Axel briefly explained what happened while he and Xion had been talking.

"_Look at me, look at me, I'm right here, don't go, stay with me, Eugene – flower gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine – "_

"_Rapunzel."_

"_What?"_

"_You were my new dream."_

_Rapunzel cried at his words. __"And you were mine."_

The last of Flynn's breath exited his lungs, and Xion thought she could feel his heart pass out of him. She made an effort not to show how much it affected her, but Axel scooted closer anyway.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

She let herself lean on him. _My eyes must be broken; it can't be normal for them to leak this much, even with a heart. I guess it must have a lot of sadness to get out._

Rapunzel began to sing softly, caressing Flynn's face. Xion didn't know what good it would do if his heart had already moved on. She was too choked up to sing along.

"_Heal what has been hurt_

_Change the fate's design_

_Save what has been lost_

_Bring back what once was mine…_

_What once… was mine…"_

A crystal tear infused with gold fell from Rapunzel's cheek, not too unlike the ones Xion had tried to hold in, and landed on Flynn's.

Xion fangirl squealed at the resulting scene: The beautiful flowering lights, Flynn's revival, _"Did I ever tell you I've got a thing for brunettes?"_ (Axel said he liked black hair better, of course), when Rapunzel and Flynn kissed. Though, Xion did look away at that last part.

_I mean, I wouldn't want anyone watching Axel and I kiss. That would just be all the flavors of awkward._

Axel laughed. "I told you it would get better."

"Yeah." Xion smiled. "Sorry for getting all, well, worked up about it."

"Nah," he waved a hand, "I've just glad we have feelings so we _can_ get worked up about stuff."

"So…" She trailed a finger across the couch's firm upholstery. "Do you get worked up about stuff?"

His eyes darkened, and she wondered if it wasn't a question she should've asked.

"When you're sad, when you cry…" He trailed off. "It hurts."

Xion blinked at him. "I'm sorry, I must've made you hurt a lot tonight." If there was one thing she hated most, it was causing others pain. Especially since the 'other' in question was her best friend, was Axel.

"Hey don't worry about it. We've had plenty of good times tonight that make up for that, right?" He grinned. "Sometimes you need to cry, and that's okay. But it's easier for me to help you when you can tell me what's wrong. I guess what I really get worked up about… is not knowing how to help you."

"Then you have no reason to get worked up. You've helped me out so much in these last few days." She rubbed at the slightly raw spots under her eyes that she had already rubbed too much. "Oh, that reminds me – you said you'd tell me what you'd want me to do if anything bad happened to you."

Axel wondered the same thing. "I said I'd tell you when the movie's over. Wait just a little bit longer; I think you'll want to see this."

XXX

"_At last, Rapunzel was home, and she finally had a real family. She was a princess worth waiting for. Beloved by all, she led her kingdom with all the grace and wisdom that her parents did before her._

"_And as for me, well, I started going by Eugene again, stopped thieving, and basically turned it all around, but I know what the big question is, hah._

"_Did Rapunzel and I ever get married? Well I am pleased to tell you that after year and years of asking, and asking, and asking…_

"_I finally said yes." _

"_Eugene." _

"_All right, I asked her."_

"_And we're living happily ever after."_

"_Yes, we are."_

"Hey Axel, what does 'married' mean?" Xion asked as the credits rolled. She found her internal dictionary's definition a bit confusing.

Axel made a sound halfway between a laugh, groan, and sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. _I already explained love and kisses in the same day; I am _not_ explaining marriage too._ He could only imagine what awkwardness might result. "I'll tell you some other time." _In a long time, assuming we're still alive. Which I've still got to make plans for. _"Didn't you have a different question to ask?"

Her faint pout turned into an expectant smile as she nodded.

"If anything happened to me…" Axel paused to tap his chin. "I think I'd just want you to be there." He wasn't used to thinking about himself getting hurt. It didn't happen often enough. "You'd figure out what to do if we were actually in a situation like that – you have to use your instincts. But hopefully we'll never have to worry about it."

Realistically, that hope was a fantasy. Their jobs were too dangerous to think they'd always be safe.

"I hope not," Xion agreed and glanced back at the TV, yawning. "I guess we should go to sleep now. It's late."

Axel caught the contagious yawn. "Yeah…" He sighed and got up to get the movie out of the DVD player, corridoring it, their food, and the dirty dishes away. _I wish we didn't get tired so easily, but we _have _stayed out late the last two nights, and today was pretty hectic._

Xion turned the lights back on but stayed seated, drooping slightly. "I didn't realize how tired I was," she mumbled, shaking her head to try and wake herself up enough to stand. _Maybe it was all that emotional stuff that wore me out._

Smiling, Axel put on his coat and wrapped Xion's around her shoulders. "It's been a long day." He lifted her up bridal style after opening another corridor.

"You don't have to… I'm not that tired…" His warmth was relaxing, evaporating her argument as he tended to do so effortlessly. "Well, maybe I am..."

Axel chuckled under his breath. "Don't worry about it. I think you weigh less than my chakrams."

Xion's silvery laugh reverberated in Axel's ears despite its softness. She let herself sink into his arms, where she wouldn't have minded being held even if she wasn't tired. A strange feeling fluttered in her chest as she looked up at his smiling face. The way that smile looked on his lips, how his eyes were lit with his natural fiery personality… it was difficult for Xion to tear her own eyes away from.

_I wish I could just… But I can, can't I? He never said I couldn't. I just haven't tried. And he _did _say that I shouldn't bottle up my feelings so much, right?_

"I hate to ask, but… could you do me one more favor?" She asked hesitantly.

"'Course I can, Xi." He adjusted her in his arms, thankful for his height advantage even though it made her look small.

"Tell me – Tell me if I do this right." Her voice held an almost questioning tone, but Axel didn't have time to wonder why.

Xion threw her arms around his neck, closing her eyes as her lips met his. Her excitement at finally building up enough courage to kiss him without him kissing her first overwrote her nervousness.

Axel's eyes widened in surprise. His thoughts were as paralyzed as if he'd gotten brain freeze, but his feelings took over, and his eyelids slid closed. Her soft, slightly parted lips pressed against his gently, innocently, in a way that was as pure as she was. He kept his thoughts clean and worthy of the untainted display of love, kissing her back the same way.

She savored the feeling of having finally taken a leap of faith, finally made a choice of her own accord to do something spontaneous, something that surprised even herself. The kind of 'something' Axel was always so good at. _Is this the way he feels whenever he does this? This kind of freedom?_

Her whole body tingled from the simple elation that came from the light touch of his lips. Why it was so special, she would never know. It just was. She wasn't about to risk ruining the magic by questioning it.

But eventually, even the most wonderful moments had to end. Xion pulled herself away against her desires, a radiant smile shining on her face, but left her arms around his neck, letting her fingers weave locks of his hair through them.

Axel had half a mind to bring his lips back to hers and begin another kiss, but he controlled the impulse. He wouldn't do that after she had pulled back; it would risk pushing too many buttons. Her cool touch at the top of his neck and through his hair contented him.

"You did that perfectly," he breathed, grinning widely. _Looks like I'm not the only one who knows how to push the right buttons._ "But, if you'd like some more practice anyway, I'd be happy to arrange something for tomorrow night."

Xion laughed, still brushing her fingers through the ends of his hair. _See, that wasn't so hard,_ she told herself. "What kind of something?"

"That's supposed to be your decision, but I can come up with something if you want."

"I'm fine with that. You've probably got a lot more ideas than I do."

"Well, I think we should lay off the Disney movies until I recover from sap-overload, unless you really want to watch another one tomorrow."

"No," she agreed, giggling. "I like it, but let's do something where we can move around more. I'm not used to sitting for so long."

Axel grinned, still excessively happy about having Xion's arms around his neck. "Good, then you'll like my idea. Up for some tree climbing?" He still remembered his favorite magnolia with a treehouse observatory perched among the branches. Getting to it through the maze of climbing branches was the best part.

"Sounds like a plan." She turned and pressed her face into his chest, hugging him. _It was good to have something to look forward to, something to distract her from her worries._

Axel held her closer, if that was possible. "You know I love you, right?"

"I've got it memorized." She smiled, tilting her head back to look up at him.

"That's what I thought. I just needed to say it again," he whispered. Love wasn't something Nobodies took for granted.

Xion slid her hands from behind his neck to cup his smiling face. Covering up his upside-down teardrop markings made his expression seem lighter. "I love you too."

Her hands fell away to rest in her lap as she yawned.

"We better rest up. Don't want to be tired tomorrow, do we?" Axel stepped through the corridor, emerging in Xion's room. He removed her coat and laid her on the bed, pulling the covers back up around her.

"Thank you, Axel, but you didn't have to do all this. I'm not too tired to tuck myself into bed." While she may not have been _that_ tired, her half-lidded eyes showed she was clearly exhausted.

"Let me be chivalrous," he grinned, kneeling by her bedside. "And if you're not that tired, well, I can fix that."

She rolled over to face him, confused, and he grinned wider.

"You wanted to know if I could sing, right?" He cleared his throat to begin the lullaby he still remembered from his childhood.

"_Wake up,"_ odd words to begin a lullaby with, but the soothing, liquid voice Axel used already began to make Xion drift off despite how much she wanted to listen,

"_On your own,_

_And look around you,_

'_Cause you're not alone._

_Release your high hopes,_

_And they'll survive_

'_Cause this is the future,_

_And you are alive."_

Those words gave Xion a dream of somewhere, sometime in the future, separating from Sora again and living her own life, being her own person. _Alive._ Any future where she was alive would be a good one, especially if she could be alive with her friends.

He dropped his voice to a whisper that echoed in her ears and soul.

"_Dive in, and swim away_

_From your loneliness, and miserable days."_

And then, just a little stronger but still quiet, with a burning energy:

"_And when you wake up_

_On your own,_

_Look around you_

'_Cause you're not alone!_

_Let your hopes go,_

_And they'll survive_

'_Cause this is the future, _

_And you are alive!_

_You're headed home."_

His lips met hers one last time as he sang the echo through them and into her heart.

"_You're headed home."_

The final note hung in their shared breath, coaxing a smile from the sleeping Xion.

_She's headed home… __He just hoped her home was here._

As Axel turned to leave, he looked back and saw her ebony hair give off a golden glow.

A/N: The song Axel sings is called "This is the Future" by Owl City.


	7. Beneath the Beautiful Blue Sky

"_You're headed home."_

Xion wished Axel's breath would last longer on her lips, but it faded when the note eventually dissolved from the still air. His warmth stayed, though, filling her with so much light and hope that it overflowed as she drifted into a soft sleep that welcomed her with open arms.

_I'm headed home…_

XXX

Xion lies on top of a small hill, an island in the middle of a sea of emerald grass that ripples like waves in the gentle wind. The dark sapphire sky glitters with all the stars of the universe, all the worlds in existence.

"But what world is this?" Xion asks herself. There is no one else around to ask. "It's so beautiful here…"

No, there _is _someone. She feels Axel's presence on the grass beside her before she hears his voice. "Of course it is. This is your heart."

Her eyes widen, and she rolls onto her side to face him and look into his eyes, eyes that are more emerald than the grass and brighter than the stars. "My… heart?"

Axel nods, propping himself up on his elbow and smiling at her. "Thanks for letting me visit you here. It's much better than my normal dreams."

"My dreams aren't usually this nice. Maybe it's because you're here." She smiles. "But… does that mean I'm dreaming? This isn't real?" The breeze sweeps through her hair and tickles her face, and she feels it as clearly as if she's awake.

"Well…" He reaches for her hand and entwines his fingers with hers. "I'll let you decide that."

She cuddles up to him, and she can see her own blue eyes reflected in his green ones. "I want this to be real, at least until I wake up."

"I'd like that too, if it can't last longer." He rolls onto his back again, staring up at the stars. Xion follows his example and smiles at the night sky, enjoying the warmth flowing between them.

"Oh! Look at that!" She points to a streak of light amid all the stationary ones. "What is it?"

"Shooting star," Axel answers, and she seems more stars plummet after the first. "Make a wish."

It reminds her of the wish she made on the Christmas tree's star in Christmas town. She wonders for a moment why she should wish on a dying world, but she replies, "I wish we could be together forever."

"If only it was as easy as wishing." Axel frowns, keeping a firm grip on her hand. "Do you still want me to let you go?"

Xion's eyebrows crease together. "I've never wanted that, but you'll have to. I can't stay." _We can't dream forever._

The only noise besides their voices was the whisper of wind, but now Xion's ears catch a new noise: a pulsing, dull sound that somehow pierces her core… a sound that grows louder, closer. She doesn't know what it is, but its source is soon clear.

Axel hugs her close as the first star splashes into the emerald grass, which is now a true sea of blue-green waves, and a looming tsunami speeds towards them.

"You want me to abandon you in this?"

The ground below begins to liquefy. Wet tendrils slither up their backs like hungry snakes.

"Xion, you helped me feel again," he whispers, but it crashes down on her ears louder than the chaos of lights hurtling into the ocean, which threatens to engulf them. They begin to sink into the seafoam rising from beneath as the threads of water weave around them. "I can't lose you. I won't let you drown."

His eyes are full of milky turmoil, no longer clear and bright the way she loves to see them. They reflect her own fearful despair.

"Then you'll be lost, too."

The tidal wave crashes in from every side, wiping out the empty sky. Xion splutters but can't reach air— she begins to slip from Axel's arms into the deep—The current is too strong; her coat is weighing her down; her vision blurs…

"No! Xion, hold on! Stay with me!" Axel calls while desperately clinging to her hand, the only part of her that hasn't yet slid out of his grip.

"Axel!" Her voice is terrified. _He can't save me; I can't let him save me…_ Tears are washed away by the tide, and she wonders vaguely how either of them can speak underwater at all. _It's just a dream, it's a dream, right? But I wanted it to be real…_ Well, now it's all too real.

"Don't let go!" Axel's grip cuts off the circulation in her wrist, and her hand begins to go numb. He's being pulled away from her by a different current that whips his hair violently around his face. "Please, please, don't let me go, Xion!"

"I'm so sorry, Axel…" Her fingers slide out of his hand. "You can't save me; please, try to save yourself…"

He reaches out for her hand, and their fingertips brush for a moment before she spirals farther into the abyss.

"But if I lose you, I might as well lose myself…"

She barely hears his words before she fades into the darkness. The last thing she sees is her own terrified face looking back at her.

Except now, it's not her face. It's Sora's.

Xion screams until the black water floods down her throat. Silence.

XXX

The sound of her own, undeniably real shriek woke her. She tumbled out from under the covers, struggling to detangle herself from the suffocating sheets.

The dream wasn't like some that evaporated the moment she opened her eyes. This one still hung around her like an ominous storm cloud that sunlight couldn't filter through.

She stood shakily, steadying herself with her nightstand. Her shivers punctuated the ragged gasps of breath that wracked her body.

_That was something more than a dream…_

Throwing her coat from the day before over her pajamas, she dashed to the bathroom, forgetting that she could open a corridor. She slammed the door behind her and stared into the mirror.

"No…" She closed her eyes, wanting to block out the image of what she saw reflected at her, but it was already seared into her memory. "Have I taken so much of him already?"

Opening her eyes, she touched her – no, Sora's – spiky brown locks. She didn't feel any different, but the texture of her hair and face were foreign when she touched them.

Suddenly she heard pounding footsteps, and she barely had time to pull up her hood before the door was thrown open.

"Xion!" Axel called, and it took all his willpower not to rush up and hug her after the nightmare he'd just woken from. "I thought I heard you scream, and your blankets were all over the floor in your bedroom…" His eyes betrayed his moment of panic.

"There was, er, a spider in my room." Xion was glad her voice still sounded the same, if a little quiet and anxious. "I squashed it, but it got all over my hand, so I had to wash it off." She was amazed at how easily the story came out. Axel had rubbed off on her in some ways that weren't exactly positive… But it was convenient now.

He looked at her a little skeptically, but decided it was best to drop it. _But why is her hood up?_ He didn't ask. _The dream just made me paranoid,_ he tried (unsuccessfully) to convince himself.

"Okay, then," he said, laughing a little in embarrassment. "Sorry for busting in on you. See ya in the Grey Area."

She looked back in the mirror once he left, staring at how Sora's face followed the movements of her expression. It would've been interesting if it wasn't so terrifying.

She pulled her hood back up, shielding her from herself.

"Sorry, Axel. Looks like… our vacation's over…"


	8. Put on the Mask of Destiny

Xigbar took the last DVD out of the computer's disk drive, sliding it into a paper sleeve and stacking it with the other four copies. It was always safest to have backups, especially for the best bet-winning blackmail he'd ever caught. If he was a Somebody, he might've been embarrassed that he'd spied on Axel and Xion's personal time. Maybe. Pfft, who was he kidding; he would've just laughed harder.

But that wasn't really important. He was a Nobody, and the montage of videos he put together would be useful for keeping them on the path he wanted them to follow.

Axel would keep Xion in the Organization, and Roxas would surely be paranoid about what his best friends were hiding from him after Xigbar showed the kid his video. If the resulting drama wasn't enough to push Roxas out of the Organization, a few nudges in the form of questions about where he came from and what his purpose was should be enough to do the trick. That would take care of the Freeshooter's second bet with Luxord. But the fun didn't end there. As Organization XIII's designated assassin, Axel would be required to hunt him down for treason, thus leaving Xion as the fully-functional keyblade wielder. Maybe even Saïx himself would track down Roxas, if he didn't trust Axel's loyalty.

_Moony doing dirty work? Now _that _I would like to see even more than a catfight between Axel and Roxas._

Xigbar deleted the last traces of his night of eavesdropping from the computer's data and powered it down.

Sure, his plan might not be completely foolproof, but it was guaranteed to cause some chaos. Very interesting chaos. Whether it worked or not, at least he got some amusing footage that he could laugh at later.

It was too bad his cameras didn't catch the all of the audio from the TV room because of the movie, or he would've seen one flaw he hadn't counted on.

XXX

Axel knew he wouldn't be able to shake the feeling that something was wrong, but he was forced to ignore it. Saïx had already gotten on his case about being too attached to Roxas and Xion and interfering with the set-up mission yesterday.

_Like I'd just sit back and watch them kill each other. _He'd bought them at least one more day, but how could he keep them safe in the long run?

Like a cat chasing its tail, his thoughts had gone in a circle. He trudged into the Grey Area with the most awake expression he could muster.

"Oi, Flamsilocks! Get any sleep last night?" From Xigbar, that could've meant that Axel's façade of alertness was failing, or the eyepatched man was simply teasing him about his date with Xion. Probably both. "Rise and shine; you look like a drugged sloth."

Axel ignored him, plopping down on the couch in the hope of at least resting his eyes for a moment. His nightmare had taken away more of his energy than sleep had restored, and that on top of staying up so late had taken its toll.

"Don't get too comfortable," Saïx warned."Your mission will require an excess of magic. Prepare by checking your stock of Hi-Ethers and Mega-Ethers."

Axel yawned and gave a mocking salute. "Whatever you say, Sir."

Pushing himself off the couch, he strolled over to the moogle.

"Greetings, Kupo!" He (at least Axel assumed it was a he) said enthusiastically. "I missed you and your friend last night, Kupo. Are you two alright, Kupo?"

"Shh!" Axel hushed him, glancing over his shoulder to check if anyone was listening. It didn't seem so, but it was hard to tell with Xigbar and Saïx. _Great, even the moogle knows about us._ Axel rarely paid attention to him; he could've easily been in the Grey Area when he met with Xion to go to Neverland and Christmas Town those two nights. _Does he even sleep?_ "We're fine. We met somewhere else last night."

"Oh, that's a shame, Kupo. I enjoy seeing displays of kindness in this heartless place, and you two are quite cute together, Kupo." Despite not having a mouth, the moogle almost seemed to be grinning.

Axel ruffled his hair, his mouth straightening into a line between a frown and a smile. "I need to buy some panels."

"Of course, Kupo." The moogle dug his wares out of somewhere in hammerspace. "No need to worry, Kupo. I'll keep your secret, Kupo." Axel wondered if he was winking under his hood, or if moogles even could wink.

"Well, that's a tiny bit of consolation," Axel muttered, paying for a few Mega-Ethers with munny, as he (unfortunately) had no way of collecting and using heart points like Roxas and Xion. _I wonder why Saïx said to get Mega-Ethers, anyway. Guess I must be teamed up today. _ Saïx rarely sent him on missions with any members but Roxas or Xion, so he was actually looking forward to work today. It meant Roxas and Xion wouldn't be tricked into fighting each other, and he'd have at least one more day with her…

_Or Roxas,_ he reminded himself, feeling slightly guilty that he kept prioritizing his time with Xion over everything else. _It's understandable, though, isn't it? They're both still my best friends, but she'll leave soon, and I love her as more than a friend…_ He wasn't betraying his friendship with Roxas by loving her, but he still felt a little bad for hiding it. _There's just no way to explain it to him that would make sense and keep him from distrusting both of us._

Having emotions really did make things complicated. It was a good thing the benefits outweighed that fact.

Axel let himself fall back on the couch again, sighing. _And there's still that uneasiness…_ Underneath his other thoughts and problems, the nightmare still lurked, waiting to pounce. He quickly began counting the circles on the floor in hope that the monotonous task would distract him.

Other members ambled about until Saïx ordered most of them off on their missions. Aggravatingly enough, Xigbar stayed, lounging on a couch on the opposite side of the room and humming an obnoxious tune that made Axel lose count at somewhere around twenty-three and brought his thoughts crashing back in again.

_If there was anything I could do right now, I'm sure I'd feel a lot better. _Inactivity didn't suit him. _The sooner I get on with my mission and get back to go out with Xion again, the better._

But in the meantime, he had to endure Xigbar's humming. If it was anyone but Xigbar, one of Saïx's glares would've shut him up, but since he _was_ Xigbar, he continued. It was driving Axel crazy.

"Oi, shuddup," he mumbled, covering his ears.

Xigbar took that as an invitation to relocate to the seat across from Axel.

"What, still trying to fit in some beauty sleep? Looks like you need it."

"Yeah, I do, actually. Go away." He kept his eyes closed, refusing to look at Xigbar.

"As if." Saïx began ranting at Demyx, and Xigbar used a hand to shield them from eavesdropping. "Since we've got time, there's something we need to talk about."

"No we don't." Whatever Xigbar wanted to talk about probably involved blackmail and Xion, and Axel was frankly too tired and preoccupied with more pressing matters to care about Number II's plans.

Xigbar ignored him. "Out of the two keybladers, you're banking on Poppet coming out in one piece, am I right?"

Axel stayed silent, knowing anything he said could and would be used against him. Xigbar took this as a yes and went on.

"I'm for her all the way. She's clearly stronger than Kiddo by now. But still, aren't two heads better than one?"

"What are you getting at?" Axel opened his eyes to peer at him curiously, though his posture remained relaxed.

Xigbar smirked. "You've fallen for Poppet. What would you do if she was to fall away from you? As if you'd just let her leave." He reclined back, propping his feet up on the table. "I'd keep her close if I were you. Wouldn't want another set-up like yesterday, right? Maybe if you can keep her away from Kiddo it'll keep Moony from pulling that nasty trick again, and you can keep both of them." A wicked grin marred his face.

_Why's Xigbar giving me this advice? It almost sounds reasonable. Except Xion will keep taking Roxas's power anyway…_

"I know how you convinced him to let them tag team for a while. Bet it'd be just as easy to let them do the opposite. Go have your fun with Poppet and protect Kiddo while you're at it."

Axel was still skeptical about Xigbar's motives. "Don't think I believe you just want us to get our 'happily ever afters' for a second. I can tell from the look on your face."

Xigbar faked an offended expression. "What, you have something against my face? I just want to see Kingdom Hearts completed before the rest of my hair goes grey. Though it _is _an amusing bonus that I get to watch you and Poppet's little romance. Never would've guessed you could be such a sap."

To Axel's eternal humiliation, his face reddened in embarrassment. "Would it kill you to stay out of our business?"

"Flamsilocks, you should know by now that _everyone's _business is my business." Xigbar smirked and went off to talk to Demyx, who Saïx had finally stopped lecturing.

_Why does that guy have to meddle so much?_

Axel was left alone with his confused thoughts until Xion walked in. Smiling, he waved her over to the couch he was resting on.

His smile quickly faded for two reasons:

One, she still had her hood up for a reason he couldn't (or wouldn't?) guess.

Two, Saïx called both of them and Xigbar to the middle of the room.

"I'm assigning you three to Wonderland today." Saïx handed Xigbar the mission slip.

Axel hid his shock, changing it to mild surprise. "Now here's an unlikely trio. Me, Xigbar, and Xion?"

"Worried I'll slow you down?" Xigbar asked, grinning. It was obvious why he was perfectly fine with the arrangements.

"'Course not. Touchy, touchy… It's just not every day we get to go for a stroll with Number II himself. Ain't that right, Xion?" He looked over at her, wondering why she seemed so distant. Of course, the hood was part of it, but something else was off, too.

"Yeah." Her voice sounded hollow. The apprehension from Axel's dream returned. _She's… She's not going to leave me, is she? No, not yet. We've got a mission together. All my fear just felt like surfacing last night. Nobody's going to drown._

Roxas appeared out of the dark Grey Area entrance. "Hey, are you three teamed up for the day?"

Axel was about to reply, but Saïx interrupted him.

"You have your own mission, Roxas."

"I can't trade with Xigbar or something?"

Whatever the old man said about keeping Roxas and Xion safe by keeping them apart, Axel would've felt much better if Saïx sent the three of them on a mission together. Not that the Diviner would allow it.

"What an extraordinarily childish notion. Do you need Axel to walk you everywhere now?"

If he wasn't already walking on thin ice from interfering yesterday, Axel would've defended his friend, but he couldn't risk Saïx becoming any more suspicious of his loyalties.

"No… I didn't – Never mind."

Axel felt a pang of sympathy at Roxas's disappointed expression, but he left with Xigbar and Xion silently.

_At least he doesn't have to worry about Xigbar watching his every move._

XXX

"Let's get this show on the road, shall we? I'm sure we've all got places we'd rather be." Xigbar smirked, leading the way into the Bizarre Room.

Axel kept stealing glances at Xion, but she was silent as the grave.

_How can I do this? _ Xion wondered. _Getting away from Xigbar would be hard enough, but how can I just walk out on Axel?_ Her heart cracked at the thought. _But I'll have to. I can't let him see my face like this. He might not mind that I'm a replica, but if he saw me as Sora… There's no way he could still want to be with me, even if I didn't have to leave._

"So what's our target, anyway?" Axel asked to break the uncomfortable silence as the trio gulped down the shrinking liquid. As usual, the change was painless, but he always wondered how their clothes shrunk as well.

"Oh, we'll know it when we see it," Xigbar replied vaguely, summoning his arrowguns. Axel and Xion summoned their weapons as well, charging after the slew of floating Heartless that appeared.

Xion's keyblade slashed through them frantically. _I have too much energy… I shouldn't have this much strength. It's not mine. _She couldn't help using it, though. Heartless after Heartless fell to her key before Axel and Xigbar had a chance to blink. _I have to give it back. I have to leave, can't let them see my face… Have to find the right time, when Xigbar's not paying attention… Axel will let me go. He promised. _But how could she say goodbye to him?

"Hey, don't leave us out of the action!" Axel called, going back-to-back with her and flinging his chakrams at a group of Grey Caprices. He felt another twinge of anxiety when she tensed.

_I shouldn't let him get this close; what if he notices something?_

"If Saïx wanted you to do it all yourself, he wouldn't have sent us with you," Axel called over his shoulder.

Xion was pretty sure she knew why two of the Organization's strongest members were paired up with her, but it would do no good to voice that theory. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and tried to relax a little. It was easier than she expected; of course, she wanted to relax. This might be the last time she would be this close to him, and even if she shouldn't be, the contact still comforted her a little.

It was almost like they were dancing again, moving as one, but much faster and more wildly, not in fluid motions, but jagged ones. Axel missed her usual grace; this tense stiffness didn't suit her.

They turned to volleys of fire and blizzard magic until the last enemy, a Striped Aria, was destroyed.

Xigbar clapped, smirking. "Nice performance."

"Why weren't you helping?" Axel asked with a hint of accusation.

"Wouldn't want to spoil you fun. Besides, I had a good view of the show from here."

Xion panted, dispelling her keyblade. She wasn't tired; her own (borrowed) power simply scared her. At least she could vent it on the Heartless. _Maybe it'll help me fight Xigbar. I'll have to do something about him, soon. And Axel…_

Axel glared at Xigbar. "Your job isn't to sit back and watch."

"Isn't it?"

Now _that_ made Axel and Xion both uneasy. More than they already were.

He saw her heavy breathing and put a hand on her shoulder, making her flinch.

"Xion?" She saw the worry in his eyes. "Is everything alright?"

She took a step back, shaking her head. "It's nothing," she whispered.

"It doesn't look like nothing." _Whenever girls say 'nothing' they always mean 'something.' Usually something big. _His sisters had made him get that memorized.

"Please, Axel – Not now. We'll talk about it later."

"Promise?"

One way or another, she knew they had to. "I promise."

He was a little satisfied by that. After glancing over his shoulder to see if Xigbar was watching (he looked highly interested in the wall opposite them), he gave her a quick hug. "Let's get back to the mission, then."

"By all means," Xigbar said, walking towards the exit. Axel and Xion followed quickly.

They headed for the Lotus Forest since Card Soldiers were blocking all the other paths. Xion took care of all the Heartless that stood in their way with ease. _Too much ease, _she thought.

Axel wondered why Saïx said to bring extra Mega-Ethers. _Normally all those music-named Heartless would waste a lot of magic, but with the way she's burning through them, I won't even reach my last magic cast. _Xigbar still hadn't fired a single bullet. _Maybe he just lacks confidence in us? No, something's definitely off. _

It came back to that dream… _Was it even a dream? Still, she wouldn't leave right in front of me, would she? She wouldn't. _He kept telling himself that.

They walked under the canopy in thick silence, Axel and Xion keeping their apprehension to themselves. Xigbar was just as laid-back as always as he directed them to the Tea Party Garden.

"Keep your eyes peeled, kiddies. Don't wanna let our target sneak up on us, eh?"

"Might help if you told us what it is," Axel muttered, glancing around.

"There!" Xion pointed to the pair of glowing eyes at the far end of the tea party table and summoned her keyblade, charging.

"Xion, wait!" Axel's chakrams appeared in a swirl of flames, and he threw them at the Lurk Lizard, stunning it just as it was about to lash out with its tongue. Xion took the opportunity to enter a swift but mechanical combo at its now-visible head.

Xigbar shot off a few bullets, but not nearly enough to be useful. Again it was Xion doing most of the fighting. Somehow, though, the Lurk Lizard's attacks rarely hit her, and when they did she jumped up again quickly.

Axel launched a few Firagas at the Heartless to weaken it before Xion dealt the final blow.

Xigbar yawned, dismissing his arrowguns. "Time to RTC."

_This is going to be my only chance, _Xion thought. She'd hoped for something better, but she should've known it would be impossible to catch Xigbar off guard, especially when he wasn't fighting much. _It's now or never, and I can't afford never._

Shrieking like a lunatic, Xion launched herself, keyblade bared, at the senior member. Axel stood frozen in wide-eyed shock.

Xigbar knocked back her attack easily despite being weaponless, laughing. "Ha ha! Talk about a blast from the past."

_What? _Xion paused momentarily, poised in her battle stance. _It doesn't matter. I can't back down now._

"Cut it out, Xion!" Axel yelled. _No, not now! Why? She promised she would stay until she absolutely had to leave—_

Xion squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out Axel's simultaneously incredulous and crushed facial expression. _I can't let him change my mind. I can't. _Oh, how she wished she could.

Xigbar summoned his arrowguns. "Of all the faces… Why do I look at her and see yours?"

_So he's not talking to me; he's talking to who he sees me as… But who is it? Sora? My hood's still up!_

"Why do you always have to stare at me like I just drowned your goldfish?"

Xion decided she didn't care. "Shut up!"

Axel stared in motionless panic as Xion stomped her foot and rushed forward with blinding speed. Xigbar looked around furiously but didn't see her swift appearance until it was too late. He fell to the ground from a blow to the back of his neck, all too similar to how Axel had once knocked her unconscious.

Dispelling her keyblade, Xion opened a dark corridor. _This will be the last I see of him… Until our next life. Whatever and whenever that will be._

"Axel, I'm sorry." Even as she spoke, she couldn't look into his eyes.

Axel gaped at her. "Have you flipped your lid?"

"Please… let me go." _You promised. _"I have to do this, or else – Look."

Removing her hood, she finally met his eyes. The horror and heartbrokenness she saw there was enough to confirm her decision. _I can't be with him, not like this._

"What the…" He knew this would happen. She made it crystal clear. But seeing Sora's face on the body of his best friend, the girl he loved… It was like the universe was collapsing, like the tidal wave in his dream, and he couldn't save her.

Xion lifter hood back up, fighting back tears.

"Please, Axel. You have to take care of Roxas." If she couldn't have a chance at more of a life than this, at least he could.

"But how are you… gonna…"

"Please!" Xion pleaded. For a moment she was terrified he might try to hold onto her, like in her dream, when they both knew nothing good could come of it. But if he did anyway, she wasn't sure how strong her willpower would be.

His shock, no, _fear _left him paralyzed. His throat constricted painfully, preventing him from speaking, so he nodded towards the corridor.

"Thank you."

She regretted that that was all she could say.

_I love you, Axel, _her heart added, but the tears springing to her eyes prevented it from reaching her lips.

She regretted that she couldn't throw her arms around him, and she couldn't cry on his shoulder, and she couldn't give him one last kiss, and she couldn't let him tell her everything would be okay because it _wouldn't._ There was no way she could do any of that with Sora's face. More than ever, she regretted everything she wasn't.

He regretted that he couldn't pull her into a warm embrace, and he couldn't murmur soothing words to comfort her, and he couldn't dry the tears staining her ocean eyes, and he couldn't give her one last kiss, and he couldn't tell her everything would be okay because it _wouldn't. _Not if she was gone. More than ever, he regretted not discovering how he felt sooner, not telling her he loved her more when he had the chance.

What they both regretted most was that they were out of time.


	9. If We Advance Forth, Can We Meet Again?

Saïx was as furious as a Nobody could be when Axel returned, dragging an unconscious Xigbar behind him. Refusing to speak, Axel sat on a couch with his head in his hands, struggling to perform the simple action of steadily breathing.

_She's gone. She's gone…_ His pain felt both distanced by denial and disbelief while at the same time raw and agonizing as a stab to the heart. He wasn't used to this level of emotional pain. _I knew this would happen, but now? We were going to do so many things, like go to my treehouse, and go stargazing, and be together, and she was going to stay… But she's gone…_

He didn't know it was possible to hurt so much. The only thing he could compare it to was losing his heart – which in a way made sense, because she had given him a new heart.

He was empty all over again. Emptiness _hurt. _No, that didn't make sense. He was empty before, and that didn't hurt. He wasn't empty. He could feel wet droplets stain his gloves; that alone proved he could still feel.

_What's the point of having emotions now? She's gone. _It still was a small comfort to know she had left a piece of her heart with him.

_She wouldn't want me to sit here and angst about this, even though it hurts like darkness. I have to be stronger than that, like she said I am. I can still fix this. She's not gone forever. But how can I bring her back the way she is now? She wouldn't want that. I couldn't do that to her. But what _can _I do? _

_Action. That's what matters._

Wiping his eyes, he reached into his pocket and closed his hand around his Wayfinder. For a moment he could feel the phantom touch of her hand in his.

_So many ways we were supposed to stay together… Then how could this happen?_

XXX

By the time Xigbar awakened, Axel couldn't avoid Saïx's questions any longer.

"Explain yourself, Axel."

He put up as much of a façade as he could muster under the circumstances. It was a testament to his lying skills that it was convincing as always. "I didn't let her go. The old man needs to get his eyes checked." _Or one eye, whatever. _"Anyway, she wasn't taking no for an answer."

"I'll give him that," Xigbar said. "Can't toss the blame around when I couldn't stop her either."

They looked towards Roxas as he entered the room.

"And now we're left with the one we can't use…" Saïx muttered before leaving.

_Is that really all he cares about now?_ _How he can use people? _ Of course, Axel couldn't expect him to care about Xion or Roxas. He had never taken the time to get to know them as true people. _Does he only care about using me as a tool, too? Feels like I don't know him at all anymore… Isa wouldn't do that. I miss him._

"What was that all about?" Roxas asked, looking around. "Where's Xion?"

Axel had anticipated and dreaded that question. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or not when Xigbar answered for him.

"She flew the coop. Flamsilocks here couldn't trouble himself to clip her wings."

Axel couldn't deny that. Nobodies had no trouble lying. For better or for worse, he wasn't completely a Nobody anymore.

"Axel, he's kidding, right?" Roxas stared incredulously, more stunned than if he had found out that Axel had killed a few of their former comrades.

_I couldn't abuse her trust in me. I couldn't force her to stay in the state she was in, either. _

"As if. Your friend sat there sucking his thumb while Xion walked right off. …I'm going back to my room." Xigbar shook his head as he walked out.

"What happened out there?" Roxas asked, walking closer to Axel, who looked away.

_Because it's not enough that I had to see the girl I love with Sora's face, and that she had to leave me, now I have to play twenty questions about it. _"Look, nothing."

The lie of the century. Perhaps of the whole millennium.

"Xion's gone! How is that nothing?" Roxas gestured wildly, unable to comprehend what he thought was his friend's apathy.

_Can't he see I don't want to talk about it? _ "It's just like Xigbar said. I couldn't stop her from going."

"Don't give me that! Why not?" Roxas kept staring at him with his personally-tailored look of enraged betrayal.

Axel was getting the urge to burn down the universe. _This is starting to replace my last day as Lea as the worst day of my life. If it hasn't already._

He crossed his arms. _But he's my friend, and I promised Xion I'd take care of him… Even tell him the truth about her if I had to. There's no other way he'll understand. What've I got to lose, anyway?_

Axel began one of the most heartbreakingly blunt explanations he'd ever given.

"Roxas… Xion is like a mirror that reflects you." He hated to say it, because she wasn't Roxas. She wasn't Sora; she wasn't anyone but herself, no matter what she looked like.

"What?" Roxas recoiled like a Heartless had just popped out in front of him.

"The Organization made her to duplicate your powers." True. "She's a puppet." Technically true as well, but not to Axel.

Roxas gaped at him. "Have you gone nuts? Xion's a person, not a puppet."

_Of course she's a person! _But how could he explain that her let her go because of his promise, because he loved her? _ He would know that we've been keeping secrets from him. He probably already knows._ He hardened his expression, steeling himself for more words that hurt so badly to say.

"She's smoke and mirrors, Roxas. And when I looked in the mirror… It wasn't you I saw." The euphemism was the only way he could bring himself to say it.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but Xion is Xion. You can't expect her to be me."

"That's not what I mean, Roxas." _Xion will _always_ be Xion. My Xion. _Axel swallowed the bitter taste in the back of his throat. "It was only a matter of time before somebody had to break the mirror."

That was a message Roxas got loud and clear. "You mean destroy her," he deadpanned.

Axel turned away, hiding the water that was trying to escape his eyes. _I don't want to do anything like that! All I've been trying to do is keep both of them safe!_

"Answer me!" Roxas yelled.

"Roxas, if somebody doesn't, you'll… You won't be you anymore."

"I'll always be me! Your best friend – just like Xion!" Roxas looked angry enough to break out his keyblade right there.

Axel shook his head, pushing down the urge to yell. _Does he think that doesn't matter to me? I'm finally telling him the truth, and he won't even try to understand!_

He settled on a resigned sigh. "Roxas, you're… you're not seeing the bigger picture. Any of it."

Maybe if Axel had been able to explain that he still cared about Xion, more than Roxas knew, he would have been less quick to dismiss him.

"Ugh, forget this."

But he couldn't, and that would haunt him forever.

"Roxas!" Axel called out as Roxas began to leave, but it only made him run faster.

"Why can't you understand…"

XXX

_I couldn't tell Xion she was wrong, and I can't bring myself to end her. But it's either that, or I have to erase Roxas. There's no future where the three of us can sit around and eat ice cream. I know Roxas will never understand. I don't want to acknowledge it myself._

Axel stared at his journal entry and let out an aggravated sigh. Seeing all his dilemmas written out like that made their fate seem so unchangeable. Permanent. Hopeless. He regretted writing it in pen; he couldn't erase and fix it.

He began to scribble it out furiously, but stopped when he accidentally ripped a hole in the page.

_What's the point?_ He flopped back on his bed, flinging his journal and pen at the wall. Demyx gave a squeak of surprise from next door, but Axel didn't care.

_I won't end Roxas or Xion. I won't choose between them. I promised to save them both._

He intended to keep all his promises, however difficult they might be.

_But how..?._ As much as he let his ideas stew, he came up with no answer.

XXX

"Looks like I've spent too much time without emotions to manipulate them as well as I thought." Xigbar sighed, reclining on his bed. "Well, that throws a wrench in the works."

He still couldn't explain why Axel had let Xion escape. _Flamsilocks was more attached to her than duct tape to a flat surface. Did I overlook something? _Even with just one eye, that was a rare occurrence. _Could it have been something they said?_

Oh, what he wouldn't have given for his cameras to pick up better audio. But…

_There's always the chance that he'll bring her back. _He aimed an evil grin at the ceiling. _And I can increase that chance._

After this incident, Roxas was even more likely to be distrustful of Axel, though for entirely different reasons.

He'd put his new plan into the works, right after he placed another bet with Luxord.


	10. Fears and Lies Melt Away

**A/N: This is day 354, when Roxas goes on the Device mission and Xemnas tells the Organization about Xion. Did anyone else wonder what she did during this day, or the day after? According to the timeline, she didn't meet Naminé until day 356.**

Xion had spent her first night as a renegade in Twilight Town. Her sleep was tormented by nightmares, but none came close to the one she experienced the night before she left. Still, when she woke up in the woods outside of town, she could see ominous shadows lurking all around her.

They actually were Shadows. Her keyblade took care of that issue, but it wasn't the real problem. She found herself wishing Axel had been able to sing her to sleep again – that was it; it was the first night out of four that she hadn't been comforted by him before dropping into her dreams.

She was glad for the good memories they'd made, but she knew thinking of them now would only make her want to go back. She had to forget for now and look for this mysterious Naminé girl.

_I wonder what Riku meant when he said I wouldn't have much trouble tracking her down?_

Xion ambled through the woods, through the crack in the wall, and into town. Catching a glimpse in a shop window, she was relieved to see the reflection of her own face. _Maybe it's because I'm not so close to Roxas, and it's harder to absorb his energy?_ _Or did I only look like Sora temporarily, and it was going to wear off anyway? _ Whatever the reason, she would take it. Even though she knew it wouldn't last, it brought a small smile to her face, and she found herself humming.

"'_Cause this is the future, and you are alive."_

The words of Axel's song came back to her as she hummed the peaceful melody. _But I wonder what it'll be like when I'm not alive… _It would be okay. She knew he would find a way to bring her back when the time was right._ Hearts never die. We'll have a next life. Our destinies are intertwined. _She repeated this to herself over and over; the mental chant's rhythm matched her pace as she walked through Tram Common.

Taking a break from her search to rest against a building's brick wall, she took out her purple Wayfinder and held it in her open palm. Slowly her fingers closed around it and her eyelids shut, and she made a silent wish.

_Please, God, Axel told me you exist, so I know you're out there somewhere. I don't know how this is supposed to work or if you're busy or something, but if you can make a world and your son can give us all next lives, you can probably hear my heart. Axel said you can do really amazing stuff like that. Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you, but could you keep my friends safe? I figure if anyone can, it's someone like you. So, um, thank you._

Xion felt warmed by her unorthodox prayer, like someone really had been listening. Rubbing her thumb over the smooth metal Nobody insignia, she carefully placed her Wayfinder back in her pocket.

"Hey, are you okay?" A girl with brown hair and an orange shirt stood a few feet off, head tipped sideways in curiosity.

Xion jumped at the sudden voice. "Oh, yeah, um, I'm fine." She tried to appear casual by crossing her legs and putting her hands behind her head as she leaned against the wall, but she failed miserably.

"What was that you were holding?" The girl asked, not seeming to notice Xion's display as she walked over to her.

"Um…" Xion wasn't used to talking to strangers. _But what if this girl is Naminé?_ "It's my good luck charm."

"Can I see it?" The girl was full of questions, not like Xion expected Naminé to be. Not that she knew what to expect.

"I guess so." She brought it back out.

The girl smiled brightly. "Wow! Where did you get it?"

"Actually, I made it, with my friend," Xion answered, feeling a familiar pang of nostalgia.

The other girl had a lightbulb moment. "Oh! Was his name Roxas?"

Xion's eyebrows drew together. "No, but I have another friend named Roxas. How did you know?"

"He played Grandstander with me and my friends once, and he had the same coat as you. My name's Olette, by the way." Olette smiled. Xion hid her disappointment.

"I'm Xion." _Got it memorized? _She was so used to Axel's catchphrase that it almost seemed natural to use it herself.

"Nice to meet you, Xion. Would you like to come hang out with me and my friends? You look pretty lonely." Olette gave her a sympathetic smile.

_You have no idea. _"I'd like to, but I'm supposed to be looking for a girl named Naminé."

"Naminé?" Olette frowned. "I've never heard of her, but we can ask Pence. He knows just about everything and everyone around here."

"Okay," Xion agreed. It sounded much better than wandering around trying to find the mysterious girl on her own.

"Follow me; I'll take you to our Usual Spot!" Olette said enthusiastically, walking off towards a side street.

Xion trailed behind, hoping that this excursion might distract her from thoughts of Roxas and Axel. 'Someday' seemed like such a long time to wait to see them again.

XXX

So much for a distraction. As soon as they arrived at the Usual Spot, Pence brought up the time he met Xion's two friends, and it took all her effort to hide how much she missed them. Hayner, Pence, and Olette asked way more questions than she wanted to answer, wondering where they were and if they were looking for her again.

Xion told the trio that they shouldn't be, which was true enough. Once she dodged enough questions, Olette made them drop the subject, probably because she could tell that they were making Xion feel uncomfortable. Hayner rolled his eyes and complained that anyone allowed into their hangout should have to explain themselves better, but Pence and Olette were used to dealing with him. Xion stayed quiet and tried not to intrude on their friendly banter until there was opening for her to ask her question.

"Do you know anyone named Naminé?" She shifted anxiously on the scruffy couch.

Pence shook his head. "Sorry, I've never heard of her," he admitted. "Of course, I still haven't uncovered _everything _about the town."

"You sure act like it sometimes," Hayner said.

Olette laughed. "You can't say anything, Hayner. You act like you know everything about _everything_, except your homework."

"Come on, it's not my fault we never get homework on useful stuff!" Hayner defended. "Nobody needs to know how to analyze poetry!"

"I'm surprised you still remember that we did that last year," Olette mused.

"It was the worst experience of my life!" Hayner complained, sitting down on one of the old barrels. "Apparently saying 'it sounds girly' doesn't count as analyzing."

Pence and Olette just laughed. Xion got the feeling that this was common for them. _I miss goofing around with Axel and Roxas… teasing them, talking with them about stupid stuff… _She missed everything. "So how are we going to find Naminé, anyway?" Olette asked.

"We could look around town," Pence suggested. "Hopefully it'll be a better investigation than when I was researching the Seven Wonders."

Olette frowned. "Weren't those all hoaxes?"

"Yeah."

"Lame," Hayner agreed. "Do you think this Naminé girl is any more real?"

"Sure! I trust Xion," Pence said, smiling at her. Xion wondered how he trusted her so quickly when they'd just met.

Hayner hopped off of the barrel, stretching. "Well, whatever, then. Might as well get looking."

XXX

Their hours of searching, from the dark underground tunnels to the top of Station Heights, proved nearly fruitless. The only piece of information they found was that the art supply store's owner had a regular customer who was a girl in a white dress, and she never gave out her name and only shopped when the store was about to close.

"Sounds like a Mystery Girl, alright," Pence said once they returned to the Usual Spot.

Hayner crossed his arms. "But that doesn't help us find her."

"Hayner's right," Olette said, sighing. "I'm sorry, Xion."

"It's okay. You guys tried your best." On the inside, Xion was actually happier than she wanted to be that she could procrastinate her destiny one more day, even if it wouldn't do her any good. She couldn't spend it with Axel or Roxas.

"You're welcome to grab some ice cream with us," Olette said in an effort to cheer her up.

Xion shook her head. "No, I should go. I had a good time with you, though."

"Same here!" Pence said. "You should hang out with us again sometime."

"Sheesh, you two are really going overkill with the hospitality."

Olette nudged Hayner. "Be nice!" She whispered.

He coughed to hide his earlier sentence and forced a goofy smile. "Yeah, it was cool. We'll see you 'round."

"Thank you," Xion said, smiling back at them all. She didn't mind Hayner's previous comment; he was probably a little annoyed at her for wasting their entire day on a wild goose chase.

"I'll be sure to find you if I hear anything about Naminé," Pence said as Xion pushed aside the cloth scrap hanging in front of the entrance.

"I'd appreciate that," Xion said with a wave, and the trio followed her out.

Olette smiled as she ran ahead of Pence and Hayner. "Hurry up, guys! Let's get our ice cream quickly so we'll have time to finish our homework!"

Hayner groaned. "That girl and her homework…"

"At least she's not trying to make us go shopping," Pence said cheerfully.

"That might be better. You don't have to do research or calculate anything for shopping."

"You have to add up all the prices, and with all the clothes Olette buys…"

Xion giggled as they ran to catch up with their friend. She wished she could be like them, with not a care in the world except for getting munny for ice cream and how to finish all her homework before summer vacation was over. Being human seemed like the best thing in the worlds.

XXX

Without any direction from their owner, Xion's feet led her to the ice cream vendor. She wasn't sure if having a sea-salt bar for old time's sake would make her feel better or worse, but she bought one anyway.

The next place her feet wanted to drag her was the clocktower.

_I can't risk running into Axel or Roxas… _They would want her back, and she couldn't allow that. People (including Roxas, though he didn't know it) were counting on her to go back to Sora.

"Which I still have no idea how to do." Xion sighed, taking a seat on a Sandlot bench, as there was no better available place to eat her ice cream.

_Riku said I shouldn't have trouble finding her… _Some help he was. She knew she shouldn't feel bitter, but it was hard not to when she had no idea what to do.

"_Well, what do you want to do, Xion?"_

Axel's words still echoed in her mind.

"_I want… I want to be… With you."_

"Axel…" She whispered to herself, wanting the chance to talk to him one last time in this life. A drip of sea-salt ice cream fell onto her leg, soon joined by an equally salty tear. She finished her ice cream out of habit without tasting it.

_One last time…_

Before she knew exactly what she was doing, she dug her diary and a pen out of her coat pocket, ripping out a sheet of paper. Her pen flew across the page, writing out all the words she hadn't had time to speak, and repeating a few that she had.

_I'm sorry I had to leave you Axel. I wanted to at least give you a better goodbye but I couldn't. There's so much I wanted us to do. I wanted every night to be like the ones we shared. I was alone last night. It was cold._

_If there was any way I could come back, I promise you I would. Would you still want me back after seeing me as Sora? I don't look like him right now, but I probably will again if I don't go back to him. I don't want to. I have to. There's no way I could be with you like this._

_We will be together someday, right? Roxas too. If we have hearts, I think he does too. Our hearts will always be together, and we've got our Wayfinders, and we'll remember each other, and I asked God to keep you two safe. We'll have a next life. I know it. _

_You should choose something for us to do when we're together again since you let me choose so much. After we go to the beach, of course. That's something fun we can do with Roxas. But we should do something with just the two of us again too, if you still want to. You said you wanted to climb trees, right? That sounds like fun. Of course, everything we do together is fun except fighting. I don't want to fight again._

_I love you, Axel. I always will. Don't ever forget. That's the truth._

_Until our next life,_

_Xion_

_P.S. Your song was beautiful._

She looked over the hastily scrawled letter. It would never be enough, but at least it might give him hope, and there was nothing more she could do. If she saw him in person, he would be required to take her back to the castle.

_But then how will I get it to him? _Xion gazed up at the clocktower again. No one was there at the moment.

Hurrying as fast as she could, she ran to one of the shops she had visited with Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and she purchased an envelope before corridoring to the clocktower ledge. It was still empty, to both her relief and disappointment.

Xion wrote _To Axel _on the front of the envelope and slipped her letter inside, sealing it by licking the edge of the flap.

_I hope he'll find it here… _She set it on the ledge, placing seashells on top of it so the wind wouldn't blow it away.

Gazing out at the sunset, she didn't want to leave. It was one of her favorite places in the worlds, no, her favorite place, one with so many memories attached to it. Memories of Axel and Roxas.

_Roxas… I should've left a letter for him, too. He's my best friend, and I didn't get to say goodbye to him at all… _What would she say, though? He didn't understand why she had to leave. He probably felt even more betrayed than Axel, who at least knew that she wanted to stay.

There was nothing she could do now, anyway. She only had one envelope, and it was getting late. Either or both of them could show up at any moment.

Xion finally found the strength to leave, breaking her staring contest with the sunset that left bright spots seared onto her eyes. She corridored back to the Sandlot and sat down on a bench again, now staring up at the clocktower and hoping to see the one she loved from a distance.

XXX

"_I don't think Xion's safe here anymore. You're not really gonna do what Xemnas says?"_

"_I have to, or else I'm not safe here either."_

"_Well… Could you at least try not to hurt her this time?"_

"_That's up to her. Roxas… Xion is dangerous."_

"_Dangerous how?"_

"_Have you got all your strength back?"_

"_Not yet… How long have you known about her?"_

…

"_You knew all this time, and kept it from me?"_

"Roxas… Xion… What am I going to do with you two?" Axel sighed, standing at the top of one of the spires on the roof of Beast's Castle. A whole day of searching, and he'd found no sign of her.

The whole day, he couldn't get that conversation with Roxas out of his head. He was starting to wonder if the three of them should've ran away like Roxas said, even if they had nowhere to run to. At least then they'd be running together, and not away from each other…

He hoped he could avoid hurting Xion, though he knew he would in one way or another. She didn't want to come back. She couldn't stay, even for him. And she was dangerous to Roxas. Axel knew all of the consequences, however much he tried to deny them.

Part of him wanted to let her stay gone. That was what she wanted, and he wanted to do whatever she wanted. The problem was, he also wanted with all his heart, the heart she shared with him, to hold her in his arms again.

And he made a promise. He would save her, and that meant not letting her get herself destroyed. Even if he had to hurt her first.

"I never was a knight in shining armor," Axel muttered guiltily.

There was nothing left to do on this world, and it was getting late. He doubted Roxas would show up, but he felt the need to get some ice cream anyway. Maybe it would make him feel a tiny bit better.

XXX

"He's probably not going to show…" Xion whispered. Her neck hurt from being tilted up for so long.

Just when she was wondering if she should go back to the woods and camp again, a black-and-red figure appeared on the clocktower ledge.

XXX

Axel froze with his ice cream sticking awkwardly out of his mouth when he saw the shell-covered letter. He quickly swallowed his bite, mouth spreading into a hopeful grin. It could only be from one person, and whatever she had written, he was just glad she had cared enough to leave a letter for him.

Scarfing down the last of his ice cream, he ripped open the envelope as eagerly as a little kid on Christmas and held the letter to his eyes.

He scanned its contents, read each word carefully, made sure he'd gotten it memorized.

His expression turned from true joy to choked-up sadness.

"Xion…" He wanted to be there to comfort her, warm her, promise that he would always love her too.

But on the other hand, there was hope in her words. Not from what she said about being together eventually – that did give a great amount of hope, but Axel wasn't nearly patient enough to sit and wait for a next life. He'd be glad when it came, but he wasn't going to waste the life he had now. He was going to go out there and make _this_ life have a happy ending.

_She doesn't want to fight, and she doesn't want to go back to Sora…_ That brought a ghost of a smile back to his face. _That's like asking me to bring her back, pretty much. She just doesn't think I love her after seeing her as him. Well, I do. She better get that memorized. And she said she'll come back, if there's a way…_

…_I'll find a way._

He was Axel. If anyone could do the nigh-impossible, it was him. He'd bring her back, and stop her from draining Roxas's energy, and the three of them would go to the beach, and they wouldn't fight or keep secrets from each other ever again. It was the most optimistic he'd felt in nearly forever.

Gazing over the streets of Twilight Town, he wondered if she was down there somewhere. As unlikely as it was that she had stayed after leaving the letter, he hadn't searched this world today. He had a sliver of hope.

Across a gap of empty dusk air, green eyes locked on blue, both surprised to make contact over such a long distance. For a moment Xion was scared, but she couldn't look away. She could see his bright smile, one that urged her own to appear.

He kissed his hand, held it flat out in front of him, and blew.

As impossible as it seemed, Xion thought she felt his warm kiss fly down to her cheek. It was probably her imagination, but her hand reached up to touch the spot anyway. With her other hand she returned the gesture, giving him a kiss to catch from the air and press against his own cheek.

There was nothing more she could do. The fact that she had done that much was wonderful.

Before he could corridor down to her, she left through a corridor of her own.

Axel stood up on the ledge, folding the torn paper of the letter neatly and placing it in his pocket. She never did make things easy for him, but she had come to be grateful that he'd brought her back the first time. He was sure that she would be glad to be brought back again if he made it possible for her to stay.

"I've always chased after you, haven't I, Xion?" From the time she lost her keyblade, to when she found out she was a replica, to now, and plenty of times in between.

"After all this is over, we can both stop running."

XXX

"Hey, Kiddo!" Xigbar called as soon as Roxas RTC'd in the Grey Area.

Roxas frowned. "What do you want?"

"At risk of sounding like Vexen, show some respect for your elders. I just wanted to chat a bit." He patted the spot beside him on the couch.

"I'm tired," Roxas deadpanned, walking past without sitting down.

Xigbar wasn't going to let him go that easily. "So you don't wanna hear what I know about Flamsilocks and Poppet?"

Roxas whirled around. "Axel and Xion?"

Nodding, Xigbar grinned. "But, if you'd rather go to bed…"

"Did he find her yet?" Roxas asked, his curiosity sparked.

"Flamsilocks hasn't RTC'd, but that's not what I was talking about. You know anything about love, Kiddo?"

Roxas was confused by the sudden subject change. "Axel said it's something we can't experience without hearts…"

Xigbar laughed, making his ponytail swing. _Then he sure wouldn't understand a thing if I showed him the video. Sucks some of the fun out of things, but it won't be necessary. _"That's not what he told Poppet."

"What are you talking about?" Roxas's eyes narrowed. Xigbar just seemed to be trying to confuse him.

"I'm not convinced he's been completely honest with you. If I were you, I'd ask a few questions about what he and Poppet were up to before she left."

Roxas sighed, finally deciding to sit on the couch opposite Xigbar. "Why? I know he doesn't care about her." _But did he tell her what love is? Why would he tell her, and then give me some confusing explanation that didn't make any sense?_

Xigbar laughed at his obliviousness. "As if! You have two eyes, and you're still blinder than me. No, maybe it's you he doesn't care about."

"Me...?" _He didn't tell me the truth about love, apparently, or about her. Nobody's told me the truth about anything. I don't even know the truth about me. Axel knew about Xion… Does he know about me, too?_

"Exactly. Y'know, maybe you should ask him about yourself instead. I'm sure there's a lot you're dying to know," Xigbar said, voicing Roxas's thoughts. "Even I don't know what all he's got under his hood."

"I wonder…" Roxas muttered. It didn't occur to him that Xigbar had just as many secrets, maybe even more.

_This isn't about Axel and Xion, or whatever happened between them. It's about me._

_Tomorrow I'm going to figure out who I am._

Xigbar grinned as Roxas left. _That kid is way too easy to manipulate. _He stretched, opening a corridor to his own room.

He would sleep easily tonight.


	11. About the Recent Promises

**A/N: This is day 355. I always wondered why no-one else was in the Grey Area when Roxas went to confront Axel…**

Except for the moogle, who Axel actually paid attention to now, the Grey Area was deserted the next morning. He thought it was a sick joke that they finally got a vacation two days after Xion left. Roxas probably wouldn't want to go to the beach after the fights they had yesterday and the day before, even if she was here to go with them.

Of course, that would've solved the problem.

Axel couldn't sleep, his normal vacation activity, even if he wanted to. He ended up leaning against a Grey Area window, trying to come up with a plan to fix Xion. 'Fix' seemed like the wrong word; she wasn't broken to him, even if she felt like she was missing a few pieces. He had promised to put those pieces back in place.

_I've made a lot of promises, haven't I? _

Well, he had a vague idea of how to keep that one. If he could figure out how Xion was created in the first place, maybe that would give him a clue to how the memory-absorption process worked, and more importantly, how to stop it. He could use this 'vacation' (the thought that today was supposed to be a break still sickened him) to go to C.O., do some research (an idea that would be utterly disgusting to him if it was for any reason other than to save Xion), formulate a plan before he had to go after her—

"Axel."

He looked up from his crossed arms, train of thought derailed. Off a cliff. Into a gaping chasm with train-eating sharks at the bottom.

"Hey, Roxas," Axel replied, smiling hopefully despite the interruption. Maybe he would help him find Xion – _No, he said yesterday he doesn't think it's safe for her here. First he's mad that I let her go, and now he doesn't want me to bring her back. _He sighed mentally.

Axel tried to make eye contact, but it took Roxas a while to look away from the floor.

"You find Xion?"

_In a way… _"Like it's gonna be that easy."

"I know…" Roxas's shoulders slumped as he dropped his gaze again.

Axel wasn't sure if Roxas wanted Xion back or not now. Everything was just too complicated. Axel didn't like complications, but he would deal with them because Roxas and Xion were his best friends, and best friends do that for each other. He just hoped he could deal with them quickly.

Roxas spoke up again. "Have you been keeping the truth about her from me this whole time?"

_He doesn't want to have it out over this again, does he? We need to focus on finding a solution, not old problems._

"…Not the whole time," Axel said quietly, shaking his head.

"When did you find out?" Roxas pressed.

_He's never going to let this go, is he? _"Oh, I dunno. Somewhere along the way." He hated lying to his friend and the guilt he felt, but he wasn't going to explain how he found out, even though he remembered it clearly.

How could he forget reading Vexen's book about her, the look on her face when he confronted her about her identity, her relief when he told her he'd still be her friend?

"Didn't get it memorized, huh? Axel… Who am I, really?"

The one question Axel couldn't, no, wouldn't answer. Part of it was his promise with Xion, part of it was what he dreaded Roxas's reaction would be. _If I tell him he's Sora's Nobody, he'll go after him like Xion did. The Organization won't let both of their keyblade wielders go, and I won't lose my two best friends. I won't let him get himself killed._

"I'm special, like Xion. I know that."

Axel kept his eyes fixed on the patterns on the floor.

"But the Organization wanted me out of the picture."

Axel nodded. "Yeah, they did." It wouldn't hurt to confirm that. He realized that he no longer counted himself part of the Organization. He'd been on his own side for a long time, but he hadn't admitted it out loud.

"Is it because Xion copied my keyblade and they didn't need me anymore?"

_I know that Saïx thinks they don't need him anymore…_ Axel didn't respond.

"And you feel the same way."

Axel looked up from the ground to Roxas's face. The look of resigned betrayal he saw there was like a stab through the heart he wasn't supposed to have. _He… does he think I was just friends with him because of his keyblade? That I didn't need him after I met Xion? Does he know how I feel about her? Even so, that doesn't diminish our friendship. Not at all._

"No, you've got that part wrong. You'll always be my best friend."

Somehow that set Roxas off worse than before. "Best friends are honest with each other! Who am I, Axel?"

_I've told him everything I can, but I can't tell him that. _Axel looked away, suddenly seeming very interested in the floor again.

Roxas clenched his fists, grating his teeth. "Xemnas said me and Xion are connected to Sora. Who is that? Tell me! Am I a puppet like Xion?"

"No…" This was going downhill fast, and Axel couldn't find the brakes.

Roxas wilted, his burst of anger drained. "What, then?"

Axel's voice held a hint of steel. "You really think the truth is going to make you feel better? It won't." _It didn't make Xion feel any better…_

"What makes you so sure?" Roxas yelled, his anger coming back again. "I have a right to know who I am! How did I get here? Why am I special? Where did I learn to use the keyblade?" He stomped his foot. "I deserve those answers!"

Axel could do nothing but shake his head sadly. "Roxas…"

Roxas sighed, shutting his eyelids tightly. "Are you gonna tell me or not? Axel… Who am I?"

"You've just gotta trust me, Roxas." _Don't I at least deserve that much?_

Roxas looked up, hurt showing in his eyes. Turning away, he shook his head and threw a cold reply over his shoulder.

"I don't."

Axel's eyes widened. "Hey, c'mon…" _He didn't really mean that, did he? I… Have I been that bad of a friend?_

"If I can't get answers here, I'll get them somewhere else," Roxas said bluntly. "Somebody knows where I came from. That'll be the person I trust."

Axel was left alone, watching as his last friend walked out on him.

_I tried my best, but… He just doesn't trust me anymore. After all the times I helped him…_

He didn't have the willpower to move. He knew he should be trying to find a solution, not despairing about all his problems, but he felt so overwhelmed that he couldn't focus. He just stared at the empty space outside the Grey Area, wondering how everything went so wrong.

"Are you going for the 'just-had-your-goldfish-drowned' look? You've got it down almost as good as Poppet." Xigbar walked in and sprawled out casually on one of the couches.

Axel stared him down with a fiery glare that only the Flurry of Dancing Flames could pull off.

"There ya go, now it's even better. Must've had at least two goldfish drowned." Xigbar grinned, teeth glinting.

"Go away," Axel growled.

"What, that's the best comeback you've got? You're losing your touch, Flamsilocks. It's my vacation, anyway. I can do whatever I want."

Axel crossed his arms. "It's my vacation too. I want you to leave me alone."

Xigbar laughed. "So you can be alone with your angst, right? I saw Roxas on my way over here."

Axel translated that to _'I was spying the whole time.' _Because privacy with Number II on the loose was more nonexistent than Nobodies themselves.

"You two have got some serious trust issues, don't you?" Xigbar continued. "Guess I can't blame him, with all the secrets you've been keeping."

"I don't need you to judge me," Axel muttered. "I have enough people doing that."

"Heh, I suppose you don't. Did Poppet judge you?"

Axel looked away, clenching his eyelids shut. _No, she didn't…_

"Bet you miss her. If I could love a girl, I'd never let her go." Xigbar sighed dramatically. "Sadly, I don't have your luck."

Axel's eyes snapped open. White-hot fire flickered up his arms.

"You. Think. I'm. _Lucky?"_

Xigbar shrugged, not at all intimidated. "Well, yeah. You got a chance to feel."

"You don't know _anything!_" The flames intensified, casting Axel's face in a terrifying glow. "If I don't get her back, I might lose that chance again! I've lost my heart once, but to lose it again…" _I don't know if I could take it… To lose her, forever, to lose the one shot at love I had… _Axel slumped, letting the flames die. "Why am I telling you this?"

"Just need to get it out, eh? Sounds like you've lost a lot. Your girlfriend, your other friend, just about everything you cared about…" Xigbar trailed off.

Axel had had enough of this. Snarling, he summoned a fireball and launched it at Xigbar's face before the Freeshooter could teleport away, setting his eyepatch on fire.

Xigbar yelled, trying to beat out the flames, but it was too late to save his eyepatch. He corridored away, not even leaving behind a witty remark.

Feeling somewhat satisfied, though still wanting to punch the old man in the face, Axel walked out of the Grey Area.

_I have to find Xion. I'll figure out what to do from there, but I have to bring her back. Before it's too late._

First, though, he could at least try to convince Roxas to stay one last time.

XXX

Not wanting to get in the way of Roxas's raging keyblade, Axel leaned against a building in the city just outside the castle. He wasn't kept waiting long.

"Your mind's made up?"

Roxas stopped at Axel's question.

"Why did the keyblade choose me? I have to know."

_You were fine with not knowing until now!_

Axel had kept his temper with Roxas throughout all their arguments, but after what happened with Xigbar, he was pushed to his limit.

"You can't turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" _They'll send me to destroy you! _It was the last idea Axel had that might change his mind.

Roxas barely reacted despite the intensity of Axel's outburst. "No one would miss me," he muttered, continuing to walk away without sparing Axel a second glance.

"That's not true!" Axel objected, but Roxas was already gone. His last chance had failed.

"…I would."

He clenched his fists and took a deep breath of dirty city air. Everyone he cared about was gone – he had nothing left to lose.

There are very few things more dangerous than Axel with nothing to lose.

He would tear the worlds apart until he found a way for the three of them to be together again.

XXX

"Hey, Xion!" Pence called, waving from across the plaza as he ran to catch up with her.

"Hello," Xion said, stopping to wait for him. "Did you find anything out about Naminé?" She had searched alone that day, looking in all the places Hayner, Pence, and Olette couldn't get to and keeping an eye out for Axel. It surprised her that he hadn't come looking for her again (yet, at least).

_Maybe he really will let me go back to Sora. That's what's best for everyone. He can bring me back after I've played my part. If anyone can find a way, he can. _It still hurt that she couldn't go back to him yet, because her heart was still reluctant to agree with what her mind told her was right.

"Yeah!" Pence said, smiling with excitement. "I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier! You know the Old Mansion, right?" It was a rhetorical question; he didn't pause to let her nod. "There's a rumor that somebody lives in there, but nobody knows who. It could be Naminé. Do you wanna go check it out?"

Xion froze up. _It's the only place we haven't checked. She must be there, but… Am I really ready for this? Ready to give up my whole life? _Planning to do it and actually doing it were worlds apart. Still, there wasn't another choice. She didn't have much of a life left, anyway.

"Tomorrow morning," she replied. One night wouldn't do much, but she needed just a little longer to mentally prepare herself. "It's getting late."

"Oh. Okay." Pence nodded, not looking disappointed. "I'll tell Hayner and Olette. We can meet at the Usual Spot and head over there tomorrow."

Xion frowned, eyelids closing briefly. "Actually, I – I'm sorry, Pence. I have to meet Naminé alone." She couldn't go into the mansion and leave them waiting for her. If Naminé was there, Xion wouldn't be coming out.

"It sounds like the rest of us'll miss out on an adventure…" Pence looked disappointed now, but his normal smile quickly came back. "But if that's what you have to do, that's what you have to do. Tell us how it goes, alright?"

"Right." Xion nodded. _If I'm still alive, there won't be much to say, anyway. _If she wasn't, she wouldn't have to explain why she'd needed to meet Naminé in the first place.

They went their separate ways, and Xion wandered the streets again without any purpose.

It was a perfect evening. Certain bricks in the street reflected the brilliant setting sun; a gentle breeze carried the scent of late summer; crows called out to their friends far above in the clouds. Xion wished she could enjoy it.

The clocktower bells rang out a melancholy tone at the hour, and she ended up on the same sandlot bench she sat on the previous day. It was a good a place as anywhere else she could go to think.

_I have to go back to Sora, _she told herself for the millionth time, but her heart still wasn't in it. Yes, she felt a connection, knew that she was a part of him, but she felt a stronger connection to her friends. _I'll only end up hurting them if I don't go back to Sora. He needs his memories back, so he can wake up and be with his friends again._

_But I want to be with my friends too! _She berated herself for her selfishness. _He has more of a right to exist than I do…_

Axel would've told her that wasn't true, that she had just as much of a right to exist as anyone, that she shouldn't have to give that up for someone she never met.

_But that's not the only reason I have to go back to Sora. I can't kill Roxas. I can't keep letting the Organization use me. I can't let myself take all of Sora's memories and become him. I can't be with Axel the way I am now…_

Her head accepted this, so why wouldn't her heart? It was giving her an awful lot of pain for something that wasn't supposed to exist in the first place. It needed a reality check.

Regardless, her heart yearned to find Axel, and cry, and hug him, and cry some more, and never, ever, ever let go.

The cry part she could do, and she did. She cried more salty drops than could fall from a melting ice cream bar. Self-pity wasn't going to help her at all, and she knew it, but it still felt wonderful to let out the powder keg of emotions that had been building up inside her. She let herself overflow, not bothering to control the flood until she had exhausted herself.

She wished he was there to make her tears evaporate. But it was better for them both that he wasn't.

As the last of her tears trickled down her damp, sticky face, she made a promise with herself. She would do what her mind told her to and hope that her heart would follow. She promised to do what was best for everyone.

And in the end, after all she could do, she would hope for Axel to bring her back. This wasn't really the end.

That was the one thought that gave her the courage to go to sleep that night and awake the next day, ready to face her destiny.

She was ready to fulfill her promises.


	12. My Heart's a Battleground

The gate of the Old Mansion closed behind Xion with a heart-stopping _clang. _It was easy to open it physically using her keyblade, but mentally, it was like walking up the edge of a crumbling cliff. That _clang _was like looking over it.

Xion took a few tentative steps forward. She visited other worlds in secret all the time, but this actually felt like trespassing. Or maybe it was just the anxiety she had built up from waiting too long to approach. Either way, she did not want to be in front of the creepy building at all, but it was the most likely place to find Naminé. Still, she couldn't picture anyone wanting to live here.

Riku came to the front door and saved Xion the trouble of deciding whether or not to knock. She wasn't really surprised by his appearance, but the creak of the door startled her. At least he couldn't see her jump.

"What took you so long?" Riku asked in a way that appeared more like casual conversation than an accusation, but Xion wasn't entirely sure. It was hard to tell with his blindfold and bangs hiding most of his face.

"I couldn't find Naminé," Xion admitted, not adding the various other issues, and followed Riku inside. Another step closer to the edge.

"I thought your connection to Sora would draw you here," Riku said. "Can you feel him?"

"Huh?" Xion recoiled slightly, nearly bumping into an ancient-looking dresser. She had to jog to catch up with Riku, who was still walking swiftly and dodging antiques with ease despite his blindfold. "I mean, um, yes."

Her reply held a questioning undertone. _So he's here? All my missions to this world, and I never noticed anything? _Even now she could barely feel a thread of mysterious energy wound about the Mansion. Hopefully Riku wouldn't hear the reluctance in her voice and think she wasn't ready to meet Sora.

Riku nodded thoughtfully as they walked up a fancy staircase, and Xion how thought, in a bizarre way, the Mansion was a little like a castle. It reminded her of Beast's Castle in particular, though there was no beast here. She hoped.

"In here," Riku said, holding an arm out towards a plain white door.

"You're not coming?" Xion's voice was nervous despite her efforts to hide it.

Riku shook his head. "You and Naminé need to talk alone."

"Okay," Xion said, taking a deep breath. "Thank you, Riku."

He gave a curt nod, and she thought she saw him smile a little before he left her alone with the door.

She pulled up her hood because it was the only bit of protection she had left, and though it was ridiculous to think it could shield her from her fate, it did comfort her a little. Besides, who knew how Naminé would see her without it on?

She closed her eyes for a moment, composing herself.

_I know why I'm doing this. For Roxas. For Axel._

If she was about to walk off a cliff, he was her parachute. She'd fall through the darkness for a while, but he'd be there to catch her before she hit rock bottom. They'd be together again once all this was over. She knew it.

Xion opened the door.

Everything was white, so white, blindingly white even in the shade of her hood, that she wondered if she'd walked straight into Sora's heart already. Her vision adjusted slowly, revealing a speck of color in the whiteness – a drawing. A drawing of…

_Us. Me, Roxas, and Axel… _It was obvious that the black-cloaked figures in the picture were them, even though they were little more than scribbles, like a child's drawing.

"Hello," a quiet voice said. Xion turned her attention to a table that was just as white as the rest of the room, then to the small girl sitting at the end of it. She was barely visible in the whiteness, like she was just another part of the room herself.

_So she's Naminé… _Xion decided she would have to reveal herself, and she began to lift her hood and let more of the brightness in.

"Nice to meet you… Xion," Naminé said, not looking scared or appalled by what lied under her hood.

"Naminé, you can see my face?" She sat down in the chair opposite Naminé, relieved.

Naminé nodded. "Yes."

"What do you think I should do?" It was the same question she always asked, the one nobody could ever answer.

Naminé smiled knowingly. "What do you want to do?"

Xion looked up in surprise, then turned her gaze to the drawing of her, Roxas, and Axel. _Why did she have to ask me that, of all questions? She must know it doesn't matter what I want…_

"_Well, what do want to do, Xion?"_

"_I want… I want to be… with you."_

"_I want to do whatever you want to do."_

She still wanted the exact same thing, and she couldn't say it. It was difficult to push her desires out of her mind, to keep the longing out of her voice, to keep the water out of her eyes. But she didn't break the promise she made to herself.

"I thought I knew at first. I wanted me and Roxas and Axel to be together forever." _And I still do. _She looked back at Naminé. "But then I started to realize these memories don't belong to me."

"That's because you're Kairi," Naminé replied. "At least the Kairi Sora remembers."

_I know I look like her, but I can't be her. I'm Xion. I'll never be her, I'll never be the princess, and I'll never get that perfect ending. _Not in this life. She had come to terms with that. Still, if she was going to disappear, she at least wanted to be herself when she did… _That's why I have to go back._

Xion looked down, willing herself to keep acting. "The more I remember, the more I feel like I'm in the wrong place… like… Like I need to go back."

"Back to Sora?"

Xion nodded. That much was mostly true. The memories were in the wrong place; they wanted to go back to him. She and those memories were bound together with unbreakable chains.

Naminé's brow creased sympathetically. "If you return your memories to him, you'll disappear."

That wasn't news to Xion. She'd accepted it already; she couldn't fight it. Not alone.

"And since everything about you was built on those memories…" Naminé continued, "No one will remember you when you're gone. There won't be any "you" to remember. I can't save you, Xion – even a memory of you."

Xion blinked in shock and looked down to hide it. _I'll be… forgotten? Completely?_

_No. I wasn't entirely built on Sora's memories – I had true friends. _Have _true friends. They helped me make my own memories. Naminé must not understand that._

_Roxas and Axel might lose them, but they won't be gone forever. I'll put the pieces back in place – just like Axel promised to do for me. I'll help him get back his memories of me, and then he'll bring me back. He said hearts never truly fade away, so there will still be a part of me left. We'll have a next life. We'll remember. No matter how long it takes._

"I know," Xion said, covering up her slip. She had to do this, and she couldn't let anything stop her. "I'm ready. Otherwise I wouldn't be here." She looked down sadly, realizing something. "Roxas belongs with Sora, too." He also held Sora's memories. Not as much as her, but if he had absorbed his memories through her, Sora might need him in order to wake up. "But… I don't think he would understand. Not yet."

_And I can't take Axel's last friend away from him so soon, either, even if it would make me less alone inside Sora._

Naminé nodded. "He can't feel Sora. But he will."

Xion couldn't look Naminé in the eyes even when she made her last request. "Naminé, will you watch over Roxas when I'm gone?" The girl knew so much, and although she didn't know everything, she would surely make the truth easier for him to bear when he was ready for it. Axel wouldn't tell him, not after his promise. "You won't be alone. I asked somebody else to look after him, too. It's just… there isn't anything else I can do for him."

Axel would be strong enough, even if it was hard on him. He was prepared. Roxas didn't know anything about what had to happen. _Maybe I should've tried to explain it to him… But he couldn't understand. Not like Axel._

"Alright," Naminé agreed. Xion hoped Roxas would be friends with her for the time he had left. Naminé must be so lonely, in this huge mansion, and Roxas himself would end up pretty alone.

"Thank you…" Xion kept her head low, out of things to say.

"If you're ready, let's go see Sora."

_This is it, I guess… _It was easy to accept something when you were far enough away from it, but now it was like she had one leg held out over the abyss, the other holding her weight as she balanced at the edge. A breeze could push her off the cliff.

Unless it blew in the opposite direction.

"Naminé, they've found us!" DiZ yelled as he corridored into the room, startling Xion, who had never seen the mummy-wrapped man before, so much that she jumped. "They are on their way! That blasted puppet led them right to our doorstep! See what you get for trusting it?"

Xion didn't waste time feeling offended; she knew who 'they' was. Axel was coming, and that meant he would try to bring her back, which meant he wouldn't stop for anyone but, hopefully, her. If she could convince him completely.

She knew Axel, and Axel was stubborn.

"I'll get rid of them!" She nearly pushed her chair over as she made a dash for the corridor she had opened.

Naminé stood up to stop her, but she was too late. Xion had to face Axel this last time.

_Why did he have to come now? Why am I still just a little happy that he did? _

Every good sky diver knew that it was disastrous for a parachute to open too early.

XXX

Xion's gaze whipped back and forth along with her hood's drawstrings as she tried to find where Axel would appear. Sure enough, a corridor opened just outside the Old Mansion gate, a few yards away from her.

"Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?" Axel complained, stepping out of the portal. He wanted Xion back so much it hurt, but to be the one to do it, after he had let her go… At least her letter had said she wanted to come back. Maybe he had a chance.

Xion's lips twitched into a sad frown. "Axel…" she trailed off, not sure what to say.

"Xion…" _This close to her, but so far away._ "What are you gonna do?"

Not what she _wanted _to do. What she _would _do.

"I've decided that I have to go back to where I belong," was Xion's final answer.

He put his hands on his hips. "Well, to be honest, I always felt that was best, right from the very beginning." He had just hoped she would say she belonged with him, but she clearly meant to go back to Sora. It was right for her to be where she thought she belonged, but…

"But you know, it still really bugs me. Something about this just _stinks._" Axel clenched a fist, knowing that '_stinks_' didn't even begin to cover it.

_Why does Xion have to die? Why does it have to be her? Fate and its sick jokes, letting me love again just to break my heart when she has to leave…_

"It's for the good of everyone," Xion said in a quiet but firm voice. Her eyes bored into his, holding a determination that was unwavering despite the saltwater that hid behind them.

"But how do you know that?" Axel asked with a toss of his head. _Why does she have to look at me like that? Like I'm hurting her just by being here…_ He suppressed a growl. "Everybody thinks they're right…"

"This is right."

"They're gonna destroy you!" Axel yelled.

His breath caught in his throat as she summoned her Kingdom Key.

"Please don't hold back, Axel. Promise."

Her desperate eyes called out to him, but she suddenly seemed farther away. A whole battleground apart.

"_What's your problem!?" _Axel yelled at the top of his lungs, so loudly the next world over could've heard it. He slumped afterwards, breathing heavily.

"You both… think you can do whatever you want. Well, I'm _sick of it._" He stood straighter and glared piercingly at Xion. She just kept _standing there,_ so vulnerable-looking behind her keyblade and the invisible walls she'd built around her heart, and he couldn't take it. She couldn't just pretend to be invincible when everything was crashing down.

He held out an arm, letting fire whirl around it until it became a blazing chakram.

"Go on, you just keep running. But I'll always be there to _bring you back!" _

His rage turned to burning fury, not at Xion, but at the entire situation. Maybe at the universe itself. He lunged forward, driven to fight because it was the only thing he could do to let it out.

Xion blocked the chakram, knocking it out of Axel's hand and into the grass as she slashed forward at his legs. He jumped back and prepared to throw his other weapon while the first burned up and reappeared in his hand.

"Why are you doing this?" Axel yelled, letting fire blaze around the spot where he stood, but not too close to her. "Why do you want to die so badly?"

"It's… my only choice," Xion said weakly. "The right choice. I won't let anyone die because of me."

Roaring, he flung another chakram, which she also knocked away, and he slashed at her keyblade. She blocked, but the force pushed her backwards, her boots struggling to keep traction in the grass that was beginning to burn. She shot off a blizzara that she knew wouldn't harm him much, if it all. It melted before even reaching him.

"But _you'll _die!"Sparks flew up from where the key and chakram connected. "You might be noble enough to let that happen, but I'm not!"

He clashed weapons again, panting, and she stood her ground, letting him exhaust his anger. A sharp _clang _reverberated when the metal hit, so much like the clanging of closing gates.

Xion stayed the defensive as they continued to battle, silent except for an occasional cry of pain and cure spell. No words she could think of would change his mind.

It felt like the fight would never end – They wouldn't attack hard enough to injure beyond what a potion could heal, but neither would back down. Still, they were both worn down, little by little, by the steady exchange of blows and spells, by the hurt building up in their hearts.

Eventually Axel's flames began to die down, bright flickers fading to embers fading to ashes. The anger waned with his energy until all that was left was a cold sadness.

"Is this not hurting you at all?" He asked, arms hanging limply, his grip loose on his chakrams.

She swiped at him feebly, but her keyblade drooped before reaching him. "Of course it does," she whispered, trying to keep her weakness from showing. Her whole body shook from the effort of holding back tears.

"Then why are you doing it?" Axel asked viciously, tensing for another attempted blow, but when it didn't come, he went on in a softer, resigned voice. "You really want to leave me, don't you."

"Axel, it's not that simple." She took a step forward, reaching out to him, but then she pulled back and looked away. "I have to go, or you have to destroy me. I'll only hurt you if I stay."

Axel looked at the ground, sight blurring with water. "I didn't want to have to this, Xion. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wanted to be the best I could for you, but I'm not. I failed. I'm as selfish as I've always been, and I have to bring you back. Even if you hate me for it."

He straightened up, and for the first time Xion looked truly intimidated by his piercing gaze, her azure eyes wide. He had to look away; he couldn't think about the pain he was causing her.

_I was… the best thing that ever happened to him? He thinks that, even now? _"I don't hate you, Axel. I know you're mad, and I know you think you're doing the right thing, but I can't let you take me back." She stood up as straight as she could. "Please, let me go!"

He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Xion, but I can't do what you want me to do this time. I promised I'd bring you back."

"Not yet! Not until after I joined with Sora!" He didn't think it was possible, but her eyes grew wider, shadowed with fear.

His fists tightened around his chakrams. She held up her keyblade, shaking.

"I can't let you die, even if it means we have to be enemies."

"If I go back to the Organization, I'll die anyway, and Roxas will too! They've only kept me alive this long to make me fight him. They just want to use me. You can't make me go back there, Axel, please!"

"Roxas… Roxas is already gone. They can't make you fight him. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you, Xion. I won't," he vowed. "But I have to do this. I'm sorry, Xion. I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me." _Not that I deserve to be forgiven._

Axel sprinted forward with his last burst of energy, clashing his chakrams with her keyblade with a force fueled purely by determination to defy fate. Xion's strength held for a moment, but now that he had stopped pulling his punches, she couldn't defend against the strike completely. He was too powerful for her. Her keyblade slipped, and the hilt jabbed her in the stomach as she fell backwards.

"I won't give in!" She stood frailly, summoning pillars of light to lace through the battlefield. Axel flinched from the brightness. He held his hand in front of his face to block the light, and he couldn't see in time to dodge a column that struck him. It burned with an energy different from his fire, like being pierced with a beam of starlight. More pillars rained down on him, bringing him to the brink of unconsciousness.

"I didn't want to do this any more than you did," Xion whispered, but the sound was drowned out by the raging beams.

"Xion… I'm still sorry."

_So am I, Axel. _

Her limit ran out and she collapsed, having used the last of her strength. She didn't try to fight the exhaustion; she was beaten, and she knew it. Her loss didn't disappoint her. She was just sad that after everything they'd been through, Axel still didn't understand enough to let her go. If she was honest, she had guessed he would be stubborn to the end. It hurt that she was proven right.

On his last legs, Axel caught her in his arms. She was just conscious enough to mentally thank him for carrying her gently and not like the broken doll she was. He staggered with lightheadedness as he held her close and barely walked through a dark corridor.

_I wish there could've been any way to save you but this. _He wanted to place a light kiss on her cheek, but he didn't deserve to do it. Guilt gnawed in the pit of his stomach. Once she woke up, she would never trust him again. _I won, but everything's ruined. There was really no way for either of us to win…_

He lost his footing as he stepped out of the corridor. The walls spun; his vision began to go dark. _When did she get strong enough to wear me out like this?_

"Man… Why you always gotta… cause me… trouble…"

He passed out on the castle hall's floor with her still clutched in his arms.


	13. What's Left of Me Now

Xion shivered violently, lying flat on her back. _Why is it so cold? I was warm when I fell asleep – wait, when did I fall asleep? _ She recalled the events that occurred before she was knocked unconscious. _Axel won… Did he take me here? Is this the castle? _

If it was the castle, he hadn't brought her to her room. This wasn't her bed. The Organization's mattresses were certainly not among the softest in the universe, but what she was on top of was hard as rock.

No, not rock, metal. Ice cold metal. It felt like it was sucking the warmth from her, draining her energy…

But she was wrong about that too. She was shivering from too _much _energy, and while she was still exhausted, a new reservoir of raw power was flowing into her. It hurt like freezing fire.

Startled by the realization, Xion opened her eyes.

They quickly widened in horror at what she saw – machines, devices, buttons, wires: a lab, jarring her dormant memories of where she was created. She tried to sit up and quickly realized she was strapped to the metal surface. Even with the power she was gaining, she couldn't break them, but she struggled with all her might.

"So little Poppet wants to put up a fight." Xigbar appeared in front of her, chuckling. "Looks like her programming is only skin deep."

She tried to touch her face, but her arms were bound. "What do you mean?" She yelled. What was going on? Were they – they were _reprogramming _her?

"You look just like _him _now." Xigbar replied vaguely, but Xion understood. They were trying to turn her into Sora for good.

"Why are you doing this?" She threw her weight to the side of the lab table, if that was what the metal surface was, but the force wasn't enough to tip it over.

"Silence," a cold voice said from farther away. "It is nearly finished."

She knew that voice. _Saïx. _"No! Let me go!"

"You will be free soon enough," droned a slow voice she had not heard often, but she knew it had to be Xemnas. Sure enough, the Superior of the Organization walked into her line of sight next to Xigbar. "Free to destroy Roxas."

"What?" She gasped, then coughed at the toxic smell of chemicals. "I would never do that! He's my best friend!"

"Ridiculous," Saïx scoffed, turning a knob on a device floating next to her. She strained to see it but her muscles stopped responding and tensed as the painful flood of energy increased, accompanied by flashes of memories that didn't belong to her. Sora's memories of him and Kairi, happy memories, sorrowful memories, memories filled with love, memories filled with hate for the enemies who had stolen the girl he loved from him. For the first time Xion could truly understand what Sora felt at having to leave Kairi and why he went to sleep to remember her, as well as what she felt at having forgotten him on Destiny Islands. All the memories were laid bare inside her heart, tearing at the framework of her mind.

_Axel… and Roxas… will they miss me like that? _The thought hurt her as much as Sora's memories did.

"You will defeat Roxas, and you will build my Kingdom Hearts," Xemnas declared.

"Oi, _our _Kingdom Hearts, Xem," Xigbar corrected. "Wouldn't want to forget all your underlings in your multiverse-domination plan," he added more quietly so Saïx wouldn't hear, but Xion did.

_I knew Xemnas was planning something awful, but to take over the universe? Why would he use Kingdom Hearts for that? Doesn't he want his heart back? _Xion wondered. _Does Axel know? He shouldn't have brought me back!_

She cried out something unintelligible, only earning her a reprimand from Saïx to stop faking fear as he pushed up her sleeve and clamped something around her wrist.

"To stop this puppet from pulling its own strings," he muttered. The cuff capped off the power, focused it. She stopped struggling.

"Axel… why couldn't you let me go…" she murmured, limp on the sheet of cold metal.

"Why would he disobey orders for a broken doll?" Saïx's voice was harsher than she had ever heard it.

"Because… because, he…" _He loves me, or loved me once. Does he still? Surely… surely he didn't know _this_ would happen? He was trying to protect me, he couldn't have known, I trust him… He wouldn't have helped me so long just to betray me. He must've thought he could stop this from happening. He can be so stubborn… _

Xigbar laughed as Saïx clamped a brace on her other wrist. "I bet you wish you knew, Moony."

Now that the other cuff was on, the force came back, channeled into a focused form. A pulsing sound beat into her mind, numbers and codes flashing behind shut eyes. It was raw rage, rage against Roxas, against the real Sora.

_I should be him, _she thought vehemently. _I'm stronger. Stronger than Roxas, too. I don't need them, don't need anyone, not even Axel—_

She snapped out of it briefly, trying to assert her free will even though red kept assaulting the edges of her vision, tainting her mind.

Saïx ignored Xigbar's comment. "The reprogramming is complete," he announced, removing both cuffs. The violent thoughts stayed; if anything, they became more overwhelming.

"Saïx, Xigbar, you are dismissed."

With a nod, Saïx left the room.

"I'll be rooting for you, Poppet." Xigbar waved and left as well. "I'll bet Flamsilocks is too. Wouldn't want to let him down, would you?"

Xion tuned him out as best she could and closed her eyes tightly, so hard she saw spots. _I can't give in, I won't give in-_

"No. _i. _It is time you fulfilled your purpose." She refused to look into Xemnas's amber eyes. "Take what is left of Roxas. Become the true Sora."

"No! I want to be me! I want—"

"What you want is of no importance," Xemnas cut her off, opening a corridor. "Your destiny is to stop Sora from waking and to gather my kingdom, and I shall rule over the heart and the entire universe with it."

"What about the other members? They just wanted their own hearts back!" Xion opened her eyes and let out her energy by yelling rather than pulling against her bonds. She needed to stay restrained. If she let the power go, she would enter that corridor and find Roxas. She knew he was close to where it led to; she could feel it. She didn't know how long she could hold the power under control even though it wasn't getting stronger anymore.

Xemnas smiled eerily, and Xion shrunk back against the table. "They have never known the truth. If they had, they would have felt the stirrings of new hearts budding within themselves."

She didn't have time to process what he said before he dissipated her bonds. As hard as she fought, her programming forced her to walk through the corridor, which led her to Twilight Town.

_Drain him, take what is mine, become whole, fight, fight, kill —_

_Breathe… hold back… _She felt like exploding. But she wouldn't. If she could hold back just enough, Roxas could win. _Calm… breathe… _Her gaze rested on the ice cream stand. The comfortable sight helped her stay in control, and she bought two sea-salts as quickly as she could.

_Hold back… hold back for one last ice cream…_

XXX

The moment he woke up, Axel knew something was dreadfully wrong.

_Not like I-forgot-to-turn-in-my-mission-report- and-Saïx's-gonna-bite-my-head-off wrong, it's like I-shouldn't-be-here-someone-needs-me wrong – Xion!_

He bolted up in his bed, shoving off the covers and knocking over a glass of water on his nightstand that made a wet puddle on the floor. What was it doing there? _What am I doing here? I passed out on the floor in the hall, and I was carrying Xion… What happened to her?_

He corridored to her room. "Xion! Xi!" Nothing. _Maybe she's on a mission? No, they would've let her rest after everything that happened. Where is she? _

Panic rose in his throat, and though he tried to tell himself he was overreacting, he flung the door open and ran out as fast as he could.

_Xion's strong; she wouldn't want me to worry about her like this, but… She didn't want to come back, she must hate me, maybe she's already gone again, or maybe the Organization did something to her like she said they would, but I didn't listen, I was too busy sleeping to watch out for her, such a stupid, stupid, _idiot, _what if I hurt her worse than I thought– _

His flurry of _buts _and _maybes _distracted him so much that he crashed into Saïx, scattering a stack of mission reports into the air.

"Axel." Saïx didn't bother to fake annoyance as he bent down to collect the papers. "You should know better than to run in the halls."

"What are you, an elementary school teacher?" Axel retorted.

"Why are you in such a hurry? You should still be resting. You've been unconscious since yesterday afternoon."

"What?" Axel said incredulously. _She could easily be gone by now! _"Since when have you wanted me to slack off?"

"The other members have already returned from their missions. I did not assign you one today," Saïx replied, picking up more mission reports. "You didn't answer my question. What must you do so urgently?"

"Where's Xion?" Axel asked, ignoring the question while still answering it in a way. Saïx stayed silent. "I followed my orders; I brought her back! Now where is she?"

"Are you assuming I know where the creature wandered off to this time?"

Even though Saïx didn't show any emotion, Axel had known him long enough to be able to tell when he was hiding something. "Don't act like you don't know! Did something happen to her?"

"That information is classified," Saïx said curtly, standing up with his tidy stack of reports.

Axel narrowed his eyes, and his hands balled themselves into fists. "What do you mean it's 'classified'? Tell me where she is!"

Saïx turned to him with a piercing stare. "The puppet is no longer your responsibility. Let things run their course."

"You think I'm worried about my _responsibilities?" _Axel's voice grew louder. "I care about her!"

Saïx shook his head. "Do you hear yourself, Axel? Without a heart you can care for nothing, much less a puppet."

"She's not a puppet to me," he murmured softly, looking down. "I don't expect you to understand. You don't know her, but I do. I _will_ protect her." He looked Saïx in the eyes. "What I'm asking for isn't difficult. I know you know where she is, Saïx!"

"Why, Axel, if I didn't know you better, I'd think…" Saïx trailed off. Axel held his gaze, daring him to go on. "…that you…"

"That I what?"

"This is ridiculous. You are a Nobody, and I will not give out Number XIV's location." Saïx began to walk off, carrying his papers with him. Axel's body became rigid with anger.

With a growl, he ran in front of Saïx and grabbed a fistful of his collar, shoving him against the wall. The way his expression stayed completely blank only enraged Axel more.

"I'm _sick of this!" _He yelled. If he had grabbed Saïx's neck instead of his collar, the blue-haired man wouldn't have been able to breathe.

"Let go of me, Number VIII," Saïx said evenly, like he barely cared that his ex-best friend had him pinned to a wall. "Your reputation has been slipping as it is. Don't add another strike to your record."

"I don't freaking _care _about my _reputation! _I care about _Xion, _and I'm sick and tired of you trying to tell me I don't have a heart and that I can't love her!" Axel panted but didn't relax his grip. _There's no taking that back later. _It felt good to get it out, whatever the consequences might be.

Saïx blinked. "What…?"

"You heard every word I said. Now _tell me where to find her!"_

Axel and Saïx's fierce stare-off lasted nearly a whole minute.

"You are clearly not thinking straight. Return to your room and rest for tomorrow's mission," Saïx ordered.

"Shut up, Saïx, _shut up!" _Flames licked up Axel's arms, reaching for the blue-haired man. "I thought for one second you might still have enough respect for our friendship to give me one _tiny piece_ of information to find my best friend, but you couldn't do that, could you? You couldn't just set your ignorant judgments of her aside long enough to help me out! Well, I don't give a Shadow's antenna about what you say. She's more of a real person than any of us, not that you'll ever know. You never tried to see her as more than a doll, but I have! If you want to prove you still care about me as a friend, tell me where she is!"

"Don't fool yourself, Axel." Saïx broke out of his grip and smoothed out his coat, patting the few places that were trying to catch fire. "You have always been a convincing actor, but you're still a Nobody, and you will be a Nobody until the day we complete Kingdom Hearts. Xion, on the other hand, is a puppet. It will never be whole. Its fate is to be destroyed."

"No freaking way am I going to let that happen," Axel said firmly, his flames spreading across his chest and down his coat without burning it. Embers singed Saïx's paperwork, and the sheets curled in on themselves like they were trying to hide from the fiery specter. "_Tell me where she is."_

Saïx sighed, about the most fake emotion he'd shown through the entire argument. "It doesn't matter what you think you feel for the creature. You'll be too late. Roxas is destroying it in Twilight Town as we speak. There, now you have your answer. Stop burning my papers."

Axel quickly opened a corridor to the clocktower. "I'll figure out something. It can't be too late." _I should have listened to her and Roxas; it wasn't safe for her here. They were only trying to use her, and Saïx must've been a part of it… Please, please don't let it be too late…_

Saïx stared after him as he left. "So that's why he would choose the puppet…"

XXX

"Who are you… again? It's weird. I feel like I'm forgetting something really important." Roxas staggered forward across the concrete, all of his strength exhausted.

"You'll be… better off now… Roxas." Xion collapsed into his arms, splintering into crystalline shards – Memories.

_This is the end… of this life. _Strangely, she wasn't scared. Not very sad, even. She had finally accomplished her purpose: to go back to where she belonged, and to save the people she loved from herself. Roxas and Axel. Part of her wanted to give him a huge chewing out for being too stubborn to accept her fate, but the other part wanted to hug him for trying so hard.

But that would have to wait for the next life. Surely he and Roxas would have to remember her then.

Roxas's fingers brushed his forehead, like they were trying to draw the memories out of his mind. "Am I… the one who did this to you?"

"No… It was my choice… to go away now. Better that, than to do nothing… and let Xemnas have his way. I belong with Sora."

_These memories belong to him. Whether I want to be a part of him or not, my existence is tied to those memories. _There was no point in feeling bitter about it. It was too late.

"And now, I am going back… to be with him," she said, her voice growing fainter, a roughness like sandpaper creeping in. "Roxas…"

She placed a hand on his, willing him to get what she was about to say memorized, even if he forgot everything else.

"I need you… to do me a favor. All those hearts that I've captured… Kingdom Hearts… set them free."

Roxas frowned. "Kingdom Hearts… Free them?"

Xion knew it would be difficult for him, but she had a feeling the task would require a keyblade wielder. This would have to be Roxas's mission, and she had to finish giving her last wishes to him. He needed her.

Her legs started to lose feeling as they crystallized, and Roxas gasped.

"It's too late… for me to undo my mistakes. But you can't let Xemnas… have Kingdom Hearts. You can't."

The crystals reached hungrily up her body, devouring her in icy numbness.

"Good-bye, Roxas. See you again. I'm glad… I got to meet you." Xion looked up at the clocktower, thinking of the other person she was glad to meet. Did she imagine it, or was it a flicker of black and red that she saw duck behind the ledge?

"Oh… and of course, Axel too." It wouldn't be fair to Roxas to tell him how much Axel meant to her, but it also wasn't fair to leave him out. The three of them were meant to be together. "You're both my best friends."

_I love you both so much,_ she thought, placing a hand on his cheek to comfort him. _If only you knew enough about love for me to tell you…_

"Never forget. That's the truth."

It was the last thing she needed to say. Her eyes closed as she dropped her hand, but he caught it and held on desperately.

"No! Xion… Who else will I have ice cream with?" Roxas asked, pleading with her to stay.

_Roxas, you doof…_ She would've laughed if she still had control over her body, though he hadn't meant to be funny. _Eating ice cream's about all we know of friendship, but there's so much more. Someday the three of us will have all the time in the worlds to figure it out._

The crystals finished encasing her body. As she iced over, a warm light surrounded her in a comforting glow, but it couldn't push the numbness away.

_It's funny, in a weird sort of way. I'm breaking into pieces to become whole._

_Axel, if it was you up there… No, I know it was you. Keep some of these pieces for me, okay? Even if you forget, the memories will live on inside you. I'll be with you, like I'll be with Roxas and Sora. I won't leave you._

The ice and light embraced her with open arms, whisking her fragments off into the sky.

Finally, she was headed home.

XXX

"Nngh…" Axel groaned, collapsing onto his knees as he came out onto the clocktower.

_What am I doing here? I had to save something… no, some_one, _but who...? Xion!_

How could he forget? What was wrong with him? He scrambled over to the ledge, peering down.

Roxas held Xion in his arms as pieces of light flaked off of her. The first thing Axel felt was jealousy that Roxas got to hold her in her last moments, but it was quickly replaced by guilt and then horror that she was _dying._

His throat constricted, like it was trying to choke him. All he could do was stare, frozen in his kneeling position, at Xion and the shining shards floating up. She was saying something to Roxas that he couldn't hear from so high up. She nearly looked at him, but he hid behind the ledge, too ashamed to let her know he was there.

_This is… this is all my fault… How could I fail at what mattered most?_

He wished he could be down there to melt the ice encasing her body, to warm her back to life, but he was just as frozen. Even if he could, would she want him to try? He would probably just mess things up again. It was her choice to go back to Sora, before he had tried to interfere. It was what she wanted to do…

Axel wanted to scream. _She couldn't have wanted this! She didn't deserve to be a puppet; she deserves to have her own life! To be happy!_

None of the emotions inside him found a way out of his head. He knelt still as a statue, the light in his eyes growing dimmer with every piece that broke off of her.

_I promised to put those pieces back in place. _As if he was in a trance, he walked slowly to the edge and reached out an arm. The light crystals were drawn to his hand like moths to a candle. They gave off clear chiming sounds as they clustered together, reminding him of her laugh that he longed desperately to hear.

Glowing brighter, the shards formed ribbons that streamed from his hand, wreathed down his arm, and dissolved into him with a fuzzy afterglow.

He put a hand over his chest on the spot where the light had entered. It hurt a little, but some part of him felt free. His throat lost some of its tightness; he got dizzy for a moment and steadied himself by keeping a vice grip on the ledge.

_"What do I do, Axel?"_

_"Well what do you want to do, Xion?"_

_"I want… I want to be… with you. You and Roxas."_

"_You're way too good to be friends with me, you know that?"_

_"You're not so empty either, Axel."_

_"Stealing my catchphrase now? What'll you steal next? My heart?"_

_"Well, then you can have mine."_

_"So… You said Jesus died for everyone, right? Even… replicas like me?"_

_"If anyone deserves a next life, it's you."_

_"Snow angels have nothing on you."_

_"Are we a 'couple'?"_

_"If you want us to be. Got it memorized?" _

_"I could never replace your heart."_

_"But you already have."_

"_Don't forget, we'll be together forever…"_

_"…As long as we remember each other."_

_"Yep. And I've got __you __memorized."_

_"And I have you memorized, too."_

_"Axel, what's love?"_

"…_When you want to be with someone forever, and you'd do anything to protect that person." _

_"I love you, Xion."_

_"I love you too, Axel."_

_"How do you always know the right things to say?"_

_"I just know how you think."_

_"They look like stars, don't they?"_

_"My star is brighter."_

_"I promised I'll let you go, but I'll find a way to bring you back."_

_"You're perfect enough for me."_

_"Tell me – Tell me if I do this right."_

_"You did that perfectly."_

"_You're headed home."_

_He smiled wistfully at the memories, but they quickly faded into the deep corners of his mind, out of reach. _

_"Is it because I don't deserve these memories? Is that why I'm forgetting?"_

_"I can't save you, Xion – even a memory of you." __Xion's memory of Naminé's statement, ironically, came to him at that moment._

_No… __Axel sat down, dropping his face into his hands and rubbing his forehead. __But I have her memorized. I would never forget Xi-_

The rest of her name wouldn't come to him. He blanked, wracking his brain for that tiny syllable.

_No! It's Xion! I have to remember, I _have _to._

"Xion, Xion, Xion, Xion…" He repeated her name out loud, over and over and over and over. "Xion, Xion, Xion…"

He had to stop to take a breath, and his memory spell was broken. He pounded his fist on the ledge.

"I don't care what Naminé said! I'm going to remember!"

He stood up, opening a corridor to her room. Maybe there would be something there to help him remember. He dashed through, but he stopped abruptly when he arrived.

Everything was gone. The bed, the extra coats in the closet, her seashells, everything.

"What…?" He didn't have time to wonder. Her face was blurring, times they spent together fading.

_My journal!_ For once he thanked Saïx for making them record their mundane lives. He rushed to his own room and dug around in his nightstand drawer for the hardcover notebook.

Flipping through the pages, he searched for her name. To his surprise and horror, there were several gaps in his entries where he had written about her, like the universe was trying to erase her entire existence.

"Am I going insane?" No, he knew he and Roxas had been friends with her, that she was special. He knew that he had done something to hurt her, and now she was gone.

Sitting on his bed with a sigh, he ran his thumb over the edges of the pages, flipping them repeatedly. No more memories came to him. Eventually he tossed the journal aside, lying down with his arms tucked behind his head, one leg stretched out and the other bent at the knee.

"How did this happen?" He wondered aloud.

He sat up with a grunt of frustration, glancing back and forth as if he'd see a trace of her if he looked hard enough.

"Hn?" An envelope caught his eye. He got up to investigate, cocking his head sideways in confusion, but he shrugged it off and opened the letter.

Except it wasn't a letter. All that was inside was a WINNER stick.

Axel stared at it like it was a relic of an ancient world. From the color of the wood, he could tell it was at least several months old.

"Roxas…" Of course he would have to leave something like that behind. Axel shook his head, wondering what to do with it. He decided to set it back down and pick up his journal again, hoping the words wouldn't erase themselves.

"_Roxas left. It's so like him to just leave that WINNER ice cream stick behind. Come tomorrow, I'll probably get the order to hunt him down, but leaving that here makes it feel so permanent. I wish the three of us – three? No. That the two of us could share some ice cream again someday. That's what it is to be friends."_

Axel wondered what had made him write 'three' at first. It was always just him and Roxas, right?

_Wait, wasn't I trying to remember… _What had he been trying to remember? There was a pain in his chest when he thought about it, but that didn't make any sense. He didn't have anything in there to feel pain with.

_But it still hurts. How? _He rubbed his chest, wondering if he was imagining things, and stowed his journal and WINNER stick away in his drawer. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he caught sight of the old, worn, red-leather covered Bible underneath the other tokens of his past. He carefully took the timeworn tome out from under his DS that sat hiding it.

It had that old musty book smell, like rotting wood. Maybe that was just from sitting in the drawer. He flipped open the front cover and read what his mom had written in the book ages ago.

"_To my dear son, Lea. Never forget that I love you, and so does your Father in Heaven. When you feel alone, read the words of these ancient prophets from a distant world and know that they are meant for all of us across the universe, even you. Let them be the light when you are in darkness. Love, Mom."_

That was his mom, alright. She made everything sound magical, even boring old books. Still, it couldn't hurt to read it.

"Well, I sure feel like I'm in the dark now." _I've been trying to figure things out by myself, and that hasn't gotten me anywhere. Maybe Mom was right. _He felt a bit of regret that he hadn't paid a whole lot of attention when she tried to teach him those kinds of things. Not knowing where to start, he flipped to a random page and saw three verses that had been highlighted from his mom's scripture studying.

"_For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."_

Axel reread it in confusion. _What's that supposed to mean? He's not going to let 'fate' ruin my life? _It would be nice if he could remember what, other than Roxas running away, had made him feel so hopeless in the first place.

"_Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you._

"_And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."_

Sighing, Axel set the book aside. _So what are we supposed to do if we don't have hearts, huh? Are we doomed forever?_

Bitter as he was at that moment, a whisper of peace came to him. "_But you do have a heart, remember?" _It seemed to say with a gentle, warm feeling.

_And I got that heart because of… _There was someone. Someone besides Roxas. So close, and yet the person's name and face, anything about him or her at all, were still unreachable. _…if I can't remember, I might as well try to ask._

Axel knelt down beside his bed.

"Dear God," he was almost surprised he still remembered how his mom had taught him to start a prayer, "I know I haven't talked to you in a while. Well, more than a while. Sorry."

The apology sounded lame, but he couldn't think of anything better, so hefurrowed his brow and went on. "I've been really stupid since becoming a Nobody, and probably a long time before that, just not as much. I followed orders that made me destroy people just because their existence wasn't convenient. I justified it by saying that I was doing them a favor by making them nothing instead of Nobody, but I was wrong. The person who I hurt was a Nobody or something like that, but she was special to me, and I miss her…"

_Her. _He wanted to ask more questions about who she was, but he had to finish getting his mistakes off his chest. "Please, if you think I deserve it at all, which I probably don't… could you forgive me for getting Vexen and Zexion killed? And for using the Riku Replica, while I'm at it? He was a replica, but he shouldn't have just been a tool. The girl I forgot about was a replica too, but she was way more than that."

Bit by bit he was piecing his memories back together as he spoke. It hurt to humble himself, to admit his mistakes out loud whether or not God really was listening, but afterwards he felt like a bag of rocks had been lifted off of him. The guilt wasn't completely gone, but he felt like he now had a chance to make things right. How to do that exactly, he didn't know, but he could start by trying to save the girl he couldn't remember, who was apparently a replica.

"Thank you. Just like Mom said, you haven't given up on me." He smiled. "I have one last thing to ask – who am I forgetting? I know she was my friend, my best friend, and… and I hurt her, and… She's gone, isn't she…" That fact weighed heavily on his conscience. "…Who is she? Is there any way I can save her? Please, help me find a way. Oh, and if she's with you, and I know she deserves to be if she's already in the next life, tell her I'm sorry. Will you forgive me for that, too? I never wanted to hurt her, but I tried to save her in the wrong way. I was wrong, and I'm sorry." He searched for any other things to say, but that was all he could think of. "I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

For a little longer he stayed still, trying to absorb the threads of remembrance floating around him.

_The pieces are there. All you have to do is find them._

He opened his eyes wide and stood up quickly. "Find! That's it!"

Carefully he pulled a fragile charm out of his pocket and let it lay in his open palm. A Wayfinder. _His _Wayfinder, crafted of beautiful red seashells and a hard-won challenge sigil. Crafted (with a little of his help) by the most beautiful and sweet girl he had ever known.

"Xion," he said suddenly, blinking with the revelation. His Wayfinder glowed faintly in approval. He thanked God with all his heart for letting him remember. "I don't care what Naminé told her. I won't forget again."

Suddenly his Wayfinder glowed again, and he felt an overwhelming urge to sleep. Since he wasn't about to let go of the one tangible proof of her existence, he held it as he changed out of his coat and into a clean pain of boxers, throwing the bed covers over him.

Axel drifted off to sleep with the Wayfinder clutched protectively against his chest.


	14. The Light Known as You Finds Me

_Who… am I? What am I… here for?_

Everything was dark and empty. She couldn't feel a thing. Maybe she didn't even have a body to feel with; she couldn't see herself, and she couldn't move.

_I am… I'm…_

"_Well what do you want to do, Xion?"_

That memory was the key that unlocked her sight. She saw that she did have a body: gloved hands that were held in front of her face, a body cloaked in a flowing black coat, feet covered by pointed boots. All around her was liquid darkness that hurt her lungs to breathe, but far below something glowed.

_I'm Xion, and I'm here for…_

"_You're headed home."_

…_I'm here to go home._

She began to fall, spiraling through the depths towards the faint light, and it rushed up to meet her. Her boots made a soft _click _on the smooth, hard surface as she touched down.

_Is this it? _She glanced back and forth at the circle of dim light, and it suddenly shattered.

Her hands flew up to protect her face from the tiny shards, but there was no true danger. They were harmless, tickling lightly everywhere they touched, and instead of falling again through the broken surface, a stained glass platform was revealed from under the cracking light shards.

"Ah…" Her hand came up to her lips, realizing she could speak. "That's me, isn't it?" She said, studying the image on the platform.

The picture of her slept with her Kingdom Key in hand, the faces of her friends and others she assumed she was connected to arranged in a circle slightly above and behind her sleeping image. Sora was in the middle, with Riku, Roxas, and Axel ringing around him. Twilight Town filled the background, and seashells made a border around the circumference of the purple-tinted glass pillar.

"Is this another piece of my heart?" She asked and received no answer, not that she'd expected one. "Didn't I go back to Sora?"

That questing got a type of answer – four sets of glass circles appeared, three trailing off near the top of the picture in different directions, one leading from the bottom, like stepping stones. She picked one of the paths at the top and followed it.

The circles were large enough for her to stand on, but the gaps between them were too big to cross without jumping, and it was difficult to avoid losing her balance each time she jumped. She didn't want to find out if the darkness had a bottom the hard way.

Just when she was wondering if the path went on forever, a platform like the one she had originally landed on phased into her vision. She went faster, spurred on by curiosity.

"Roxas?" This yellow-tinted pillar held a sleeping image of her friend, again with a circle of faces, including her own.

As she ran across the platform to get a better look at Roxas's face, she suddenly collapsed, overtaken by anger. It was a scarily similar feeling to when Saïx reprogrammed her, but this time she could tell the emotions weren't her own.

"Roxas! Can you hear me?" Her yell echoed eerily, and it seemed strange to her that there was no other noise to direct the anger at. "Don't be mad! Let it go!"

The fury seemed directed towards her now that she had tried to breach Roxas's heart. She felt a flood of thoughts invade her mind.

'_I have to free Kingdom Hearts, I can't forget, so tired, need to get her back, I can't forget!' _The burning in his muscles from fighting countless Heartless became her own, and she took on his rage at the slipping memories.

"Not yet, Roxas! Xemnas will destroy you!"

Roxas's heart was closed to her; his anger drove her back. Unable to withstand it any longer, she was forced to run back across the floating glass circles to her own platform.

She panted, resting her hands on her knees. "Roxas…" Would she be able to get through to him if he wasn't so mad at everyone? Part of her heart was connected to his, so it might be possible. She'd try later, when Roxas calmed down. If he calmed down.

But first, she would see where those other paths went. Looking back on the one she just came from, she noticed that it seemed to lead from Roxas's face on the platform. So, if there were three others…

Xion's mouth split into an ear-to-ear grin. One of the trails led from the opposite side of the pillar, which she assumed was Sora's since it couldn't lead from Sora's face in the middle, but one led from Riku's face, and the last led from Axel's.

"Axel," she whispered hopefully. She dashed past his picture and leapt across the red circles as fast as her legs could carry her. The small glass platforms flew beneath her so quickly her eyes almost tricked her into thinking she wasn't moving at all, but eventually, after an amount of time that she couldn't gage, she arrived on Axel's dive platform.

Warmth suddenly surrounded her in a thick blanket. Her eyelids drooped in drowsy contentment, and she had to rub her eyes to keep herself from falling asleep on the spot.

She breathed in deeply, wiggling her frozen fingers and toes. She hadn't realized how cold she had felt until she thawed out. "And you said my heart was better?"

For a moment she simply stood there and soaked in as much of the warmth as she could.

'_-who am I forgetting? I know she was my friend, my best friend, and… and I hurt her, and… She's gone, isn't she…'_

"Axel, it's okay. I understand," she whispered. "Thank you for trying to remember me, but don't be sad. I'm still here. I'm not going to leave you."

She felt an outside force descend on her, more calming than even the warmth of Axel's heart. It cleared her mind and pushed away her worried thoughts. Even though it was quiet and still, it tugged at her heart, seeming to say that it was time to leave. Xion couldn't comprehend why; trying to speak to Axel's heart sounded like a good plan to at least try, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was needed elsewhere.

Reluctantly she turned back, pausing to take a last glance at the stained-glass Axel and the faces surrounding him. To her surprise, Saïx was depicted along with her, Roxas, and Sora. She didn't know why Axel's heart would have a connection with someone so cruel, but she left down the trail of circles and tried not to worry about it. Surely there was a decent explanation.

She shivered as she leaped from circle to circle. It would be easy to go back to Axel's platform and fall asleep there peacefully, but she couldn't sleep now. She had to do something, even if she didn't know yet what it was.

_I can probably come back later, _she reasoned, _after I do what I need to. As long as I don't have to go straight to Sora…_

A spiraling staircase rose up in front of her. The floating rectangular steps appeared in the middle of the path, leading into the darkness above. She felt warmth radiate from the Wayfinder in her pocket, and she took it out and saw that it was glowing with a purple aura.

"Up there?" Xion's gaze followed the staircase before her feet did. It ascended farther than she could see, but she kept climbing. Her legs ached and the tail end of her coat flopped against them annoyingly every time she took a step.

"How long… does this… go on?" She panted. Stopping to rest, she sat with her legs hanging over the edge of the glass step and looked down. She couldn't see the bottom of the stairs anymore. "I hope it goes somewhere…"

It had to; it couldn't have just appeared there for no reason. She just had to figure out what that reason was, and the only way to do that was to keep going.

She stood with new determination and continued to climb the spiral. Besides, the aching in her legs was nothing compared to the pain of being reprogrammed and fighting her friends. She doubted anything could hurt her beyond what she'd already survived.

She couldn't tell how long she'd been running up the stairs, which was probably better than knowing and being bored out of her mind because of it, but eventually a shape materialized at the top: A glass star with a hole in the center. It looked just as dark inside as it did everywhere else, but she was still anxious to reach it. Knowing this place, or rather, not knowing this place, it could lead to anything.

When Xion finally came to the step below it, she gripped the inside edges and pulled herself into the unknown.


	15. The Future Doesn't Scare Me At All

**A/N: I forgot to mention it a few chapters back, but the verses Axel reads are in Jeremiah 29:11-13, from the King James Bible because I like it better than the New International Version. **

Sleep isn't dark. The moment Axel closes his eyes, brilliant light floods him, painful at first, then healing, cleansing, like washing out an infected wound.

Before he has time to take a breath, the lights split away and float lazily into the air, becoming far-off specks in a sapphire sky.

"Stars… They're back?" Xion stares up at the twinkling lights in awe as she pulls herself out of the darkness and into the world she recalls from her dream. The opening disappears as soon as she steps onto the carpet of soft grass. "So this is part of my heart too…" _I'm not going to drown again, am I?_

Axel catches his breath when she rises from the ground, cloaked in starlight. So close to him. Here. Now.

She's too lost in her reverie to notice him yet, and he feels like he's intruding somehow, but he can't tear his eyes away. Every memory comes back to him in a flood. Unlike the last time he dreamt here, however, this flood is only in his head, and it washes away the barriers keeping his mind from her.

She turns around, immediately locking her sapphire eyes on his. This had to be a dream; what else could it be?

"A-Axel?" She stutters, and the stars twinkle brightly with her uncontained hope.

Without thinking, he runs towards her and places his hand on her cheek. "Xion…" Could it really be her?

Waves of tranquil emerald grass shimmer all around them as they stare into each other silently. A gentle wind blows at both of their backs, as if it's trying to push them closer together. Xion reaches up and rests her hand on top of his.

"You remembered." She smiles, lighting up their hill.

"Looks like I got it memorized, didn't I?" Axel grins back slightly, but it comes out more like a grimace. "But… is this a dream? The last dream I had here turned into the worst nightmare of my life." The grass shudders at the memory.

Xion's eyes widen. "I dreamt here too! Do you think…?"

Axel can feel her apprehension mixed with faint hope. "Maybe this really is your heart."

"No," she corrects him, speaking quickly in her excitement, "I think this is where our hearts meet. I was in this weird place with a bunch of platforms that were my heart and Roxas's and yours, and I tried to talk to you from your heart but I don't think you heard me, and something told me to go up this giant staircase that was in between, and now I'm here."

"That's some pretty crazy stuff," Axel says, chuckling softly. But everything was crazy lately. Maybe he only believes because he wants it to be true, but this strange place feels more and more real by the second.

"Well, you kept some of my memories. A part of my heart will always stay with you."

Axel flinches slightly and removes his hand from her face, looking down at the rippling grass. "And you want that? After… what I did to you?" The fronds of grass droop with his guilt.

The wind stirs restlessly as Xion looks away as well. "Could you just… tell me why? I want to hear it from you."

"Because… because I…" His mouth dries up, and his stomach twists painfully. "I was stubborn and selfish, and I thought I could fix everything, but I just made things worse. I should've listened to you. I'm sorry, Xion, I-"

He doesn't get to finish his apology. Her lips press against his, stopping him from speaking as she throws her arms around him. The breeze wraps them in a warm cocoon, and Axel just stands there while the stars flicker out of control, and he can barely put his thoughts together well enough to let his arms fall around her waist. She pulls away slightly, just enough to look into his eyes while still hugging him tightly.

"It's okay, Axel. Everything's okay." She laughs breathlessly, still almost unable to believe that they're together after everything that happened. He's apologized, and that's what matters most to her. "Thank you."

"Wha… Why are you thanking me?" His brain fuzzes uselessly.

"If you hadn't brought me back, I wouldn't have been able to tell Roxas to free Kingdom Hearts, and I wouldn't have been able to share my memories with you. We wouldn't be here."

Axel doesn't register most of her words. All he can think about is how relieved he is that she doesn't hate him. She'd promised to always love him, and even after everything… well, he's just glad she's better at keeping promises than he is.

"So you're going to forgive me, just like that? After all the time I spent beating myself up about it?"

She laughs a little at that. "You're usually the one who tells me not to beat myself up over things. Of course I forgive you; you were just a little… stubborn about trying to fix things, like you said. The important thing is that you tried, right? And now you know not to do that again."

"Xion, it's a bit late for that now…" He shakes his head. "But thank you. I need my own advice thrown back in my face every once in a while." He grins, and she laughs again, and then they're both laughing, and he holds her tight just to make sure she's real.

"This is… this is perfect." Xion smiles.

"Yeah." Axel grins, twirling a lock of her hair in between his fingers. "Are you sure I'm not dreaming?"

"Oh, you're dreaming," Xion says matter-of-factly, without even a touch of sadness. "I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I can talk to you right now. And I doubt you'll remember me when you wake up, either, but… We have this. I didn't even dream of seeing you again so soon."

"Heh, but we are dreaming, and we're seeing each other right now." He laughs. "But you're right." He doesn't have anything else to add that could come close to explaining how amazing he feels.

So he doesn't say anything. She must have the same idea, because she lifts her chin from his shoulder at the same time he leans down to kiss her again.

It's slow and sweet and soft, not tainted with desperation or fear or worry. They would both say that's the best part – not worrying about the future, because nothing that could come scares them at all.

They pull away at the same time, but it doesn't feel like anything's ending. In a way, it's their beginning.

Axel sits down in the grass, and Xion joins him. The emerald fronds bend back from underneath them as they lay out under the sea of stars, hand in hand, with the breeze ruffling their hair.

"Hey, Xion," Axel says lightly, with a hint of a grin in his voice. "You don't mind if I say something incredibly sappy for a moment, do you?"

Xion laughs, rolling over to face him. "How sappy?"

"Sappy enough to drown in," he says with a shrug, propping himself up on his elbow.

"Sure, as long as you don't mean that literally," she jokes, making him laugh. "It's not like you haven't been sappy before."

"Heh, I guess you're right about that." He gives her hand a light squeeze, then adds quietly, "Even though I won't remember you when I wake up, you'll still be with me, right? I love you, and I'd love to have you with me out there, and I wish we could be with Roxas, too, but since we can't yet… Will you promise me something?"

"Anything," Xion agrees.

"Promise you'll try to be remembered." It's an odd thing to ask, but that's all he really wants. "The memories can't just disappear. _You_ can't disappear."

"I can't just make people remember me, Axel." Xion frowns sadly, and he shakes his head.

"I know, I know, but you can try, right? I'll be trying too. It might take a long time, I don't have a clue how any of this works, but I promised to bring you back."

"That was before we knew how completely I'd disappear…"

"Xion, you can't look at me right now and tell me you're gone forever." Axel locks eyes with her, drawing out a small smile.

"I… I'll try. I want you to bring me back."

Axel smiles as well. "Thank you."

Neither of them talks for a while, they just lie back down and let the wind tickle their faces, listening to each other's breathing.

"So, Xion…" Axel speaks up again. "In the meantime, what do you want to do?"


	16. Nothing's Like Before

"I want to be with you." Xion smiles. "Other than that… I don't know. What _can _we do here?"

"Who knows?" Axel shrugs, but then a mischievous spark enters his eyes. "I've got an idea."

Before she can ask what that idea is, he tickles the breath and laughter out of her lungs.

"Axel!" She protests through her giggling, squirming out of reflex and trying to push him away, but he stops tickling to hold onto her and they roll down the hill in a tangled heap of laughter. Xion keeps trying to tickle him back while they're rolling, and the fronds of grass add to her efforts as they tumble. Axel focuses more on making sure he doesn't squish her than on winning their tickle-fight.

The rustling grass slows them to a stop at the base of the hill, where they fall apart, Xion clutching her sides and Axel pounding a fist on the ground, both still laughing hysterically. The whistling wind echoes the sound until they calm down to slight chuckling.

"Man, I missed doing dumb stuff like this," Axel says wistfully.

"Me too," Xion agrees, unconsciously linking hands with him again.

"Feels like it's been so long, but it hasn't really." He doesn't want to think about those days, the days he'll return to when he wakes up – her gone, Roxas gone, everything he'd worked to save gone… So he doesn't think about it. "We'll have to make some extra-special memories to make up for it."

Xion frowns, but Axel continues before she says anything. "I know I'll forget them, but it's just – this is all we've got, y'know? The memories will still be there. That'll just have to be good enough for now."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'll remember for both of us." Xion smiles, and he smiles back.

"I'd like that."

They're still not quite sure what to do, but they're content with walking around the emerald plains, hands linked together, talking about dumb stuff the way they used to on the clocktower with Roxas. Speaking of Roxas…

"I miss him." Xion sighs sadly. "I mean, I love being alone with you, but it feels like it's been forever since the three of us were together."

Axel nods. "I know what you mean." Even though Roxas is still alive, their friendship is hardly what it used to be. "I'm probably gonna have to bring him back tomorrow…" He winces.

"I know you'll do what's best for him," Xion says with conviction, while Axel wishes he was worthy of her trust.

_Look what I did to her, _he thinks bitterly. But he wouldn't do that again, right? He promised to look out for Roxas, and he now knows that the Organization might not be the best place for him. _What happened to her is proof of that. _He hopes he can remember enough to keep his promise.

"I know someday the three of us will be together again," she says firmly, gazing into his star-reflecting green eyes. "That's the way it's supposed to be."

"The three of us…" _But it's okay with just the two of us sometimes. Right? _He tries to keep the concern off of his face, but Xion sees it anyway and kisses his cheek.

"Just because we're all together doesn't mean me and you can't have this, right?" She asks. "Wouldn't Roxas understand?"

"I dunno… I hope so," Axel says uncertainly.

"He would. He's our best friend," she says to convince herself, then sighs. "I hope he's okay, all alone out there, wherever he is..."

"So were you, when you ran away," Axel points out, but Xion shakes her head.

"No, I was with Riku. For the most part, anyway." She scuffs a boot through the grass, kicking a few lose fronds into the wind. "I just can't help worrying about him."

Axel slides his arm around her waist. "He'll be fine. I promised I'll watch out for him." He pauses. "I'd watch out for him even if I didn't promise. That's what friends do. Don't worry."

"I can't help it." She looks up, leaning into him as they stop walking atop the hill they started out on. "…I worry about you too, you know."

"Xi…" He whispers gently, brushing her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. "You don't have to worry about me."

"I know you can take care of yourself, and me and Roxas while you're at it, but I still do." How could she not worry about the people she loves?

"Well, I worry about you too, Xion," Axel says. "That comes with having a heart. Whenever you care about someone or something, you want to keep them safe." He smiles. "But there's nothing to worry about now. C'mon, cheer up." He pulls at the corner of her lips with his thumb, making her giggle.

"Okay, okay." She pushes his hand away. "Thanks, Axel."

He gives an exaggerated bow, kissing her hand like a gentleman. "My pleasure."

Which only makes her giggle more. "Axelll…"

"What, too corny for you?" He jokes.

"I think you passed 'too corny' a long time ago," she teases, then adds after seeing his expression of mock-hurt, "It's kinda cute."

Axel rolls his eyes, trying to hide the blush staining his cheeks. The twinkling stars seem to laugh at him. "I wasn't really going for 'cute'…"

"But you are."

His lips twitch into a grin. "No, _you're _cute." He ruffles her hair, letting another giggle escape her lips. "But you don't call guys 'cute.' You can call me 'handsome' or 'charming' or even 'dashing' if you want."

"Maybe I'll just call you 'egomaniacal,' " she says with a laugh, even though she would agree with all those adjectives.

Axel sighs and flops down on the grass. _Where did she even learn that word? _"Y'know, maybe 'cute' wasn't so bad after all…"

Xion lays down perpendicular to him, resting her head on his stomach and laughing more. "So you can tease me as much as you want, but I can't return the favor?"

"…Okay, you've got me there." He laughs along, and Xion can feel it as well as hear it.

They lay like that for a while, both comfortable, smiling up at the sky. The light breeze rolls over their skin and nudges the drawstrings on their coats, and the grass waves back and forth like the tide, and it feels like the whole world is breathing around and through them, but it's still simply the two of them alone together.

_It really can't get better than this, _Xion thinks to herself, forgetting all of her earlier worries. Axel runs a hand through her hair, a simple, calming repetition.

Xion finds her gaze lost in that sea of stars, the specks that, when she stares at them long enough, seem to flow around and swirl together. With a little bit of imagination, she can find pictures in them.

"That looks like a moogle," she says.

"Huh?"

She points to a cluster of stars that suddenly brighten, like they know they're being talked about. "Right there, see, there's its pom-pom and nose."

He squints, chuckling. "A little bit." He wouldn't have noticed it at all if she hadn't pointed it out.

"Hmm… And that looks like a Shadow." She frowns, resting her hands on her stomach. The stars twinkle, shifting around to make something she likes better: an ice cream bar.

Axel blinks. "You see that too, right? My stomach's not playing tricks on me?"

"Sea-salt ice cream." Xion giggles. "I was just thinking about it. The stars here are pretty strange."

"Yeah," he agrees. "Looks like they'll do what you want them to. Why don't you try something else?"

"You think so?"

He smiles when she twists around to look him in the eyes. "You said it yourself. This place is connected to our hearts, so why not?"

"Okay, then." She squeezes her eyes shut, focusing on something that she wants to see. Axel watches in awe at the shifting points of light, like brushstrokes weaving a painting on the canvas of the night sky.

"Is that the fairy we met in Neverland?" Axel asks.

"Yep," Xion says after she opens her eyes. The pixie's image sparkles, grown to larger-than-life size, which considering life-size is about a foot tall, still isn't that big.

"Hey, Xi…" He squints at it harder, sitting up slightly. "Are you making her move on purpose?"

"No," she replies with a hint of confusion as she sits up too. The star-pixie's wings are flapping; she seems to be getting closer…

Xion gasps as the stars descend from the sky, not in a meteor shower, but in the form of the pixie that grows clearer and closer, until she's a figure of white light hovering in front of Xion's face, casting it in a bright glow.

"Um… hi?" Xion says awkwardly.

The pixie crosses her arms as if she's thinking for a moment, then flies around Axel and Xion, covering them in stardust. Axel is about to comment on how he likes this pixie better than the real one, but then she kicks him in the nose. Xion laughs while he mutters under his breath.

Then, as quickly as she appeared, the pixie flutters back to her place in the sky, and her stars dissipate back into their proper places.

Xion and Axel blink; lock eyes; grin.

"Race you to…" He glances side to side, then back to her. "Somewhere!"

The both laugh like little kids and scramble to their feet, leaping into the air without gravity weighing them down.

"You're on!"

Xion rockets off while Axel struggles to keep his legs pointed straight behind him – he'd forgotten how much he failed at flying.

_But it's more than worth it. _He finally straightens himself out and recklessly charges after the sound of her silvery laughter.

"I thought this was a race!" Xion calls back to him teasingly, twisting around in midair so she's facing him and flying backwards.

"I'm just getting started!" He has no idea where they're racing to; the only landmark for as far as he can see is the hill they appeared on, and that's behind them. Ahead, it's all waving emerald grass and deep dark skies speckled with stars. He's got plenty of time to catch up.

And he does – only instead of blowing past her like he intended, he crashes into her and they somersault through the air before crashing on the cushion of grass below.

Xion yelps at the impact, landing on top of Axel for a moment before scrambling off of him and trying to find her footing.

"Why does it seem like we keep getting injured doing stupid things…?" She mumbles to herself.

Axel chuckles, rubbing the back of his head and sitting up. "We're just like little kids, but with more ways to hurt ourselves. You okay, Xi?"

"Yeah. You?" She asks, holding out a hand to help him to his feet.

"You think a little tumble like that's gonna keep me down long?" He grins, trying to hide his dizziness but still holding her hand tighter for support.

"So you want to try again? No crashing this time?"

He quickly kisses her cheek before jumping up and floating above her (and very nearly kicking her in the head on accident, thanks to his lack of flying skills). "How do you know I didn't fly into you on purpose?"

She blushes deeply and freezes for long enough to give him a decent head start, which he wastes by looking over his shoulder to make sure she's behind him instead of covering as much distance as possible.

Shaking her head, Xion laughs and takes off after him. More than ever, he's glad that she's chasing him instead of the other way around, so much that he doesn't really want to keep flying away.

So he doesn't. Whirling around just like he did on their first flight, he catches her with open arms, throwing them both back a few feet from her momentum.

"Déjà vu?" He raises one eyebrow with a grin, and her face turns pink. "Thought you'd learn your lesson the first time."

"How do you know I didn't do that on purpose?" Xion repeats, circling her arms around him in a hug without hesitation.

He smiles and leans in close to whisper in her ear, "I was hoping you'd say that."

Then they simply float together, swaying in the light breeze that sings inside of them.

"We've come pretty far, haven't we?" Xion whispers.

Axel shifts her in his arms so he can see her eyes. "Are you talking about how far we've flown tonight, or us in general?"

She shrugs. "Both."

"Yeah," he says softly, patting her back. _We started out flying, and here we are flying again… What if I'd never taken her flying that first time, when she was alone in the Grey Area? And she wouldn't have been there if she wasn't worried about leaving, and I never would've tried this if I didn't know how little time she had left… _He hugs her close, wondering how everything turned out the way it did. "Don't ever forget I love you."

"You don't have to worry about that." She hugs him back. "You okay?"

"Mm-hmm," he hums into her hair. "Why?"

"Just checking. You spaced out for a minute." She smiles at him with a tiny speck of worry in her eyes, but he's holding her too close to see.

"Yeah, guess I was just… thinking." He stores his thoughts away and releases her. "C'mon, let's do something."

"Like what?" She asks, deciding not to question him on what he was thinking about.

"Teach me how you fly so well."

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Me? Teach you?"

"Why so surprised? You teach me things all the time," he says with a smile. _Maybe not on purpose, but she still has._ "You're not going to leave me flailing around like an idiot, are you?"

Xion giggles in spite of herself. "Axel, you're not _that _bad. Besides, I don't know if I can help you. I just do what feels right."

"You taught me how to feel before. Teach me how to feel this."

Blushing, Xion smiles modestly. "Well – I'll try."

She flies around him, adjusting his posture so that he's floating flat on his stomach with his arms against his sides, legs out straight behind him.

"Does that feel okay?" She asks.

He flies forward for a little while, all of his muscles way too tense, then rolls his eyes at the ground.

"I feel like a stick."

"You look like one, too," she teases. "Maybe you should eat more."

"I eat fine," he grumbles, hovering in a more comfortable standing-up position. "Any more ideas?"

"You've just got to feel it," Xion says. "And think of something happy, like you told me to do the first time."

"I'm already happy." Just looking at her, alive and here with him, was enough to take care of that.

Xion smiles. "Tell your body that, then. Don't be so… stiff."

"You wanted me to be stiff as a board earlier," Axel points out.

"Well, I was wrong. I'm still getting used to this whole 'teaching' thing."

"You're doing fine." He takes her hand. "Let me try again."

Breathing in and out evenly, Axel closes his eyes, fingers still twined with Xion's, and wills himself to glide through the air. He's still jerky at first, but with Xion's guidance his movements smooth out.

Together they practice spins, flips, zigzags, barrel rolls – anything they can think of until they perfect it. By the time they run out of ideas, Axel's almost as comfortable with flying as Xion.

"Thanks, Xi," he says, ruffling her hair. "Y'know, you really are a good teacher."

Xion giggles. "Maybe you taught me how to teach."

"Maybe." He grins slyly. "How 'bout a rematch now?"

"Oh, so _that _was your plan. Learn all my tricks and _then _challenge me."

"You know me too well."

After a quick kiss on her temple, he shoots farther upwards – he knows her well enough to know she'll follow.

The play their game of aerial-tag through the upper levels of the atmosphere, laughing and teasing and loving every second of it. Axel can now keep up with Xion and follow her turns and most other evasive maneuvers, but she's still more agile and better at zigzagging dodges. They're not quite keeping track of how high they've flown, with nothing stopping them, and before they know it they're touching the stars – literally.

"Whoa!" Axel flies through a cluster of lights that feel like tiny ice cubes on his exposed face. Xion grabs a handful and stares at them thoughtfully.

"I thought stars were other worlds."

"They are – out in the real world," Axel says, unconsciously compacting some stars into a bright ball. "Everything's different here."

"I like it." Xion smiles and then, without warning, throws her handful of stars at Axel's face.

"Hey!" He exclaims while she flips backwards in laughter. The lights float around, scattered, and he waves them away from his face. "Oh, so you think that's funny?"

He chunks his starball at her head, and the war begins.

They find it similar to making snowballs – packing the stars together just right, smoothing them into a sphere, taking aim and firing at each other, all while dodging and laughing at the top of their lungs.

"Heh, missed me-" Axel grunts as a starball explodes against his stomach.

"You were saying?" Xion teases, already forming a new one and flying over his head.

"Maybe I taught you too well." He grins, rolling another orb. "Take this!"

He lies on his back and hurls it up at her. Xion staggers upwards in midair from the impact, but she's quickly back to laughing and launching more starballs.

Their playful war lasts until both of them are worn out and floating on their backs in the midst of the lights, hands resting on their stomachs.

"I'll call it a draw," Axel concedes.

"No way!" Xion shoves him, giggling. "I got the last hit in, so I won!"

He shrugs with his signature grin. "Well, if you want to think that…"

She sighs. "Fine, it's a draw. But I'm only saying that because I know how much you love to be right."

With another shrug, he takes her hand, and they rest in silence for a while. That is, until Xion remembers something.

"…Axel, what's 'married' mean?"

His eyes widen. "Huh?"

"Remember, when we were watching _Tangled _they got married and lived happily ever after, and you said you'd tell me what 'married' means some other time?"

"Oh, well, you see… hmm." He could tell from the look in her eyes that she wouldn't let it drop this time. "People… get married when – when they really love each other. So they'll be together forever."

Xion opens her mouth to ask what to her sounds like a perfectly innocent question, but Axel pulls her close and holds a finger to her lips.

"I know what you're gonna say, Xi. Not yet. We have to be older, and you'll need to be – well, alive, in the real world. And I have to ask you, when it's the right time."

"So… we'll get a happily ever after too? When we're older?" It seems perfect.

Axel plucks a stray star from her hair. "Kinda – bad things will still happen because that's just the way life is. But that's still a long, long way away." Even though he knows he loves her, that's strange for him to picture at the moment.

"Oh…" _Why does everything have to be so far away? _Axel didn't sound worried about it though, so maybe she shouldn't be either. Something Mother Gothel said, "good things come to those who wait," oddly comes to her mind.

"Don't think so far ahead right now." He turns them both right-side up, holding her close to him. "It'll just make you waste time wishing, and we don't have any time to waste. Don't think about what's going to happen. Think about what _is _happening."

He leans down to kiss her deeply, a warm emotion bubbling between them. She can't do what he said because at that moment she can't think at all, though she knows somewhere in that back of her mind that she'll have to think about the future sooner or later – and probably sooner – but he's right in that they don't have time to waste. So she lets herself enjoy the moment, not trying to arrange any fuzzy puzzle pieces, letting them lie where they fall and make whatever sort of picture they want. And that picture is beautiful.

"Y'know, this almost makes me glad I couldn't feel for a while." Axel smiles when they finally pull away. "I'll never take this for granted."

"Me neither," Xion agrees. The bright stars surrounding them gleam and glitter happily. _We've made it. We _can _reach the stars. _Suddenly they remind her of her ballroom lights, and she smiles just as brightly. "Do you think you're a good enough flier to dance with me up here?"

"What do you think?" He replies with a wink.

They take up their dance positions – his hand on her waist, her hand on his shoulder, other hands laced together – only to laugh as they realize something.

"We don't have any music," Axel says.

Xion flashes a sly grin so often seen on his face. "You could sing something for us."

"Dance _and _sing? What do you take me for, Demyx?" He balks.

"Alright, fine, forget I asked. I just thought you could do it, that's all."

Axel laughs, drawing her closer. "I know what you're trying to do. You're making it sound like a challenge."

"…Maybe." She blushes guiltily.

"Sorry, Xi, but I'm not taking the bait this time." He kisses her pink-tinged cheek. "We can find some other – hey, do you hear that?"

"Hear wha-"

"Shh, listen."

They tilt their heads so their ears can catch the sound – a whistling wind, like a flute melody, growing louder, more instruments adding to the swelling air.

"Miracles never cease." Axel's face splits into a grin.

"What song is this?" Xion asks. "I've never heard it before."

"I think I have…" He closes his eyes to concentrate even though it's now loud enough to hear clearly. Snapping them back open, he smiles. " "Simple and Clean."That's what it's called."

The song seems to flow through them more than around them as they dance, using the whole sky as an invisible ballroom floor. Most of their motions are simple, gliding them around the intangible ground, with a few twirls mixed in here and there for fun. It's odd not to have solid ground beneath them while they dance, but the lack of gravity lets them do things they couldn't before. Axel lets Xion twirl him, and he tosses her up and catches her easily, something he wouldn't have tried on the ground.

Once the melody is nearly at an end, they return to less flashy, back-and-forth steps.

With the peaceful melody fading back into the night, they share a kiss that feels more warm and real than any other. They don't know how long it lasted, just that it would've lasted longer if it wasn't for an odd light illuminating the sky, brighter than the stars and touching their closed eyes.

Axel and Xion separate when they can't ignore the brightness any longer. Looking down through layers of stars, they see the edges of their world for the first time – emerald plains that spill over into the deep, star-speckled sky on every side of the circular platform of ground, so similar to the glass platforms Xion had seen. The light itself is a fiery orb cresting the world's edge.

"A sunrise…" Xion trails off, awestruck by its red and orange beauty, until she hears Axel's gasp of surprise and turns around. "Axel!"

"…Xion, I think this means I have to go now," he says sadly, staring at the stars gathering around his feet and legs. So cold for such bright lights. _Why now, when everything was so perfect? _"It's morning."

She knew it would come. Morning always had to come.

"But…" She reaches out to hold his hand, and he pulls her into a firm hug. Tears leak out and wet his coat. "You'll be back, right?"

"I'll always come back," he says, stars now engulfing him up to his waist, leaving the sky half-empty. The sun continues to inch over the horizon as he kisses the top of her head. "And one day, I'll bring you back with me."

She sniffles, trying to compose herself. "…I know you will, Axel."

"So, same place tomorrow night?" He tries to sound casual, like it doesn't break his heart to leave her.

"I'll be waiting." She forces a smile. _It's just one day. Not even a whole twenty-four hours. I'll see him more here than I did when we had to plan around missions and sleeping… So why does this still hurt?_

He's so bright now, glowing up to his arms, which are attracting more stars.

"I love you, Xion." The sincerity in his eyes melts her heart more than his flames ever could.

"I love you too, Axel." The beginnings of tears well up in her eyes, and he wishes he still had control of his arms so could wipe them away, but they're swallowed up and frozen. His neck is the next to go.

Xion kisses his lips one last time before they're covered too, and the rest of his face with them. His beautiful shining eyes are last to go.

"See you soon, Xi," his voice says, and then the stars are whisking him upwards, out of her embrace.

_Not goodbye. 'See you soon.'_

The sun pulls itself fully over the world.

Xion closes her eyes and falls, through the empty sky, through the grass, the ground, the dark water beneath, once more onto her pillar.

And even though she knew he would forget, she trusted him to keep his promise. He _would _bring her back.

His warmth was with her, and she didn't feel alone.

XXX

_Don't wanna wake up… _Axel surfaced from his wonderful dream-reality, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. _Feels… like…_

There were thin arms wrapped around him, someone cuddling close, warm, sweet breath on his cheek… So comfortable and _real…_

_Mmm… Don't wanna… wake up… _Delicate lips touched his, but faded before he could return the kiss. _No… Don't go…_

He tried hold her the way she was holding him, pull her back to him, but even though he could feel a presence there, his arms fell through her.

He woke up, blinking hazily. Nobody was there, and yet…

_I felt someone, didn't I…? Someone I was clearly close to… _Had he ever had someone like that?

His blissful dream had faded from his memory, but the gentle touch of someone he knew he'd felt still brought a smile to his lips.

**A/N: And there you have it.**

**I think someone asked if I'm going to do a sequel to this, I don't remember who it was. I'm not. I like this ending the way it is, and I think I'll just mess it up if I try anything more. **

**Thanks to all of my reviewers for motivating me to not procrastinate so much and for sticking with this through all the angst! And special thanks again to Jcthegirl who first got me interested in this pairing, as well as Timber Wolf of Purity who writes amazing challenges and the most adorable AkuShi ever. :3 :3 Thanks to Raberba girl for giving such awesome and detailed reviews even though she hates this pairing. XD Also thanks to FireWolfHeart for the pokes to hurry up, and to Mirae-no-sekai and PhoenixBreaker90 for the constant reviews. And one big thanks to everyone else who I didn't mention specifically; I get ridiculously excited when I get just one review. C:**

**And… I think that's it. :D**

"**Wrap that up and give it to a kid on Christmas, 'cause we're done!"**

…**Well actually this isn't the last chapter anymore. XD **


	17. Bonus Scenes

**A/N: It's short, but here are two bonus scenes I wanted to include with Xigbar and Luxord. In celebration of this fic finally being edited/revised into a final copy. C: The first takes place before Axel gets to the Grey Area on the day Xion leaves; the second is after Axel leaves to try to bring Roxas back.**

"You owe me 5000 munny," Xigbar announced smugly, plopping onto the couch next to Luxord and tossing the video camera at him. "Five-star evidence right there."

"It seems you were correct." Luxord smirked, viewing the footage of Axel and Xion dancing. Yes, they certainly were a couple, and they displayed more emotions than Numbers II and X had ever seen from any other members. "There is a risk in any gamble, and yours paid off. This time."

"Pfft, what risk? They've been making moon eyes at each other for days."

"You see quite well for having lost an eye," Luxord commented, handing over a pouch of munny. Xigbar shrugged.

"Makes you pay more attention with the one you do have. Controlling space helps too." He grinned. "I gotta say, I kinda care about those two kiddos now. Tragic love story, can't be together without hurting their friend, blah blah blah. Best entertainment around this castle since the C.O. team kicked the bucket."

Luxord shuffled his cards. "I didn't think romance was your style."

"Never said it was. It's just nostalgic to see them acting so… human. I forgot how spazzy and reckless people with emotions are."

"I wonder if we could've done it," Luxord mused.

"What was that, Pokerface?"

"Regained our emotions in a similar way, simply by trying."

Xigbar frowned. "I dunno. Those kids are something special."

"Perhaps." Luxord shrugged, then changed the subject. "Are you game for another bet?"

"As if I wouldn't be. Whaddaya got in mind?"

"I assume the same as you."

"Which one of them's gonna run away?"

Luxord nodded. "I believe Xion will be the first to go, and Roxas will follow. If Axel doesn't bring them back, he will be last."

Xigbar pondered this for a moment before shaking his head. "Nah. For everything Flamsilocks said, when it comes down to it he'll keep Poppet here. Kiddo's gonna leave when he realizes they're third-wheeling him."

Luxord smirked. "We'll see how this hand plays out, then."

XXX

Xigbar cursed, throwing the munny pouch at Luxord.

"This would be the perfect time to say I told you so," Number X said idly.

The Freeshooter rolled his one eye. "Yeah, yeah. I bet you cheated."

"Would you like to put stock in that bet?" Luxord raised an eyebrow. Xigbar decided his odds weren't that great, so he shook his head.

"Still can't believe Flamsilocks just stood back sucking his thumb while his girlfriend ditched him." Xigbar paced back and forth, scratching at his new eyepatch strap. He'd have to get the pyro back for burning his last one.

"From what I understand, you couldn't stop her either."

Xigbar glared. "She had the element of surprise. Didn't know she was that strong already."

The Gambler chuckled. "Bested by a small girl."

"Better watch your mouth, Pokerface. I've got a new bet for you."

"I'm game."

"When it comes down to it, Poppet's gonna survive. Either Flamsilocks will bring her back, or she'll accidentally kill Kiddo." He wondered which option was more likely. Maybe both.

"Hmm… I'll say that Roxas will survive, though I can't predict how it will play out."

"Pfft, that just means you know you're gonna lose."

Luxord shuffled his cards. "I will leave that decision to fate. Fancy a game of poker?"

"Heh, deal me in."


End file.
